as clearly as the day [cable bridge day 2 open]

nell cyprus





Everything is dark. Everything is cold. Everything is nothing.

I.

Am nothing. Can’t breathe. Wouldn’t dare. Hear her. Hear her calling to me. Remember ice and wings and nothing. Hear her searching.

She wants me to join her. In the dark. She rises. From a pitch black sea she rises. She is the center of the world and she cradles me, traces my face with frozen fingers that crack. That shatter. That fall away to feet so many miles below. Her face is carved into ice, her arm chiseled in the shelf. I lay in the crook. In the fold of her elbow. She has me. She’s always had me. Why would she let go now?

“Is it time?” I ask. I am hopeful. I am ready.

Mom smiles at me. Teeth etched into snow white walls. “I have waited so long.” I try and stand. My body refuses. There is burning inside, motors turning without results. “I must wait longer,” she says, “for you have more to do.” I want to argue with her, to fight her one more time. I’ll never have the pleasure. She twists her arm and lets me roll off. Everything is familiar, and I am falling, and so, so cold.

“You’ll be okay,” she whispers, and even though her mouth is in the sky her words are breathed into my ear. I shiver and smack into waves of nothing.

I sit up fast. Gravity brings me back down. Stars litter my vision, blurred with leftover shadows of a frozen empress. I am still shivering when my eyes catch up with my head. Gloved hands press into my temples. Balance. I take in a deep breath - ”you’ll be okay” - and exhale. I’m alive. I don’t know if that’s cause for celebration. Seeing Dusty and Sky off to the side is. I make sure they can’t see my face before letting it all out: a sigh of relief, an untamed grin, and a sense of pride. The last part sits in my chest for a minute longer. Two spacey nobodies and a kid, the bravest kid I know. Victorious. We aren’t a tried and true recipe for success. But we are alive. Together.

My hands move to the back of my head and I flinch. It’s tender and aching, and I can’t pinpoint why. Black satin drapes over my thoughts, my memories. I only feel cold.

The watch on my wrist beeps, and I remember one thing. Eos. Still half-disoriented, I lower my face to the band and start pricking letters.

Nell: hey eos, it’s nell. just messaging to check on you and make sure you’re okay-

I erase it and start over.

Nell: hey eos, it’s nell. just thinking about you and your hair, did you get to see outside today? i hope you did, it’s as beautiful as-

I erase it again.

Nell: hey eos, it’s nell. we should hang out after this, i know a sick bakery-

Once more.

Nell: hey eos, it’s nell. i found a board game in that closet room and i was thinking we could play together-

I take a minute and close my eyes. Something about this girl, this murderer makes me so nervous. Maybe it’s that she’s a double murderer. For some reason, that doesn’t feel like why. I swallow a buildup of saliva and hunger claws at my stomach for the first time in the arena.

Nell: hey eos, it’s nell. i would split my beef stroganoff with you. if you wanted. let me know. :blossom:

I click send and my eyes widen. Oh, fuck.

Hanaa: …
Hanaa: Nell? You okay there

How the fuck. How the. How the fuck! Inside I scream. Red splatters across my cheeks and heat rushes in my core. At least I’m no longer cold.

Nell: oh ripred
Hanaa: Sweetie...
Hanaa: you know her moms a hoe right?
Nell: a hoe with nice hair. i imagine.
Hanaa: the apple im sure doesnt fall far from the tree
Nell: i'm talking about stroganoff
Hanaa: and im taking about Eos
Nell: who
Nell: oh eos
Nell: her
Hanaa: you know
Hanaa: the girl you meant to message
Nell:i almost died today hanaa. leave me alone.
Nell: :sadstronaut:
Hanaa: but you didnt?
Hanaa: thats good?
Nell: yeah. okay. thanks for this, i think.
Nell: please dont tell anyone
Hanaa: ill do what i please Nell. :kissing_heart: :kissing_heart:
Hanaa: you should too. I hope you get to see Eos again.

I put my wrist down. I am exhausted. A combination of texting and emotions.

I look over to Dusty, Sky. It’s only now that I realize where we are: on top of the doorway into the arena. I don’t know how they got me up here, two scrawny things, but they did. Somehow I have to repay them. For getting me safely here, from unconscious way over there. My eyes flick toward the ice shelf, and in that split second I hear her call. But I shake my head and slide over to the girls. I have more to do. She said so herself.

“Ghost stories and stargazing?” I elbow Sky and squish up next to Dusty. Tonight I will entertain. Tonight I will laugh. Tonight I will distract them just as much as I distract myself.




ooc: open for everyone in cable bridge day 2 for!! joint star-gazing!!
title is taken from bobby by gfoty