a flee from reality | finley vs dymas [day 7]

It started with my name. It started with her voice saying my birth name that my parents had bestowed upon to me eighteen years ago. She sounded regretful at first, giving me items that was laid out. The boots looks new, never even worn and the shin guards that I remembered was entirely too much help early on. The protection she was giving me was her way of saying she wanted me to live a little bit longer, but it was an empty message. It meant that she didn't think I'd survive without her. With her sorrowful voice, I felt my heart ripping away from me. She had wrapped her arms around me as well before I moved away and sat across from the fire. I messed with my bag for a moment, keeping a hand on one items inside - waiting.

"Keep fighting. If we see each other again, it won't be a friendly fight." And her voice turned from sorrowful and meaningful to something that was more of a promise that meant something different. I nod to her, showing her that I understood what she meant. She didn't have to tell me. No one did.

I already knew what was going to happen.

Although, the difference would be that I would lay down my weapon and let her take what she truely wanted from me if it meant that she went back home. Chivalry will never be dead. Me on the other hand, I could only hope that it never came down to the moment when I would have to meet with her in the morning hours, forced to greet each other with weapons and blades in a final battle. Just being here with her when the numbers had dwindled down to eight was a miracle. Surviving the initial bloodbath was completely good luck.

Good luck was sure to run out sooner or later though.

I watched her zip her coat and as she looked at me one final time, I longed to keep her here by my side. I wanted her to not go and fight with me one more time because I knew when she left, it would leave me here by myself with the fire in front of me and Gilly's body somewhere behind me.

I was caught between the living and the dead.

Existing in limbo never felt so alone and when her words expressed that she'd never forget me, I pulled the camera out. She never looked back, but two simple pictures were quickly taken. Both of them had the same image of her walking away but I watched as the images came into view. They were slow to appear, and I seemed to never blink as I watched her disappear into the darkness, flooded out by the night. All the while, the fire kept me in the warmth like a hug that I could never truely feel.

"Bella, be safe, my friend. May death find you quick so you won't suffer if living isn't in your stars." I looked to the photos and picked up my axe. A number was edged away until it was apparent to what it was and as quickly as possible, I extracted the word and let the last thing I saw go. The remaining picture, I threw into the fire, burning the bond between us.

We were enemies from now on and that hurts.

----

The anthem played right on cue like every other night. My vision darted between the stars and the images that played. Her face was first though. She was smiling so sweetly just as any young child would be. She barely even looked twelve in the photo, which is what I assumed she had taken right before the games had started but when I finally met up with her, she didn't look like that at all. She looked like a tribute fighting to survive with her life that had ended too soon after. Another face played into the sky, but it was of no importance to me. It was just another face.

Isaac Jacobi, the one who'd struck down her life lit up next but I scoffed at the image. He looked like a killer and my mind woudln't play the trick to make him look like another innocent target of the capitol. Instead, I shrug my shoulders and glance to Gilly.

"It's okay. He won't hurt you anymore." It's a whisper to the dead, but it comforts me in a way that I can't explain. The fire dwindles down sometime in the night as my eyes fall to a close. Sleep comes at a great price when horrible visions dance in my subconscious without end. I wake with a migraine.

The pain is unsettling and I can't help but to pinch the bridge of my nose to try to ward off the agony. The never ending lines of trees play with my vision as well as the light that reflects off the white snow causing the throbbing between my eyes to increase. My throat rumbles with aggravation as I open my bag and pull out something that was left over from Gilly's collection. Bella was thoughtful when she had given me the items, that much was fact, but did she leave them with me for a reason? If so, what was the reason?

"Bells. You don't know what you've done, do you? Did you know what these were though?" I look at them, conflicted. Would the effects take me to a world of ease or painful memories? I question myself, teetering on the edge of two evils. The mushrooms that belonged to Gilly lay in my hand begging for me to taste the edge of insanity. If only I were able to think more clearly, but another throb surrounds my thoughts and my tongue tastes whatever reality they want me to take.

------

Trees dance in my feild of view.

Snow falls upside down in every direction.

The exisitance of my own life was prismatic. With every step, my body felt lighter than a feather. Balance was something I couldn't control. Voices whispered to me in multiple tones and pitches, but one inparticular that I could never forget. Ever.

"Gilly?" I look around, darting my vision to detect the exact location of my little friend. Her voice was but a hum, yet she felt like she was right next to me. My heart skipped a beat thinking that maybe she was never dead after all. Maybe she was fine now? I pushed forward in the direction of where her whispers were coming from, but another voice joined the dream. This one was much more defined. More real then just a whispered voice of a little girl.

"Gabe? What are you doing back? I thought you..."

His face flourishes with a smile standing just a few feet away from me. His presence shoves me into a different altered mindset. He was supposed to be dead! I watched him die right in front of me. I watched as he was struck down by an enemy and the canon sounded. He was supposed to be on his way home already to go back to his family. Unless -

"There are people waiting for me, there is a promise trailing behind me." I nod to his statement.

"I know. You need to go back to your district. Your family is waiting to bury you. How are you even alive?" I question immediately, my head tilting from the left to the right. I stumble in the snow, falling to my knees and gripping the axe for stability. Gabe strikes at me with an imaginary weapon, but my skin becomes electric with painful waves. A crawling feeling touches my forehead, tickling my skin like an arachnid. "What did you do? What did you put on me?"

I wipe at the cut. The game makers must be playing a trick on me because Gabe can't truely be here. "I don't know why you are here, but you won't be much longer. You need to go home. Get away from this place."

[Dymas is currently on Shrooms. Random roll]
mNplTHfxaxe
11100 -- Block -- 0.0 damage
(Axe)

1-2
1. Dymas
2. Finley

Gabe's form flitters around in front of me. His arms dance above the reversal of snow. He even seems to be walking at an angle that I didn't know was humanly possible. He denies putting anything on me at all, but I know that's not true. I can feel it. On my fingers wriggle little insects of some capitol form, then with a blink it shifts into nothing. He was right, but then why is he making me feel like he's done something horrendous to me? Why would Gabe taunt me like this?

Again, the legs of an arachnid tickle against my forehead. I instead let it. It wasn't there a moment ago. The twinge on my forehead some how begins to materialize something to the left of Gabe, another ghost. Another form of a figure that I try desperately to look at. The waves settle behind Gabe and for a moment, I squint to see. I grip the Axe harder, pulling on it's weight against my body. I'm hardly strong enough to lift it after that last attempt to rid myself of the zombie that was dead ally.

"Who is behind you? Who did you bring with you?" My voice wavers just as my legs do when I try to stand. A moment ago, I felt the need to put this image of Gabe out of my head by hitting it. Now, I linger on the image that is nothing but a blur still yet.

"There is nowhere for me to go, not now anyway. What has happened to you?" I study him. He moves in my peripheral vision, sauntering closer to me. Dodging just isn't the answer when he lifts his arm up and once again makes a motion at me just like last time. Before, I felt something burn into my head. The waves of color shot into a convolution before my eyes then softened.

This time, when the motion penetrated my right arm, a ruby monochromatic silhouette coated my arm with warmth. It puddled beneath my feet like a floor of lava.

My lips turned up and I began to survey what just happened. Something started to make sense where sense had no perception. Gabe didn't truly exist in this world where I was living, or was I dead and this just happened to be his dream? Could it be that this is my limbo waiting on him to pass over? All I know is that when he moved his arms, this dream intensifies. It becomes so much more real and I don't understand it at all. I shouldn't have eaten the mushrooms.

I want to live. I just need to switch places with him.

"That wasn't nice of you Gabe - that kinda hurt - I think?" Fingers latch onto the axe, and I step toward the figure. Strength escapes me when the ghostly apparition behind him starts to model another that I knew so dearly when the games only began. Her lips permanently looked detached from her face, no physical attributes that I can recall makes sense, but her gait and size. Her hair cascading over her cheeks.

"Eva?" The name escapes from me- bringing her to life. She steps in front of Gabe to protect him. I shake my head. "Why are you protecting him? He killed you." I feel sadness swarm over my chest like the butterflies that appear in front of me. They are blue, encompassed with a yellow hue like a golden shine. I can't imagine just letting her block him from the seas starting to churn.

"Eva - Gabe... why are you haunting me?" I beg them, bringing the axe up and cut through this dream.


[Dymas is currently on Shrooms. Random roll]
1jkXSKaBaxe
11180 -- Miss -- 0.0 damage
(Axe)

1-2
1. Dymas
2. Finley

"Eva is not here, Gabriel killed her."

Truth, correct? I recollect that small bit of information. It had been retained and dwelled upon for a while, but what I can't understand is that he's referring to himself in the third person. 'Gabriel killed her' - visual delusions mask the man in front of me as Gabe himself. No amount of blinking can make his face shift away from my dead alliance member nor the killer of the person from my home district. Two people that carried something special with my own journey and here I was trying to defend, yet attack the both of them.

I beg to understand the difference. Why were these two haunting me? They should be silenced in the death that I know happened, yet they remain among the living in my prismatic dream. Why was Gilly's call taunting me moments before they appeared? "There nobody haunting you, it is just me and you Dymas." The name is my own. I am Dymas.

Dymas Nyx.

I am a district four career, but why do I see the faces of others and not the face of the true form in front of me. Who am I trying to block?

"I only see you, Gabe - or what you were when you were alive. Eva is trying to hide you - keep you safe." I explain to whoever it is in front of me. Whoever he is, he has Gabe's face. He has his voice, altered with a filter. I can't control what I see, but I know he exists in some way or form. The Snow continues to plummet down in buckets right before my eyes. They still rise up toward the sky, commanding this world to turn upside down right before my eyes.

I rub my eyes furiously and see the vibrations of trivial pain rock my existence. His face distorts in front of me. He begins fading. Gabe's exterior melts away like a clocks face - gradually. First his hair changes from dark to light. His eyebrows and then his eyes change from a hollow man to one full of life. This wasn't Gabe at all, and the man behind the mask starts to make a full appearance all together.

"and you... you killed him." I feel my stomach churn and the butterflies begin to swarm in front of me. The bright yellow shine of their wings flutter quickly, distracting my vision. They are trying to keep me from peering at the murderer that stands in front of me. "Why would you do that to him? Why couldn't you protect my district partner, she was Eva?"

Subconsciously, I fight to remember the things that I needed to recall. This boy whose face finally revealed himself is not of a friendly value. A triangle of guilt runs through my heart - dashes through my mind telling me that he is one of them. If he truly is one of them, then my future has already been decided.

"What do you feel like.. knowing in this monochromatic world of death, you are a bringer of sorrow?" I cast at him the only thing I can. His physical presence has turned into a swarthy figure with an obsidian heart that beats twice its normal speed. I think I feel sorry for him, but emotions were not made to be part of whatever world I currently am part of.


[Dymas is currently on Shrooms. Random roll]
zgdAAHR7axe
11115 -- Shallow Cut on Stomach -- 4.0 damage

1-2
1. Dymas
2. Finley

-Thump-thump, thump-thump-

The humdrum sound of his heart escalates from within my ears. Every breath and every word that I hear, it increases. The ticking of his heart has now started to play a dramatic song within my ears and in my mind I see it in so many shapes. His erratic heartrate has yet to slow down, but increase ever so much more. Was it his heart though? or mine? Is the guilt his or my own-

It has to be mine though. From the moment I stepped on that train and met Eva, I felt like our fates wouldn't be decided until it happened but there was always hope and a smile. I tried to smile, but when I did sorrow replaced it. The arena was never a place for someone like me despite my upbringing. I was never meant to come into the games. I was raised a career by my parents, but my heart belonged to only one specific purpose and one specific person. That person would never see me again, and that fear chimed in the back of my mind like a annoying broken clock. "Angel will come for me." I whisper to myself in the presence of mine own enemy. I try to say it with as little voice as possible, but in this reality, I can't be certain.

"The only way I could have saved Eva was if Gabriel died and... and I was too late." His words get tangled in my mind like a ball of string wadded up repetitively for years. The migraine never left me, only clouded until now.

-Thump-thump, thump-thump-

"I don't believe you." I shake my head and swat at the falling snow. The vision of dots color the view of my opponent. I can barely remember what district he was from. Yet he continues on with a response to my revelation. He was the bringer of sorrow come to make me relive all the lives that I've encountered in these games that actually might have meant something to me. Question was where was...

"He's telling the truth. It was too late to save her." Her voice challenges my mind. Fingers tighten around my ears to block out Gilly's missing company.

"I need to get home so that others can survive. Weren't you taught how to kill back home?"

Was I? Is that what momma T was trying to teach my all my life? To maim and harm through the vigorous exercises and early morning training. Was my life before the games all in preparation to take someone's life away from them? I don't want to think that is what she was doing but in the end, it was. The high I'm on only brought that out more in revelation.

"Yes? Maybe. I never killed anyone though. I was never a future weapon, but I fought to protect and to survive. That's all I've been doing this whole time."

-Thump-thump, thump-thump-

Recognition for his tears stain his cheeks. Beautiful waves of oceans crash against his lids, spilling over the edge. Back home in four, I used to watch the ocean's surge and wonder how the waves grew so much power to lap over the most jagged of rocks. This boy, was a jagged rock and the arena is the ocean to him.

"I was taught to kill, but were you? And how do you know, if you survive that you will actually be able to save them too?" My fingers dance against the wound caused only moments before, forgotten in the misery of words. How did I not feel it this time? "Do you even want to go home knowing when you get there, you'll have to see my face every night? Or Eva's? Or Gabriel's? Or Gilly's? Or anyone else you came into contact with?"

-Thump-thump...-

"Don't Dymas. Don't hurt him. Don't become what he is." Her voice carries into my mind again. My head shakes from side to side. "Why can't they leave me alone." I swing blindly into the kaleidoscopic snowstorm to stop the onslaught of bygone times I can't escape.


[Dymas is currently on Shrooms. Random roll]
xqiPSACaaxe
11101 -- Shallow Cut on Left Bicep -- 3.5 damage
(Axe)

1-2
1. Dymas
2. Finley

My words feel like a skit. Like something I've rehearsed for weeks only to come down to it in this moment in time. My head still swims with the anticipation of death or whatever this state is. The tree's have began to float in unison with the convolutions it began. They've upgraded in this realm. The district nine boy tells me of his family, his meals that he was only able to consume twice a day and the though ran from within my own. I have no siblings to go back home to. I have two mother's that are anxiously awaiting my return to the sea, but I wonder if the only way I'll return will be to have my ashes spread across the water's surface. I would become what I loved so dearly. What should have taken my life in the first place.

"Being there for someone is all I wanted when I first came here. Like you, I have someone waiting - My Angel is waiting on me. He saved me once. He breathed life back into a body waning on the edge of death." And the onslaught of tears don't stop falling from his face. My blade moved though, and a crimson trickle painted my body from my own inabilty to dicipher which way to throw my blade. I hiss out, holding my arm as I look to this poor guy in front of me.

I have to remember that he killed Gabriel. I have to remember he couldn't save Eva. Because of that, he ended up killing Gilly and my life was going to be the next to suffer the consequences of his own sins.

Sins I will never incurr.

Fingers play with the axe's handle as I stand here in front of him. "Other victors must carry the pain of seeing faces..."

Other victors? Reels of old games begin to flash before me as a screen replaying the past. Various figures pop up and I watch them shift through his own figure. "Mace... Teddy... Leon - Leon." His name pops up and so does his image. He was the one who tried to keep me and Eva alive this whole time, but why isn't he trying to keep me alive now? Can't he do something about this altered reality that I have plagued myself with?

"What are you doing to yourself?" The question blurts out. I know exactly what he means, but I can't control what I've done. I can't take back what I tried to do to get rid of the painful memories and the migraine it caused.

"It doesn't matter what I've done to myself. The only thing that matters is that the voices of my allies go away. The ghosts need to disappear, but they are ever more present then I can handle. You will be a ghost soon enough and I dont want to see you either. I don't want to hear you." A glitter of another voice carries itself into my fantasy. I feel a pang of guilt and longing.

"Give them hell, Dymas Nyx." Her sweet voice eggs me on. She's right. Bella, even though I burned her photo of her leaving me last night, her voice still lingers in my head. She's stronger then whatever those mushrooms were.

"She wants me to tell you that you don't belong in my world."

[Dymas is currently on Shrooms. Random roll]
648Ll1LNaxe
11177 -- Shallow Cut on Chest -- 4.0 damage

1-2
1. Dymas
2. Finley

Pain represented itself differently to me at this very moment. It wasn't a physical pain that pulsated through the nerves. It wasn't definded by the blood pouring through my arm. Although, my head begins to swim with a new sensation from blood loss, I assume. The ruby red waterfall of life courses through it's own path set and marked by his attacks. It floods over my arms. The snow mixes with it creating tinges of pinks and those colors explode right before my eyes as fireworks. The flow is never ending and the voices are plagued just the same.

"Give them Hell, Dymas Nyx." Bella's voice repeats itself. Each time with a different tone. A new meaning. She wants me to give him hell, but in what sense? By my own undoing or by his mighty hand? My eyes begin to fall heavy and what I see in this tribute is clouded over. His body creates a mist around him, lingering around every curve of his body. It dances around his head and circles around his arms, thrice.

My axe pushes forward hoping that maybe the mushrooms would finally offer me solice and take my own life right in front of him by accident, but instead, he begins to bleed through the blades miniscule hit.

I stagger in my step.

My feet collect a mound of snow atop the tip of my shoe. I gaze at the flakes that have bound together adn realize just how I have forgotten to send Angel a message that I had been fine like the first few days. He hasn't seen his symbol where I walked. Does he hate me now? Does he realize how tired I truely am? How much I want him to know that I will never cause actual harm against a human because he taught me that life was so much more precious then mine own?

"This isn't your world and it isn't my world. Nobody owns this world, we all just live in it." Swirling mists that once occupied Finley's body float toward me in a scurry. Suffocating my breath. Stealing my sight. A heavy fog surrounds my head and darkness takes flight as well as his blade that bites into my already aching arm. My grip loosens immediately, almost dropping it.

I can't let go though.

"This world is weak. You're right. This world picks and chooses who it wants to live. I do not own it because in the end it owns me. It owns you now, too." I heave, displaying a hidden smile by the vivid storm around us.

I stop in my tracks and drop my arms, looking to the missing sky. "The world is weak! No one will live in the end. Our bodies will only entangle the same routines day in and day out. Only death will consume us all... Even me, If I can alter it and make it my own. Maybe you'll see me when the timing is right."

I grin heavily, bring the axe up and kiss the ruby coated blade.

[Dymas is currently on Shrooms. Random roll]
6Zf14NmQaxe
11102 -- Deep Gash on Chest -- 9.5 damage

1-2
1. Dymas
2. Finley