Post by D9F River Styx [Kaplan] on Aug 15, 2019 18:12:09 GMT -5
Hope. It's a name that means quite the opposite of the word itself, now. It's closer to meaning hopelessness and fear, instead. So many people who have carried that name are dead and gone, never to return home alive. Maybe I'll be the next one. Who knows, truly? Our family tree keeps dwindling, and it will never quite thrive in the way it once did. I could be the next leaf to fall from one of our branches.
People tell me that I should have a more positive outlook on life. With how things are in Panem, between the Hunger Games forcing children to fight one another and the people of the Districts starving every day, I don't know how I could. We watch the tributes kill each other every year, cutting each other apart and slicing one another open. There are children dying on our streets because they didn't get enough to eat. How could anyone radiate positive vibes in such a world without faking it at least a little bit?
Should I ever have the opportunity and the ability to do so, I'd start a rebellion. If it were within my power, I'd take down the Capitol and stop the Games. I'd make it so that the ones that were suffering were the people of the Capitol, not us in the Districts. They've always treated us like we're scum. They act like we're disposable pieces of rubbish that they can just toss away when we're not of use to them anymore. The Capitol deserves to be taken down, but I don't have the power to do that. This means that I have to do what all the good little girls in the Districts do: keep my thoughts to myself, move about my day in this terrible world, and just stay quiet.
To those who look on, I'm quiet and cold. To my family, I'm talkative and kind-hearted. They're the only people I feel that I can truly speak my mind to, aside from my absolute closest of friends. It's always been difficult for me to make friends, since I don't speak to people much and have difficulty trusting them. I do, however, have a few people who were once strangers that I've now grown exceptionally close to, and that I trust almost as much as I trust my family.
One of my closest friends is a girl with the surname of Moon. Their family, too, has suffered lost, although not the same extent as the Hopes. Destriianatos has trouble trusting others, too, so it's by an odd chance that we've grown to trust each other so much. Sometimes, there are bouts of time where we don't see each other for a few weeks, but when we are reunited, we are still just as close of friends as before. We have known each other since early childhood, after all.
Many people, including my close friends such as Destrii, have told me that I'm pretty. I don't typically know how to respond to compliments such as those, but I do appreciate them. It helps me build my self-confidence, which I've never had a whole lot of. My gray eyes and cocoa brown hair pair well together, and I dress in clothing that looks good on me. Some days, however, I wish that the little flaws I notice in myself would go away, even if others don't see them. I notice the things such as the little acne scars upon my forehead, and the burn scar on the palm of my left hand from when I accidentally touched hot coals as a child while someone was cooking. People try to tell me that my scars are stories and that I shouldn't be ashamed of them. Perhaps if I listened to those people, I'd be a little more happy with myself.
When I talk to new people, although that's something that I often avoid doing when possible, I am sometimes asked to share something about myself. If I were in a situation where I had to do that, I suppose I'd try to share some of the few happier, more positive things about myself, although those things are often hard to find. I'd tell them that I love to draw and to paint. I'd tell them that I love to admire nature as I go on walks about the District. I'd tell them that sometimes, I feed the stray animals I see around District Eight. I'd tell them, most of all, though, that my name is Jessa Hope, and I'm stronger than most people think.
I'd say that I'm stronger than most people think, because, if I had to, I would fight. I'd say that I'm stronger than most people think, because, even if I didn't have to, and I could, I would fight. If I had the chance, I'd show the whole of Panem how strong I can be. I'd show them that I'm not afraid. I'd show them that the Hopes are not to be struck down like we're worthless. I would show the whole of Panem that the Hopes are a family a strength, not one of weakness. We are strong, whether the world believes it or not.