"goodnight" | wynter

If I scream, I die.

"RUN!"

I rip open my throat. They rip open my head.

"RUUUUUUUN!"

And I die.

So they can live.

ii.

Death is kind to me.

I don't deserve it. 

There's no sound here. There's nothing. Nothing at all. Just a white mist shrouding everything around me as I stand. I must be standing on something because my feet feel like they're resting on something solid, like a floor, but every time I try and look down things get fuzzy and this place pulls my head up. Something whispers.

Listen.

But I can't hear anything.

Look.

I can't see anything but the mist. 

But I hear-

Look up.

There's a bird in the sky, if this place even has one. It's far away, fluttering above me, and I can hear its wings pounding as it moves. I squint up at it, for a while, but it shoots off. Dives into the mist. I look towards where it went and see a boy.

He's taller than me, with a bruise across his neck. That's the first thing I notice. And then I'm startled, because suddenly he is standing in front of me and he grins.

I don't understand.

"Neither do I" he replies calmly.

I wonder how long he's been here. 

"As long as you have been, I think. Who knows."

None of this makes sense. 

"It doesn't, does it?"

And then I realise that I haven't spoken a single world and he taps his left eye. "You're like me. I can't see you through this one."

I don't understand.

And he laughs at that thought. "Your eye is bruised. So is my neck. You can't speak, and I can't see. Funny, isn't it?"

I don't think so.

He laughs, again, this time quieter. "That's alright. It's my time to go, anyway."

He winks at me. A bird flies through the space between us, and he is gone.

The mist breathes his name.

Quillon.

And suddenly, I can't breathe.

iii.

The ocean is furious, ice-cold and all-consuming. I lash out and find my limbs to be sluggish and weak in my decent, salt in my throat and a hand squeezes tightly around it.

Maybe this is hell.

It's dark down here. I blink in the ocean but that doesn't help, it all looks the same when I open my eyes. So as I twist and turn and try to scream the ocean eats my words and my voice and I drown in silence,

over and over again.

("That's enough" a girl called Rowan whispers, standing on the shore - her voice is quiet. Painful. She is hurting.

"Wait," another instructs. "A little more-"

"That's enough!")

Something wraps its hands around my wrist and I yell out at the touch but no sound leaves my mouth. Instead I am dragged upwards, away from this painful hell, until I break from the surface and gasp so forcefully I might drink up the sky.

I am lifted into the clouds and then the hand that saved me flings me toward the shore. I fly, for a moment, and then I fall.

Hitting the shore with a thud, it hurts for one last time.

I suppose pain is what I deserve - but I can't remember what I did to get here. 

I lie there for a while, dark hair covering my eyes - that's okay. I don't want to wake up. I don't want to look up at the sky that rejected me, see a false god staring back. Maybe it pulled me from one hell and threw me to the wolves - another day, another hurt. 

It's what I deserve.

"No it's not..." a voice says - unfamiliar.

After a while, I open my eyes and see 8 pairs staring back at me. 6 girls and 2 boys, I recognise only one. His eyes  sparkle like stars, curious. Close. Yet so very far away from me.

Who-? I go to say, but my fingertips find my lips and I discover I cannot speak.

The others look at me with concern and intrigue - the youngest of the eight looks the most frightened. The sky rumbles when I look at her. One of the boys takes her hand and leads her away and the others crowd in closer. 

"Sit up," the girl with curly yellow hair smiles, gently pulling me upwards. "Come on, you're okay."

I obey her and my chest lurches - I spew salt, and wonder why my hair is suddenly dry.

The sunlight glistens as she smiles, answering my silent question. "I took care of that."

I'm confused, overwhelmed. The salt water evaporates and as I blink, the world blooms. The ocean crashes in the distance, but the waves are no longer filled with rage. They're soft, kissing the sand delicately. The sky above it, fragmented in places by frozen lightning, holds the sun and the stars - dozens of them. One in particular shines the brightest and I want to ask why but my eyes become distracted drinking in the rest of this place.

Turning my body to face the place behind me, I discover a forest that seem to stretch for eons. At its base lives beds of flowers every colour of the rainbow and small birds live in its branches, eyeing me nervously. 

Looking back to the sea is an island, lonesome on the horizon - yet it feels as much a part of this place as the sand. As I look to it, then to the sand I sit on, then to all the people here, things become hazy. 

"She's been through a lot" one of the girls murmurs in my daze, tall and gangly with long brown hair. The forest whispers as she speaks. "No thanks to you."

"She'll survive" replied the smaller one, whose voice was the calmest thing I ever did hear. "We've faced a lot worse."

"What's her name?!" the blonde girl with a voice as warm as the sun interrupts. Her words are eager and impatient as she bounces in her place, almost desperate as I am to know more. "I wanna know her name."

"I don't think she can talk" adds the tallest one of them all, who stands off to the side - eyeing me cautiously. 

I don't know what I've done, but I know it isn't good. And I still don't know who pulled me from the ocean.

"You're welcome" replies the skinnier boy, his long face twisting into a grin. I know him from somewhere. I'm sure of it.

"Lost my vision in the process, by the way" he laughs - Quill, I hear his name in his joy. Tapping his left eye, he continues. "Don't worry. Just the one eye is buggered."

I nod, unsure - but processing. Another pair of eyes look at me - this time, from afar. I raise my gaze to meet hers and the girl blinks back, unafraid, but cautious. 

Her male friend nudges her in encouragement and after a few moments she stands, letting one of the birds from the forest flit toward her and nestle on her shoulder, and walks toward me.

The others part like the sea when she arrives, dropping down to her knees to peer at me. I scrape my hair back from my eyes and let her look. She sees something I can't. The robin on her shoulder cocks his head and peers at me too, hopping from its ledge to sit on my leg. 

"She's like me" the girl concludes, smacking her lips together and turning toward the calm one of the group. "Isn't she?"

"Yes" one of the older girls replies, brown hair dancing gently in the breeze.  "Can you find out why, Scarlett?"

The robin on my leg hops to my knees, then my hand, then flits around my head before flying back to the child, finding comfort in the crook of her neck.

Big brown eyes find my own again and blink - the child called Scarlett continues searching for something within me. A few moments pass and she stands back up, nodding. 

"She's okay."

The rest of the group sigh in relief and I still cannot speak.

"She's just been hurting for a very long time," Scarlett explains.

"It's not her fault though, Rowan -" the child adds, looking at me solemnly before turning to the two wisest girls. "Aria, tell her."

"You're right" replies the calm girl, Aria, who seems to be the leader. Beside her stands Rowan, relieved yet worrisome. "She's alright. She's safe with us. Thank you, Scarlett."

One by one they pull away until there is all but Quill, Aria, and a silent girl with yellow hair, pale skin, and bright blue eyes gawping up at me.

"This is Lace," Aria explains to me. "She's quite like you."

Lace smiles softly and I smile back. She takes my hand and pulls me up with one of her own, pointing to the sky with the other. I'm scared to look up at the sky but she makes me feel warm without saying a word.

Quill arches his neck and squints up at the sky - a star shines for him. He smiles solemnly and says but one word: "Raven."

They soar across the sky and join the robins here.

I look to my own star and try to say the word but this place won't let me. Lace understands.

Summer, I try. Summer. Summer. SUMMER.

Why?

Lace shakes her head and takes my hand once more, tugging at it softly. I look into her eyes and see my reflection, and then I understand.

"Winter" I say, hearing it ring out across the sea and the sky like thunder, and I know it will be the last word I ever speak.

A snowflake kisses my forehead.

Somewhere, Summer Rochelle smiles.

fin.