Post by Sleepy Fluttershy on Jul 3, 2018 15:07:36 GMT -5
Age: 17
Gender: female
District: 2
[ scandal ]You shift uncomfortably in a stranger's lap, drowning your nose in another glass of whiskey...
"Have you ever been in love before?"
Your one true eternal love at this very moment is his wallet. You stroke his arm gently, your fingers travelling lower and lower, eager to liberate the man's pocket from the unnecessary weight.
"No."It is true. More truth - less reasons to feel bad about lying. You can barely scan his features in the foggy dark depths of an underground club.
"Do you want to be?"
You blink thoughtfully, faking confusion and innocence.
"Maybe."
His grip on your waist is so firm that you are barely holding back a scream.
"Want to take things further?"
Nice of you to ask
You lean closer and your whisper melts in his ear:
"Meet me in the bathroom. Five minutes."
A pure embodiment of grace, you jump down from these disgusting knees and blow him a kiss. He will have to wait longer than just five minutes. Longer than ten...
Serves you right
______________________________________
You step outside, breathing in the air of the night and fade in the shadows, the red glimmer of your curls disappearing last. It won't be long until you reach a dirty narrow alleyway nearby and hand your earnings to a suspicious figure, getting a small bag in return. Your steps will sing against the road when you run home and then you'll fly down the creaking stairs to a basement. Shaky hands will accept the drug and a sigh of relief and satisfaction is going to ease your troubled mind for a few minutes.
"I love you, mama."
You are going to watch her fall into the sick unconsciousness and mumble to herself. You are going to crawl to a rusty bucket in the corner and wash your hands till they grow red. Scrub his touch from your face until it burns from cold water. Refill the bucket, do it again and weep quietly until your whole body goes numb with uneasy sleep.
_____________________________________
You'll dream of flying away with your mother's crooked shape - away from this madness. It feels like this has been an eternity and not just three years. You have always wondered if there is something wrong with you when you felt like running away, if you will ever get used to it. But since the first time you were brought into that smelly pit it has been a nightmare.
The man who taught you the ways of this dirty job told you he could make your mother feel better - so you held back vomit and tears with every smile, every embrace. You changed your hairstyle more times than you can remember, pierced your ears in three places, wore outfits the memory of which wakes you up at night - all this to become a living bait and bring your employer what he demanded.
_______________________________________
Waking up will hurt just like your mother's mad tears, always asking for more. You will have to get her more - you don't care how much harm it brings if it delays the suffering.
A day of career training.
An afternoon with a growling stomach.
And then it all starts over.
You will do it as long as you have to, holding on to the wrecked shape that is your only friend and parent as long as neither of you breaks.
Because you know you'll shatter if she ceases to exist.
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