❨ our golden fleece ; hades&bea ❩
Dec 8, 2018 18:52:23 GMT -5
Post by eulalie blake 1a 🍒 tris on Dec 8, 2018 18:52:23 GMT -5
B E A
Beatrix hesitates at Hades' door. All she has to do is knock, but it’s as if gravity has rejected her — and even as the world keeps turning, she stands frozen. Her knuckles are clenched, her arm is shaking, but her mental commands fall on deaf ears and numb hands. ‘Don’t be like this, Bea. Don’t be a coward.’ It’s almost embarrassing, how often the young woman frightens herself away from the simplest tasks. Anxiety is an old friend, she would know it blind, but the relationship has grown tiresome. She hates feeling so small. Maybe the universe is too big for its own good.
When she reminds herself of her new title and status, she squares her shoulders and lifts her head. None of it feels familiar, the forced pride and the mask of confidence. And it’s silly, she knows, to crave change only to be afraid of actually receiving it — but there are always whispers playing in the back of her mind. That she doesn’t deserve what she has, that she’s not even capable of handling the pressure; that she’s the punchline of a joke that’s still in the process of being told.
Working in the background had never troubled her, but now she’s at the forefront of the Capitol’s mind. It’s a terrifying place to be. She’s hardly made any progress, the 81st Annual Hunger Games are still trapped within the confines of neatly stacked blueprints, but rumors continue to swirl among the elite. As expectations rise, she becomes more sure that she will break from the stress. Nameless girls do not often survive the wrath of Panem’s black heart. Such a beautiful land; such a hungry empire.
She has been appointed a god, but she feels the weight of her mortality even still. How could she ever hope to survive among the ranks of the divine? How do they expect her to skin herself of her insecurities and bury her soul away? Not alone. And even then — fear is not easily lost. It has a way of finding you again. She hears the lock clicking out of place before she realizes that she finally went through with her intentions, tucking away her hand to hide its trembling. She reminds herself to breathe.
"Mr. Lochlan," she greets the young man standing before her. "I’m Beatrix Alfray. I assume you’ve already heard, but I’ve recently been appointed Head Gamemaker for the upcoming Games." All of her words taste bitter on her tongue, like she’s telling an elaborate lie and trying to convince herself that it’s true. Her name sounds too powerful, too sharp. "Bea is also fine, if you’d prefer." Awkward silence returns, and she grips the strap of her purse tighter. "May I come inside? I have a business proposition for you."