devil like me / damaris + saturn day 2
Mar 6, 2019 15:02:39 GMT -5
Post by goat on Mar 6, 2019 15:02:39 GMT -5
damaris hope
I am not a good person.
A good person is selfless. They put everybody else’s needs before their own and never expect anything in return. They don’t let their own feelings get in the way of what needs to be done. They’re kind, no matter what.
If I were a good person, here’s what I wouldn’t have done— I wouldn’t have walked away. I wouldn’t have stood a safe distance away and watched my ally as he crouched in the dust, hands splayed out on the ground. I wouldn’t have stood there debating whether or not to go back, to sit next to him, or at least to hover over him and ask if he was alright. I wouldn’t have done nothing as he cried out and drove his weapon into the dead creature’s skull over and over and over. Why did I just stand there? I wasn’t afraid that he was going to hurt me. We have this understanding between us, it might be fresh and raw, but it’s there. I’m just a coward who doesn’t know how to deal with other people’s feelings because I barely know how to handle my own.
Saturn starts to stagger over to me. I stay where I’ve been standing. My dress, caked in dirt and blood, hangs loose around my frame, no wind to blow it in a dramatic breeze. I lost my cowboy hat some time ago, leaving my scalp exposed to burn under the unforgiving sun. I’m a mess, I think. A sunburnt, bruised up, spineless mess.
When Saturn reaches me, looking like he’s seen a ghost, I don’t know what to say. I open my mouth, then close it, press my cracked lips together. They still taste like blood from when I bit my tongue earlier. Finally, I speak. “Are you alright?”
I look down at the ground, embarrassed of myself, embarrassed of my inability to ever say the right thing. “Sorry. That was a stupid thing to ask. We don’t have to talk about it. But, um, if you want to, we can.”
[title from devil like me]
A good person is selfless. They put everybody else’s needs before their own and never expect anything in return. They don’t let their own feelings get in the way of what needs to be done. They’re kind, no matter what.
If I were a good person, here’s what I wouldn’t have done— I wouldn’t have walked away. I wouldn’t have stood a safe distance away and watched my ally as he crouched in the dust, hands splayed out on the ground. I wouldn’t have stood there debating whether or not to go back, to sit next to him, or at least to hover over him and ask if he was alright. I wouldn’t have done nothing as he cried out and drove his weapon into the dead creature’s skull over and over and over. Why did I just stand there? I wasn’t afraid that he was going to hurt me. We have this understanding between us, it might be fresh and raw, but it’s there. I’m just a coward who doesn’t know how to deal with other people’s feelings because I barely know how to handle my own.
Saturn starts to stagger over to me. I stay where I’ve been standing. My dress, caked in dirt and blood, hangs loose around my frame, no wind to blow it in a dramatic breeze. I lost my cowboy hat some time ago, leaving my scalp exposed to burn under the unforgiving sun. I’m a mess, I think. A sunburnt, bruised up, spineless mess.
When Saturn reaches me, looking like he’s seen a ghost, I don’t know what to say. I open my mouth, then close it, press my cracked lips together. They still taste like blood from when I bit my tongue earlier. Finally, I speak. “Are you alright?”
I look down at the ground, embarrassed of myself, embarrassed of my inability to ever say the right thing. “Sorry. That was a stupid thing to ask. We don’t have to talk about it. But, um, if you want to, we can.”
[title from devil like me]