devils above — penelope ; day seven

I do not sleep that night — but my body flows in and out of consciousness. Small blinks of light, and then darkness. I always find my way back to that space, in the cold, numb and alone and lost. The pain never leaves me, but the fear does. In waves.

Until I realize that I am still holding on, still breathing — that this is another impossible thing that I have endured. I am a girl without hands, with only one leg; a ballerina in a box that has been pushed from the shelf. highest And I am shattered, but I still dance. I have to.

The sky is dark and starless when I try to put myself back together, rising slightly from the snow and trying to grab onto something sturdy — but all I have is myself, and I have to be content with that. There is no easy way for me to survive this.

My limbs are torn and bladed, broken things made to destroy — and my body moves slowly and clumsily, but surely. Years of training have granted me balance, and crippled as I am, I still try to tap into that knowledge. Enough so that I am standing, eventually.

Enough so that I am that much closer
to the faces in the sky.

And he's there, looking down on me. And his face is emotionless, more chilling than the wind. I do not break his gaze, my silver haired prince. I wished him death, and he wished it onto me. But luck chose me — it spared me from this one thing.

My enemy is dead.

My last ally is gone.

I cry because I am allowed to fall apart — because he has faded from the sky, and my wounds are on fire, and the world is frozen. Nothing makes sense, not here, and I just want to go home. Everything I have endured has been to go home.

Everything I have done — to go home.

I made that promise, to my lover and my gods, and I will see it through. Even if they take every last piece of me, they won't steal my life. I am not above crawling to the crown, taking it between my teeth and claiming what is mine. I will see this through. I will live up to all the expectations I placed on myself.

I will win the 83rd Annual Hunger Games.