post-mortem | unsent letters to carter laws

[ retro gm ] angel lí ✨
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post-mortem | unsent letters to carter laws Jul 1, 2019 20:56:02 GMT -5

Post by [ retro gm ] angel lí ✨ on Jul 1, 2019 20:56:02 GMT -5

C A R T E R ~~!!!!!~~

hey,

remember me?

it's paisley. paisley hart. we met in the capitol when we were kids, remember? on the big trip. i had curly blonde hair, i still do. but i don't blame you if you don't remember. i saw you in the fog and the snow and i thought 'i've seen that boy in my dreams before' and i said 'i know you' and i told you about my dreams. we were in a statue garden - in my dreams, and there. remember?

i don't blame you if you don't. anyway, hi. i hope you're okay. i watched you on tv. watched you die. i was rooting for you. don't tell poppy - that's my sister - but i cried a little when you went. you were kinda a link to her. and then you died, like her.

at least you came back.

sorry, this is a bit random. i just wanted to check up on you. see if you were... okay. you know, after dying. what was that like, coming back? that's invasive, isn't it, sorry. poppy tells me not to ask invasive questions, says it's rude. i'm working on it. i'm working on a lot of things.

i don't even know why i'm writing this, you're not even gonna read thi

hi, i'm back, sorry. fell asleep. i guess i should finish up here. how are you?

i hope you're okay. but it's okay if you're not okay. i'm not okay.

not ever.
- p.

“and men said that the blood of the stars flowed in her veins.”

[ retro gm ] angel lí ✨
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post-mortem | unsent letters to carter laws Jul 1, 2019 21:03:46 GMT -5

Post by [ retro gm ] angel lí ✨ on Jul 1, 2019 21:03:46 GMT -5

CARTER!

hey,

its me again! girl from your dreams... or... rather... mine, i guess! did we ever establish if you dreamed of me, too? i can't remember. i'm sorry.

look i know i said that i wasn't going to ask invasive questions but i just want to know if you saw any ghosts or spirits or anything when you died? i just need to know if i die, i'll see my sister. this is a really important question okay?

also, could you visit the living? like did you go anywhere? the problem with having one sister alive and one sister dead is that i'm really torn between the two and i just gotta make sure i'm doing the right thing by staying alive. pop says i'm gonna end up dead in a ditch if i carry on the way i am but maybe that wouldn't be so bad?

i'd get to see her again.

aw shit, i'm crying now.

by the way - did you actually die, die? or was it all a trick on camera? you can tell me, i promise i won't tell anyone else. scouts honour or whatever they say!

(what the fuck is a scout anyway?)

- p.

“and men said that the blood of the stars flowed in her veins.”

[ retro gm ] angel lí ✨
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post-mortem | unsent letters to carter laws Jul 1, 2019 21:17:23 GMT -5

Post by [ retro gm ] angel lí ✨ on Jul 1, 2019 21:17:23 GMT -5

C A R T E R !!!!!!!!!!!!

hey,

~~look carter shit is gettin real bad real fast i just really really really really need to know if~~

shit sorry poppy found me and i yelled at her. never-mind what i said. what's district twelve like? is it really a shithole like everyone says? five is an absolute dump, if not a well-lit one. can't get away with nothin' here, unless you know the right places to go. pop said we could get a place of our own one day. i'm not sure i want to. living at mom's is pretty shit but it's not the same, moving into an apartment and pretending like sam wasn't supposed to be there. waiting to be reaped, just like she was, maybe they'll get me when i'm 18 too. i don't fucking know.

why'd she have to go and get herself killed?

fuck!!!!!!! she fucking ruined everything!!!!!!

i don't mean that, idk. maybe i do. were your siblings mad when you died? shit - my bad, i forgot to ask. do you even have siblings? apart from mitchell, i mean.

at least you came back.

i think sam woulda killed herself for that reece lachance boy, though. she basically did. i've never talked about it before but i think i woulda killed him, too, if he came out alive. i dreamed about killing pillar for so many months but reece? i don't know. i know the capitol tv hosts said she loved him and whatever but we're her family yknow? family comes first. boys second.

maybe i could have liked him, i'll never know. she seemed to care about him an awful lot and he to her. whatever. it's not like they both could have won. as far as i'm concerned he got her killed - she would have done so much better on her own. i don't get it, carter. why throw away us for a stupid boy?

you like smoking, carter laws? i need a cigarette.

see ya later,

- p.

“and men said that the blood of the stars flowed in her veins.”

[ retro gm ] angel lí ✨
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post-mortem | unsent letters to carter laws Jul 3, 2019 20:01:57 GMT -5

Post by [ retro gm ] angel lí ✨ on Jul 3, 2019 20:01:57 GMT -5

carter ;

hey,

it's my birthday today. i'm fifteen years old and still a monumental fuck-up, smack-bang in the middle of reaping age so god help us all. consider this your invitation to my party. i know you won't turn up because you'll never get this letter, and even if you did, how would you make it all the way here?

i got a new hairbrush and some plaid pants, outgrew my old ones. i've grown 3 inches since last year. 3!!! poppy's still the same height though. she's seventeen now - god i hope she gets out of the reaping alive. i don't know what the fuck i'd do without her.

~~every time i look in the mirror, i see sam.~~

anyway, rsvp if you can. i'll save you a song and a dance tonight.

- p.

Last Edit: Jul 3, 2019 20:03:02 GMT -5 by [ retro gm ] angel lí ✨

“and men said that the blood of the stars flowed in her veins.”

[ retro gm ] angel lí ✨
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post-mortem | unsent letters to carter laws Jan 1, 2020 4:02:41 GMT -5

Post by [ retro gm ] angel lí ✨ on Jan 1, 2020 4:02:41 GMT -5

CARTER ,

hey carter,

it's me. sorry it's been a while. just got distracted with life and trying not to kill myself, you know? got in a fist fight with someone, it was gnarly. blood nose, nothing's broken tho. i'm fine now.

i saw you on the television a few nights ago, just a snippet. you're so old now. i suppose i am too. tho poppy says i'm still a dumb kid, and she's right about that. you look sad, carter. i'm sorry that you're sad.

i saw you, and i thought a lot about how you fucking died and yet you're still around, kicking about, still breathing. and i kind of admire that. fuck knows how you do it, dying's the easy bit isn't it? but keeping on, after that. fuck, carter. i just saw your eyes and i started crying because you looked so fucking sad and im sorry. even tho you won't ever get this letter i just wanted to write down and let u know that thinking about your strength keeps me breathing, too. not that you'll ever know.

i'm cheering you on. i hope that cheers you up, just the slightest. even if it doesn't, i don't blame you. just wanted my idea of you to know that your strength makes me a little bit stronger too. if you can do it, fuck. my piece of shit self can at least try.

anyway, yeah. til next time.

- p.