Gone Numb {Zagreus's Funeral}

I didn’t want to see about half of the people who had showed up at the funeral that morning. There was no doubt in my mind that many of them didn’t care that Zagreus was dead, including but not limited to his own parents. Yet, there they were, still attending the funeral. That morning, before I had to make my way there, I got dressed in all black, as people often did for funerals. My dress was form fitting, my shoes were simple flats and I wore a choker with a small white pearl on it. That was the only thing I was wearing that wasn’t entirely black.

When it came to funerals, they were really a new thing for me. I’d never been to one before. I’d never had someone that I’d known die before, though. Zagreus was the first, and hopefully the last on that list. I didn’t want to go and see his dead body lying in a casket. I wasn’t ready for that. I’d felt enough rage when he died. I felt rage where many would feel sadness. When he was killed, I punched his father in the face and screamed at his mother. They didn’t care that he was dead, and they deserved to be punished for it. I didn’t want to see them at the funeral, but I did.

Lorenzo and Charlotte had shown up, and I would do everything that was in my power to avoid speaking a single word to them. Unfortunately, it seemed like I didn’t have very much power, as Lorenzo was the first one there to speak to me, and I couldn’t just stay silent. I was terrible at trying to ignore people. His nose was still clearly broken from when I punched him in the face, which was at least somewhat satisfying to me. Regardless, that didn’t stop his words from flowing in my direction. I raised an eyebrow at him and crossed my arms when he spoke.

“Destriianatos,” he said. He was one of the few people to actually call me by my full first name. Normally, everyone just called me Destrii. “I know how difficult this is for you. I know you were close with him. I’m sorry for your loss.” Before he could continue on, I snapped at him.

“My loss?” I said, my voice raised and accusatory. “It’s not just my loss. He was your son, for Ripred’s sake!” I didn’t stop there, though. “You clearly don’t even care that he’s gone. How shitty of a father can you be to not even care?” I demanded of him. He went quiet after that, shifting his gaze to look down at his feet. It was almost as if he felt guilty, but I couldn’t tell for sure. I highly doubted that that man ever felt guilt in his entire life. He was cruel, and that wasn’t going to change just because he was scolded by me. Then, after a moment or two, my terrible uncle looked back up at me.

“You can’t force me to care for him,” he said in a harsh whisper, as if trying to make it so no one else could hear him but me. Then, he returned his voice to a regular volume. “You can’t punish me for how I feel.” After he said this, he turned on his heel and walked away from me. The funeral session was to officially start soon, and I knew I needed to get myself to chill out. I wanted to tell him that I would’ve broken more than his nose, had his wife not been around, but I knew that would just make the conversation keep going, and admittedly, I was glad it was over with.

I walked over to where Zagreus’s casket was. It was open, revealing his dead, motionless body. Having been cleaned up but still clearly injured, I didn’t want to see him in that state. I knew I needed to do something, though. I couldn’t just leave his body there without saying anything. This was going to be the last time I’d see him.

“Zagreus,” I started, my voice in a lowered tone from how I’d been speaking to Lorenzo. “You didn’t deserve this.” I paused a moment before continuing. “I just hope that you’re more at peace than you were in the world of the living. C’rizz says he can talk to you… I hope he’s right. I just can’t let you leave yet…” Tears were starting to well in my eyes but I stopped them from falling. “I punched your wretched father in the face for you. I want you to know that. I broke his nose when I did, too.” One of the tears escaped. I didn’t want anyone here to see me cry, but it was too late. Everyone was so used to me turning my sadness into anger, but that’s not what was happening as I said my last words to Zagreus.

“I’ll make sure your parents get what they deserve,” I said in a whisper. “I love you, cousin.” I stood there for a few more moments, looking at his lifeless body before I turned away from it and walked back over to where the rest of his family and friends were.