the end of something good [Fiona Funeral thread]

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They'll either want to kill you, kiss you, or be you.

the end of something good [Fiona Funeral thread] Nov 30, 2018 21:38:32 GMT -5

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Post by * on Nov 30, 2018 21:38:32 GMT -5

Life is funny in the sorts that you never really know when you are truly going to die. How you sometimes just know when you are faced with a certain battle that you know there's no way to win from it. This was that fight.

I was looking death straight in the eyes with these four people. Each and every single one of them was part of my destiny thought. No one is born into this world perfect and without pain. Some have to deal with pain from the moment they are born and some have time to mold over it. Others never experience it in their lives but then in the end of their long lives, it all comes crashing down. One thing after another after another. The hope that my life would have been long lived was hardly that of a wish for I never wished to live a long and full life. I had other aspirations and most of it was because of my family that watched over me from the very first to now, bless their wandering souls.

Today, I'm destined to die for all my wrongs.

The thoughts that ran through my head was simple because I felt like the day had arrived. All my wrongs in my life, all the loneliness that I felt would be karma coming back to bite me in the ass. I just didn't expect it to happen so soon as I attacked someone nameless to me. It was in effort to protect someone and it wasn't just to be a bleeding heart. I cared for Carmen like my own littles that I couldn't save. It was an act of merci and love that I cradled her head for the last four nights since Faux's passing. She brought me back to life when I had nothing and as I got in front of her, making sure that they didn't touch her, Quest's life was also trying to be spared. I felt accomplished with my movements.

My promises to Faux would be kept.

"Quest - you know what you need t..." Ve was too fast for me. My heart threw its self against my chest cavity and as I stumbled backward to dodge the aim of my assassin, I faltered.

Halted.

My life suspended into the air with a type of slow motion. The blade moved toward my face. My eyes shifted to Carmen. Shifted to Shy. Shifted to Quest... Shifted back and -

Darkness.

I began to fall forever. I could almost swear I was screaming as loud as I could, but maybe it was all in my mind. Maybe, they couldn't even hear me but all I can feel is pain. Pain and something leaking from my face. My heart stopped.

It started back.

It stopped and I swear I heard a voice.

"FiFi. FiFi, it's time to come home. You're sister's are waiting on you. Do you see them? Get up-" His voice was elderly, shaking just slightly and the sound of his voice was the sound of something similar to home. It was something that I desperately wanted and try as I might, the darkness just won't let me see it.

Everything around me is just... pitch... black -

Why can't I see anything? Quest? Carmen?

Table by Kaplan

Sleepy Fluttershy District Mayor 970 POSTS last seen Mar 30, 2022 16:20:24 GMT -5 «Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm». (Winston Churchill)	the end of something good [Fiona Funeral thread] Dec 1, 2018 2:21:14 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Sleepy Fluttershy on Dec 1, 2018 2:21:14 GMT -5 Placeholder.
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uwu Capitol Resident 1,005 POSTS Pronouns: You last seen Mar 26, 2024 10:21:50 GMT -5 cries in watermelon	the end of something good [Fiona Funeral thread] Dec 1, 2018 2:22:36 GMT -5 via mobile Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by uwu on Dec 1, 2018 2:22:36 GMT -5 Place holder
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the end of something good [Fiona Funeral thread] Dec 1, 2018 2:22:48 GMT -5

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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2018 2:22:48 GMT -5

Quest Hertz

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

It’s not that I don’t believe there couldn’t be something after we die. Lots of idiots put faith in that we get another chance. Feels nice to them, to get reunited with people that they loved. Or that whatever we didn’t understand here, would make sense of after we die. They spend their whole lives being put down by other people that to have something to cling to might make it all worth it.

That’s not stupid. That’s just sad.

Except I’ve never thought that I was going to get just rewards. I grew up with a family that taught me there’s not much to look out for except yourself. And maybe I just have a greater sense of self-awareness – that these things we struggle through, don’t always make us better people. That there’s not some path or winding thread leading us to an endpoint. If anything, we’re hurling through space without a purpose. A rock that’s eventually going to die itself, and everything that’s ever been written or dreamed about is going to go with it.

My body feels as though it’s going to split in about four different places. But I have enough in me to cradle the boy from two and to heave my way over to Fiona. The others have gone now – likely thinking about how they could tear me apart the next day. Wander’s gone, too, and I wonder if the tiniest pin prick in my stomach is regret. I’ve fought so hard, for five days and – I wonder if all the pain is starting to get to me. I’ve seen death; seen at least three kids die in front of me and all I want to do is fall down and sleep for days. But I know I’m never getting what I want.

Instead, I’m left with the body of Fiona. The girl that was brave enough to sacrifice herself for Carmen. One that was good enough to save me, or at least let me live, when she could’ve just as easily gone the other way. I thought that she was too much inside her own feelings. The type of girl that I would’ve avoided because I couldn’t imagine doing those sorts of things – that it was a waste of time to feel so much for any one person.

Look where it got her, after all.

But she wasn’t wrong, being able to know how she felt and put it to words. I could have admiration for someone that was willing to go out as she’d always lived. Maybe she and Shy and Carmen and me would all be forgotten in the annals of hunger games history. But I always thought what was most memorable were the kids that ended being the type of people they’d always been, or wanted to be. Not the ones that broke apart and started to go crazy, or turned dark for the sake of letting all of those emotions control them. Or the ones that thought they were heroes for tearing each other apart.

“Fiona…” I started. I leaned forward and felt the pain slip up through my spine. I fell to my knees, more because I couldn’t hold myself up than anything else. And so I was sitting down in front of her, looking at a body that was going to be taken away from us at any minute. And I’m looking at this girl that I’d hardly known, and thought about how it made the pain stack inside of my body. “I hope you get some rest, finally.”

I let the quiet live in me for a moment. I listened to the waves along the shoreline. The clack of rocks in the water.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you – that you weren’t so bad, after all. Feeling the way you felt.” My voice was soft, and I wonder why I’m speaking to her. “I’m sorry you won’t get to see how Carmen’s going to save us all. Or that Shy’s going to surprise the hell out of the rest of them. I'm sorry it ended this way.”

And I’m quiet, so that it’s just me and Fiona, even with the rest of them around.

“That I promise to do like you wanted… as long as I can.”

So go in peace, Fiona. Leave the world, and don’t look back.

There’s nothing left holding onto here.

*Creep as covered by Scala & Kolacny Brothers

Last Edit: Dec 2, 2018 22:42:50 GMT -5 by Deleted