a good night }} poppy x justice blitz

He knows me too well. Thriving upon confrontation, determined not to be seated comfortably within his shadow I bear my teeth in resignation and find my gaze fixed. Slowly, soft lips wrapping around the lime; my eyes do not leave his in the time I take to taste. The ghost of a grin lingers there, and I know I stay a second too long.

One. Two.

They taste like a forest fire. I can feel the ash settling at the bottom of my lungs. And I'm too proud to cough, even though the tequila tears my throat raw and so instead my cheeks bubble with palms pressed firmly to my lips, brows furrowed as cheeks burn in embarrassment. It's been a long, long time since anything was how it used to be. Mom. A new title, a new life. Tequila shots are forgotten the long nights my son whimpers, begging for the touch of his mother. Cedric is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Yet a single night is without sin, is it not?

He's two years old and tucked safely into bed. Ellie is with him and he will always be better than I.

Truth helps the third shot go down. There's maybe twenty minutes before Armageddon. Proof is in the way my heart begins to flutter, eyes fixed upon my friend instead of the past laden with rose petals and what could have been. Because here we are, with hearts tied to anything but each other but purpose finds itself laced the way our fingers suddenly are.

"Dance with me." It's not a question, but a command. Justice Fray thrives off of the power he holds, the status perched upon his temple like a crown of made of thorns but I have never feared a man who fears himself.

I don't wait for an answer- I didn't ask for one. The storm thunders on, louder as my feet hit the dance floor but I cannot hear their screams when I rest my hands upon his shoulders and sway to cheesy songs played at a cheap bar.

Just how it used to be.

Sixteen. I was sixteen when I met Justice. With embers upon my tongue and a life I'd never recognize now. Running circles around myself with blades clutched in calloused palms.

They've faded by now. Soft skin replacing the expectations of parents who had desire for nothing more than power, than the status that runs stark within Cedric's veins but I think of nothing other than the way that Justice smiles. Strangely free of burden when my body is pressed against his and I remember the feeling. Puzzle pieces, complete in their own right but so much better together and I'm happy to let the music take the place of my heartbeat. To close my eyes and rest my head upon his shoulder because all this has ever felt is

right.

Minutes. Hours. Time is honey, dripping down my spine, onto my lips and there is sweetness when I run my tongue over them. Something I am desperate to savor because I cannot remember the last time I was this free. I think I understand, sometimes, why this life draws him. The restless few left to tear the night to shreds and god it's exhilarating to be a part of it. Chaos lain within the fabric of reality, stitched within the seams and-

there's a stage.

I pull away from him, suddenly and without hesitation. Confidence, purpose. There are stars in my steps and a hitch in my breath. It's not enough to stop me.

A subtle wink as I sew all eyes to me, dancing to cheesy songs in a cheap bar and I know my eyes are upon him when they shouldn't be.

I lick the honey off my lips once more, for good measure.

Like this.

I don't feel like I've won. There's a dessert in my mouth and the world burns when he touches me. Gentle, like I remember and I'm trying my hardest not to fucking remember because there's a ring on his finger and there's a ring on mine. Everything about this is wrong. Everything about us has always been wrong. We are but broken mirrors looking longingly into a future that we cannot have. These moments are forbidden, beautifully stolen- captured in between cupped palms and I wrap my own around his cheeks and revel in how complete I feel.

He broke my heart and then I broke his. And they lived happily ever after. Our story has long since ended. But I try not to remember that. "Take me back." It's little more than a whisper, carried away on a heavy breeze and I don't know if I even want him to hear it. "To how it used to be."

I mourn the part of him I never got to know. His brokenness has made him, with scars worn thin along his skin and gaping wounds tucked away just beneath his smile. I've never known a Justice who needn't a drop of alcohol to keep each breath from tearing him apart and blissful ignorance is all he can ever regain. But I don't think that he knows how. Too desperate to please- to feel wanted. He is beautiful, no doubt, in his commitment to self destruction but I miss him.

I fucking miss him.

"Please."

Collision course. We are shipwrecked and I can taste tequila upon the rubble. Stop. My hands find a home within his tousled hair, knuckles white because it's not enough. Stop. Closer. I want him closer. Reality seeping from in between ignorant eyes blissfully sealed shut and I can feel it clinging to my lashes. Burning holes upon my cheeks and it is peculiar that this bliss hurts so bad. Please, don't stop. Laughing against his lips- for the first time in forever I'm allowed to remember. Nights blinded by expensive wine, before everything was complicated and my happiness was not synonymous with their pain.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. The clock's screaming. Perhaps for tonight we are allowed to forget the scarlet strings tied to our wrists, satin slicing into soft skin and I'll bleed out before the night is over. And tomorrow morning will taste of stale regret with eyes fixed upon anything but each other and we will choose to forget what we mean to each other again.

We can't exist, not with each other. Within fate we are bound and gagged, prisoners to our own choices and it will always end like this. It was always meant to end like this. With my teeth upon his bottom lip and hands like cinnamon trailing down my spine. Tomorrow morning the answer will come in ringing ears and throbbing skulls, in the way my chest feels like it was cracked wide open and shattered again.

But we have tonight.

"That time-" I don't pull away, simply leaving my lips to rest upon him as I search for breath within a suffocating night. "When you said-."

I bite my lip and I look at him, really look at him and for the first time in forever he is here. With blush dusted upon his cheeks and lips so selfishly swollen. This is wrong. We are wrong. And I guess I've come to accept that. "I know I said it didn't matter and I don't think I know if it really does." But I grab the collar of his shirt and I kiss him until I can feel the stars beneath my skin.

"Me too, Fray. Always."

I'm so sorry.

I kiss them away. Diamonds catching the yellowed haze of a street lamp above us and there is something about the way he breaks that feels so familiar. There's knots in my stomach and poison in my heart; every beat is sluggish and in spite of myself I cannot help as anger flares somewhere forgotten in the depths of euphoria. "Two years ago." The words are little more than a whisper, laced with black licorice and it feels so fucking good to face Justice. My Justice. "You left me." Bare feet sticking to the bathroom tile and there he was, knight in vomit-stained pajamas. I'm scared for you, Fray, all the goddamn time.

"How can you expect me to stay if you aren't even here?" It's not like I won't. It's not like I'm leaning into his touch in spite of myself, keeping my fingers laced tightly within the stained cotton shirt. Selfish.

Selfish.

Selfish.

"How many nights do you remember? What about their names?" I'm not angry, I haven't the right to cling to what was never mine for more than a night. We're still friends, right? Yeah. We're still fucking friends. I'm resigned to pretending, to fleeting glances and empty promises. And I know that he cannot look me in the eye and tell me that this means something more than

want.

He wants. We want. And so we act like anything will change when the morning comes because fantasy smells of cedar and smoke- I keep my face pressed into his shoulder and despite the tequila, I shiver. "I love you too." The weight of the words turn my bones to dust and I want nothing more than to forget, to promise that we will find a happy ending through our sentenced purgatory.

But we won't.

"And I never left."

We're caught up in a fantasy stained crimson. Corrupted with every fevered kiss and I cannot find an answer no matter how I strain my eyes against the navy sky. It's purple now, slowly birthing a fresh dawn and I'm certain that the earth left shattered by our disaster will not find itself healed by the orange light. Tonight isn't going to be enough. I know that because it never is. But there are rings upon ours fingers; I cannot take my eyes off of his.

How many days, Justice? How many days until you promise yourself to a woman who isn't me?

I can't bring myself to ask aloud.

We can't run off into a sunset stained rosy because I have a family and he has a wife. I have Ellie and he has Elara and everything was so much simpler when this was another fling- another mistake to be wrapped up neatly and sealed with a subtle kiss. Tangled within his spider's web there are fangs in my neck. I don't think they're his. Love isn't easy, it isn't simple. I love so strongly and so separately that it feels as if I'm being sawed in half.

"Is there anything we can do?" My voice shakes, trembling as I look up into his eyes and my legs feel as though they've been replaced by static. "Other than enjoy tonight? To forget who we belong to?" To pretend that we are free.

Secrets stashed away within my pockets hang heavy in the sweltering heat. "Unless you have any bright ideas, Fray." I'm not good at being weak, at vulnerability. At bearing my heart without rhyme nor reason and so I try to laugh to pretend that I am more than a fawn shaking with her neck placed firmly within the jaws of a predator. Banking solely on faith that he is strong enough to resist his instinct.

I tempt fate. Playing with the jewel upon his finger and biting back tears. Bite me. We'll never have a happy ending, at best we will be each other's dirty little secret- stashed away at the back of molding drawers and counting down the seconds 'til resentment kicks in. Bite me. I want nothing more than for this moment to stretch on for an eternity. So that I needn't think of the future seeping through the storm clouds of daybreak.

So c'mon Fray.

Get it over with.

Bite me.