this canyon moon [frankel]
Apr 30, 2019 7:53:46 GMT -5
Post by ryan on Apr 30, 2019 7:53:46 GMT -5
Its been some time before she realized that almost a year had passed since she had walked out of the arena.
She still doesn’t know how to feel about it.
Maybe its because she is still haunted by all that she did in order to walk out, or maybe it was because no matter what she did, the memories would haunt her.
Except these memories weren’t in her head, no. They were physical manifestations that she could not apperate.
They could look her in the eyes.
The face.
The mind.
Nothing stopped them, and all of them, at least from what she knew, were still alive, even though that was probably a relative term if she was honest with herself.
After all, she had been dead for over a year herself.
But that didn’t mean that her persona wasn’t alive and kicking.
Persona Non-Grata, is what they called it, at least that is what she was told. Burned at the metaphorical stake that was stabbed into her by the capitol. Sure, she was a household name. But what kind of house would invite someone that killed people for the sake of survival? Entertainment? Even fun?
Not one that she wanted to be in, that was for sure.
But here she was.
Trying her hardest to not open the train car door and leap into the mountains below her.
She thought about it, many times as she traveled from four to the capitol. Just how easy it would have been to take her own life.
She was told by many other victors that that thought does not leave your mind. That most victors will always feel remorse for what they did in the arena. However, Annie wasn’t like most victors, because they at least got to try to put their actions in the past. Annie was always reminded of the people she killed, because they lived.
And that was something that she knew was a curse from the get go.
But it wasn’t all bad. At least, that is what she thought.
While some of them would not understand what it was like to be a victor, they at least got a chance to go on and live again, and while she only met a handful of the tributes that entered the arena with her, she still held onto some of them closely.
Lexandry Lionel.
Angel de Costa.
Hellion Mo.
Wander Sibley.
Parson Cham.
They were the ones that still reached out to Annie even though she had committed crimes against them. She violated Angel. Killed Lex’s closes friend. Helped murder Wander’s alliance. Left Hellion and Parson to die.
And she regretted all of it the moment that they happened. While some were out of her control, as she was not the one to stabbed Parson in the neck, or Hellion in the eye, she was still a witness. A martyr without a cause.
She was complacent in not doing everything she could do in order to prevent it from happening.
But Annie needed to remember one thing, that she needed to do what she did in order to survive. That while she loved them. She loved them with all her heart, she could not bring herself to sacrifice herself for them.
Except for Wander Sibley.
Maybe.
And so she sat in her room in the train car that she occupied and told herself that she was going to be alright, because at the end of the day, that was all she could do.
Katelyn made it very clear to her that day in the museum, that this was not her fault. That she had to do what she could in order to come home. That didn’t matter to Annie though, at first. But now that she had spent a year away from the situation, she realized that she didn’t just have one home anymore. She potentially had twenty-three she could pick from at any given moment.
If they would let her in that is.
Annie couldn’t predict anything, and realistically, they would be mad to let her in. At least to her that is.
After all, ruin follows wherever she walks.
She walked off the train, her destination six.
She was invited to talk to the mayor about the current state of their district after their games.
It had been a long while since someone from six had made it to the top eight of the games. They thought that the capitol might start to send some extra resources their way, which meant that they needed to figure out a way to bring district moral up. Annie wasn’t sure what she could do though. She knew that District Six had a history of not placing well, except for Teddy Ursa, six usually died early in the games, and hers was no exception.
She agreed to come, but they didn’t have to know that Annie truly had no interest in trying to figure out how to help them. After all, they had a victor already, they could have leaned on him. Annie was there to see Parson, and nothing else.
She sat in a room with a bunch of people that she didn’t know, and for a moment, she wondered if there would be an end to being expected to fit into a box. She knew that being one of the newer victors meant that she didn’t have a choice but to behave herself, but with the soon crowning of another, Annie wondered if she could start falling into obscurity.
With a quell twist like hers, she doubted it. She would be remembered even if she disappeared, because at the end of the day, there was twenty three reminders of who she was.
Twenty-three reasons to hate herself even more.
She left the room, taking a deep breath as she breathed in the thick air of District Six. This place was nothing like four, they valued knowledge and health over the water and the fighting. Both of which Annie could respect. After all, someone has to do it right?
She moved through the motions, making a left at the district square and taking a moment to take in the scenery. There was something magical about viewing another district from an outsider’s perspective. Most of the people didn’t know who Annie was, and she was okay with that. She knew that being a victor, she could live wherever she wanted. However, she had too much pride to leave four, that and she had Wander and Angel Mer to think about.
While she was stuck though, she couldn’t help but be okay with it, as long as they were happy, she was too.
She moved forward and pushed through a small group of people before finding her way through the city square and on her way to the victor village. She could have waited for Teddy to appear. Theodore Ursa and her haven’t had a whole lot of interaction since she had been crowned, but there was at least enough for them to know who they were.
She wasn’t here to see him anyway.
And as she walked she thought about her fourth day in the arena, and the sound of a spear piercing flesh as she watched Parson Cham fall to the ground, clenching his throat.
Blood was everywhere, and Annie was distraught, especially with the words that they shared that morning.
She couldn’t help but think that it was still her fault.
And as she walked through a bushel of trees, she laid eyes on the gate to her destination. She picked up tempo, running towards it and pushing it up faster than she could breath. She walked up to Teddy’s house and peered through the window, spotting Parson walking through what appeared to be the living room.
She tapped on the window, giving him a light smile and hoping this meeting would be anything but unwanted.
After all, it had been too long.
Too too long.
