maia burgess. / district 11 (fin)

sidney Veteran Member 1,027 POSTS Pronouns: she/they last seen Jun 4, 2024 0:17:24 GMT -5	maia burgess. / district 11 (fin) Feb 5, 2019 3:00:30 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by sidney on Feb 5, 2019 3:00:30 GMT -5 maia burgess - seventeen - hopeless
	Last Edit: May 25, 2020 13:11:14 GMT -5 by sidney

sidney Veteran Member 1,027 POSTS Pronouns: she/they last seen Jun 4, 2024 0:17:24 GMT -5	maia burgess. / district 11 (fin) May 31, 2019 14:54:39 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by sidney on May 31, 2019 14:54:39 GMT -5

sidney
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maia burgess. / district 11 (fin) May 31, 2019 15:26:20 GMT -5

Quote

Post by sidney on May 31, 2019 15:26:20 GMT -5

You'll fall in love one day.
And it's going to kill you.

A hundred times, you've heard this. It's been whispered to you as you lie tucked in tightly to your bunk; crooned so very sweetly into your ear as you drifted off to sleep; molded into fairytales where you were the princess and you were strong enough—smart enough—to live without following your heart. That's what your mother did and all it got her was a broken heart and a daughter to raise alone. So each night when she should have been reading you bedtime stories, instead she warned you.

You'll fall in love, Maia, and it'll kill you like it killed me. But at least I got you. I can't lose my baby girl. Don't fall in love, she'd beg you over and over, cradling you within her arms each night. Please, don't ever fall in love.

I promise I won't, Momma.
And for a while, you didn't.

You claimed your chest was empty, a wide open space filled with nothing. You turned your nose up at all the boys who pulled your pigtails, or pinched your shoulder; so immature, so reckless, so rude. You closed yourself off from everything and everyone, living your days with a pencil put to paper, inside an imagination where you could do anything you wanted, be anyone you wanted, love anyone you wanted.

And still get to live.

He pulls you into the sunlight and against your better judgement, for a time you never look back. Until he says those three little words. Until he tosses all his caution to the wind and offers you his heart.

You think you're alone in this world.
But you're not.

You remember the first time he said that to you like it was yesterday. Spat in your face because, once again, you're keeping him at arm's length; you push him away despite the loneliness that clings to your bones. You tell him love is for fools who don't value themselves enough, who have their head in the clouds and everything to lose. You spout your cynicism like a preacher delivers a sermon, with such unmatched conviction.

He almost believed you.
You almost believed it, too.

But Felix could always see right through your carefully concocted bullshit, couldn't he? He could see the poison your mother weaned you on and thought himself the cure. And you, the fool who let him get close enough to become an expert on you. So skilled in the art of spotting Maia Burgess's many walls of defense from years of practice, learned in the feat of tearing them down through nearly a decade of just you, him, and the fields of District Eleven you call home.

And yet sitting there beside you as you crush the heart he so willingly offered up in your hands for what feels like the hundredth time—on the same bench where he'd hugged you after your mother's last overdose, in the same park where you'd held his hand when his little brother was dying of fever, in the very same spot you sit now, alone—

He kisses you.
And it feel like having your throat cut.

But despite your best efforts to resist, Felix had worked his way into your bones. He made a home in the depths of your chest, wrapped his hands so delicately around your mangled heart, and promised to cherish it. Always, he'd said before the fever came. He talked of marrying you one day. Of having a family, teaching them to farm like his father taught him, passing on the knowledge of survival he knows so well. Teaching them to paint, you'd chime in, wanting to pass on the art to an adorable tiny human the two of you made. For the first time in your life, you were hopeful. You fell in love and wanted to plan a future with him.

He doesn't survive the harsh winter that follows, neither does his family. It takes their crops first, then their savings, and finally their health. And suddenly you realize why your mother repeated those words over and over when you were a little girl. Why she tried so har to protect you from such a devastating thing as love. Losing him felt like dying; felt like a killing of your soul.

You'll fall in love one day and it'll kill you.

An addict she may have been, but for what it's worth, she was wise beyond her years.

There's not much left of you now. The world around you looks dull and gray. Boring and tainted with the grief that still clings to your insides. It lingers, suffocates you in the most unexpected moments, clouds your art and hinders your passion to the point where you just feel like a ghost. Going through the motions. In the shell of a girl who loved, and lost, and learned it would have been better to never have loved in the first place.

You should have listened to your mother.

Last Edit: May 25, 2020 13:10:34 GMT -5 by sidney

sidney Veteran Member 1,027 POSTS Pronouns: she/they last seen Jun 4, 2024 0:17:24 GMT -5	maia burgess. / district 11 (fin) Jun 17, 2019 21:44:46 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by sidney on Jun 17, 2019 21:44:46 GMT -5 four months later and we finally finished ripred_bot
	Last Edit: Jun 17, 2019 21:45:07 GMT -5 by sidney

Deleted 0 POSTS last seen Nov 21, 2024 15:29:05 GMT -5	maia burgess. / district 11 (fin) Jun 17, 2019 23:04:03 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Jun 17, 2019 23:04:03 GMT -5 You are now allowed to use this character on the boards. If your character has a play-by, please register them with the Face Claim. Plotting opportunities can be found in Character Plots.