To Hell and Back Again {Nico/Eagle}

"How do you stay so strong?
How did you hide it all for so long?
How can I take the pain away?"

It was as if Death himself had called out for Dove at the reaping of the Seventy-Ninth Annual Hunger Games. She'd been selected out of hundreds, perhaps thousands of other girls to go fight to the death, and she was killed, only to have the one who killed her, Mackenzie Pryce, emerge victorious. Now, a similar cycle had appeared once again, this time for Raven. Raven, however, didn't need Death to call out for her. Instead, she volunteered for the Games, and for almost certain death, herself.

At first, according to Raven, she'd volunteered because she wanted to be with Dove again, meaning that she wanted to die in that arena. I told her that day, when she'd put herself forward in place of the other girl at the reaping, that she damn well better try to come home alive, and in the end, I could certainly tell she had tried. Her fate, after all of it, however, was like Dove's. She was killed in the arena, and her killer, Nico Thorne, emerged victorious.

The day I met Mackenzie Pryce, I snapped. I yelled at him and I wanted to attack him. In the time since then, however, I was mostly able to remain in control of myself, since I didn't have to see him. I'd have the occasional outburst when his face graced the television screen we were sometimes forced to watch, but I tried to keep myself calm, for the sake of my remaining siblings. They didn't need to see how much losing Dove had broken me. At least, that's how I felt until Raven was gone, too.

Now, I knew I couldn't always keep myself under control. Another killer of one of my siblings would be walking free, allowed to live their life. Not only that; they'd be bathed in riches for everything they'd done, just because they'd be living to tell the tale. When I saw Nico kill Raven on that screen before me, I yelled out, screaming and clenching my fists. It would have seemed rather childish to anyone watching as I did this in the District Square. We couldn't afford a television in our own home, after all, meaning that this rage was for all to see.

Then, when I saw Nico kill the final tribute, now being crowned victor, I knew what I had to do.

He'd laugh in my face, surely. I didn't expect an apology, but I was going to meet him, and he was going to learn what I thought of him.

---

The day of the victory tour was upon us, and I told Falcon and Kestrel I was going out. They didn't know what I planned on saying to Nico. They didn't know how I planned on saying it or how I planned on acting towards him in general, either. Hell, I'm not sure they even knew I was going to see Nico, but I was sure that Falcon assumed as much. I didn't expect him to come after me, though, or try to stop me. He needed to look after Kestrel, after all.

---

When I saw him, I clenched my fists inside my coat pockets. I was wearing the jacket I almost always wore; the same, grungy-looking, brown one that I'd gotten from my father years ago. It used to be much too large for me, but I'd started to grow into it a bit more, even if it still was a bit baggy. My hair had been combed, but only by running my fingers through it. I didn't own an actual comb. To anyone who looked at me, it was clear that I didn't have much money. That's often why I was bullied, too, but I couldn't do anything about it.

I wouldn't be surprised if Nico decided to point out to me how terrible I looked. I expected anything but sympathy from this young man.

Once I had the opportunity, I approached Nico immediately. I wasn't someone who took long to build up the courage to do things. Perhaps that's why I was often reckless. Regardless, I didn't care. I was angry, and Nico needed to hear my voice.

The question was, should I let him know how mad I was immediately and risk him just walking away, or should I reel him in with some false kindness, first?

"Nico," I said to him. It wasn't Mr. Thorne, or anything like that to me. No 'sir' or whatever. Just Nico. "I'm Eagle Elsu," I said, extending a hand. I suppose I was going with the latter of the two options; false yet convincing kindness before letting him know how I really felt.

lyrics: "Fallen Angel" by Three Days Grace