Afraid to go [Has day 4]
Nov 8, 2019 15:52:05 GMT -5
Post by Cato on Nov 8, 2019 15:52:05 GMT -5
Ubbe Hammerfell
cause you search for years
but you lose everything you find
It's weird. I always thought it would hurt, but my body is numb, and my mind is stuck in a war. All I know is how to fight. I've never been one to let anyone down, but I feel like I've let everyone I know down. My world is falling apart, and it brings me to my knees. I'm at the mercy of those around me. All I wanted from this was to make my family proud. To live to the Hammerfell legacy, but I have failed. I've failed in so many ways. I'm a disgrace to my family, and it hurts. I thought I would gain the world, but all in all, I've simply lost my soul. I was so caught up in trying to bring home a crown, that I watched the world stumble away. This isn't my true desire, but now I can't fix it. Even with the blood trickling down my neck, I know the end is near. It's hard to hold my head up, and it's hard to focus. A loud roaring echoes through my ears, and I can't even bring myself to talk.
They're running away probably to mourn the loss of their own, but at this moment, I'm trapped within the walls of this place. Soon I'll be free. Soon I'll run away and fly with the rest of my family, but what's the purpose? I used this girl as a shield, but I'm the one that's not making it out of here. Where did I go wrong? What mistakes have I made? I thought I was doing well, but at the end of the day, I haven't succeeding. I'm so afraid of dying alone. Of letting everyone down, and now I have no other options. I have to let myself go, but it's hard cause I don't want to become another forgotten face. I wanted the honor and glory, but in return I got nothing. I fought for it, but now I fade into nothingness. That's all it earned me. So many of my family has volunteered for this, and they've all died. I wish it was different. I wish I had the chance to get the honor I deserve, but instead I will rot as I become a dead man.
I try to look around, and I see her kneeling at my side. I don't know what to say to her or the other two still standing here. I wanted to make it further. I wanted them to shield me. Looks like they're getting the last laugh. Nothing makes sense, and I just want them to know that she's a wonderful person. I'd never mention it to her face because it's not who I am, but I enjoyed the company despite wandering on my own so many times. I can't bring myself to speak. It's hard, and I just have to get something out. I want to make sure that I'm not alone. That they're still here. I want to make sure they stick together through it all. I muster up as much strength as I possibly can, and I force myself to look at them, but the world is spinning and I am fading. I have to make it quick, so I do what I can while stumbling along. "Where to? I'll be fine. I can make it. We have to stick together."
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