All My Mistakes [Rex/Vasco]

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All My Mistakes [Rex/Vasco] Feb 13, 2019 1:47:58 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2019 1:47:58 GMT -5

Vasco Izar

And though I don't believe in silver linings,
I believe there's something in you
something good is trying to break through
you might have to fight the good fight
and when you think you can't, you can
take it from an old man.

I am guilty.

The moment that it was not Emmanuel’s name, nor Sophia’s that was pulled from the reaping bowl, I covered my face to hide the tears collecting at the edges of my eyes. I shouldn’t have been the least bit joyful, with two more children heading toward their deaths, but I was as selfish as any man could be. At least I could be honest that I wanted nothing less for my family than peace. Failing that – hope for our district after a long drought of games without it.

Of course the capitol would pull a Rhodes from the bowl. Some will tell you that there are just as many Rhodes boys as Izars (and if any one of us ever decide to marry they might as well have renamed the district after us), so it shouldn’t have been much surprise. Except I know well enough that the capitol revels in cruel twists of fate. Each of us have lost a child – Bakar and Benat; Druso and Salome; Aresti and Gabriel; me and Raquel – as though we are paying for our ancestor's sins during the dark days. The words were caught in my throat when I saw the peacekeepers start to move for him (forgetting where I was and who I was), until a hand shot up to take his place.

He is not one I recognize and I marvel that any child could be so brave as to throw themselves at the mercy of the games. I should’ve known well enough, considering it ran in our veins. Still, I cross myself and shake my head as the flash bulbs burst, knowing that he’s gone and condemned himself. None of them had come back, and it was hard for me to imagine it would be much different for him, hard as I try.

I gave a slow and steady knock at the door before deciding to enter the room where they were holding Rex. I’d fretted with Emma whether or not this was the best idea – they didn’t want to hear from an old man like me, not the least of which to wish them well or to remind them of what they were leaving behind. And yet I couldn’t stop myself. I had turned over at night thinking of all the things I wish I’d said to Raquel, and what she had probably wanted to hear.

“Mr. Antilles?” I say, my voice quiet as I close the door. “I’m Mayor Vasco Izar. I wanted to start by saying – thank you.” I pause. “And to know that I will do my best to get you sponsorship, in any way I can.”

*Take It From an Old Man, Waitress

Noah Vau - D2 (Cato)
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All My Mistakes [Rex/Vasco] Feb 14, 2019 0:10:03 GMT -5

Post by Noah Vau - D2 (Cato) on Feb 14, 2019 0:10:03 GMT -5

Rex Antilles

It's hard sitting here locked away in a room where nobody cares. Echo and Fives came by, and we talked for a while. I explained what was going on, and I told them everything I knew. I explained why I did what I did. They were obviously sad, and that's very understandable. My mind is still so very numb from everything, and I don't know if anyone else will show. It's kinda my own fault that I'm ever here. I've messed up, and I'm realizing that, but I had to do it. My friends and family may never understand. They may never realize my entire life I've stayed on the road I needed. Now I've gotta walked away from it. I already placed myself on a narrow path, and it's so windy now. So many curves. So many choices. I'm unsure of what to do. I'm unsure of where to even go with life. I just keep telling myself I can do this. I stand up and pace the room for a moment, and I only stop when there's a knock on the door. My heart sinks cause I think it's time.

I frantically sit back down, but I don't see a peacekeeper. No, I see Mayor Izar standing in front of me. My hands are shaking, heart rate picking up. I don't know what to say to him. He walks in slowly, and I feel myself becoming more and more anxious. Sweat rolls from my hands. My entire body is shaking, and he simply says a few words. He thanks me, and my heart drops to the floor. Why is he thanking me? Is he that close to the Rhodes? I know he's lost people, but I'm also just sitting here confused wondering what's going on. He then says he'll try to help with sponsorships, and that's something huge. I know they're important and I feel a little better. Can't bring myself to look at him though. I like being left alone by people of authority, but I guess I brought this on myself. I have to have help, and he's willing. A grim smile spreads across my face, but I'm not sure where to go with it all.

I don't know what to say to him, but I owe him something. "I don't know why people are thanking me." My voice is quiet, and I'm trying gonna I act calm. Trying to be the person I'm meant to be. But the nerves. I hate this. Everything about it. My heart is racing. I'm just trying to do what I feel is best for me. I look around trying to find a place to stare. Anywhere's better than him. I guess I should thank him for coming to see me. And I should thank him for trying to help. It'll help me after all. I wonder if he saw the girl. I wonder if he cares for her. She deserves it more than me. "Thanks for trying to help me." I pause before returning my gaze towards him. "Will you try to help her to? She didn't ask for this like I did." The words hurt, but I have to say them because I need to know before I'm shipped away for what's probably forever. I put my hands in my pocket because I don't know what to do with them before shifting my gaze back towards the ground.

81st Hunger Games

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All My Mistakes [Rex/Vasco] Feb 21, 2019 0:28:02 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2019 0:28:02 GMT -5

Vasco Izar

And though I don't believe in silver linings,
I believe there's something in you
something good is trying to break through
you might have to fight the good fight
and when you think you can't, you can
take it from an old man.

“Rex – can I call you Rex? I’m thanking you because you took a leap for someone else. And you may not know, although I think you do, what that means to him, his family, to this district.” I look into his eyes and see flashes of Benat, of Gabriel. I see a boy that’s not quite a man taking the weight of things on his back. Someone who’s not ready to carry the load, but who’s done his damnedest to be the sort of man the world needs. It’s a storm that overwhelms me then, to think that either he or Arianna could come back (or worse still, neither). But I’ve seen enough deaths to know that you can’t fall apart before you know they’re gone.

Thanks for trying to help me.

I give a nod, and the same sort of smile I gave when we’d been up on that stage to welcome Teddy Ursa to our district crosses my face. Ready to break at any moment, to peel away and reveal all the muddying undercurrents beneath. This is the game, to play or not – we didn’t have much choice. There would always be a hunger games to take our children, to take what was whole and good and turn it into something separate, and ugly. And I see him, the shakiness that young boys have with an old man when they’re afraid they’re going to be caught in a lie.

“You know I’d give anything to have someone have stepped in for Raquel.” I tell the truth because it’s all that I can do. Maybe I’m not supposed to – maybe I’m supposed to be afraid. Should I burden him with it, when he’s already given so much? “My daughter was tough as they come – like her mother. And I thought, if I prayed hard enough, and was good enough, she might come back to me.” Five years gone, and I think about how much the world has changed. My face in a photo in the justice building, my wife and children in a bigger house, peace keepers milling about.

“You might not ever get to know it, but you’ve already done more than anyone could have asked of you, Rex.” He’s too young to know what it would mean but, I say it all the same. And I think about Raquel’s shadow cast long behind him, what I should’ve said to her when she was seated in that chair. “Remember how much strength that took, mijo. Even when you feel like you don’t have any left, it’s there. More than any career’s ever had in his heart. It’s in our blood – working the land and bringing life.”

Will you try to help her too? She didn’t ask for this like I did.

I move to put a hand on his shoulder and I hold it there, eyes on his. “Anything you ask for, I’ll do my best. For both of you. I don’t know if it will be enough but, you have my word that I’ll try.” And there’s the smallest bit of hope, to know that such a boy could exist. In all the pain, in all the horrors we’ve seen, there’s still hope.

“What do you need, Rex? Your family… I want to help you to take care of them,” I smile, because I can’t say no matter what happens without a crack in my voice.

*Take It From an Old Man, Waitress