merry ratmas, zoe ♥

i bought your soul from the devil many years ago, and now i'm the only person allowed to show you love — not because i'm a possessive tyrant, but because i'm a kind and merciful king who just so happens to not like sharing! ^^ it's called besties for life, not besties for a hot minute.

but seriously, you are so deserving of love — whether it be from me or anyone else. your talent needs no introduction, your kindness could warm even darren's black heart, and you put so much passion into everything you do. (you're my person)al ray of sunshine.

i'm so proud of you; outside of the site and within it. i don't mean to be a drunk girl in the club restroom right now, but the woman you are today... is beautiful. you are so accomplished, and so steady, and you never back down from anything.

you might take breaks, but that's a classic move in pokemon. you store energy — and then you go for the kill. you are incredible. and i could wax poetic about that for hours, for days, but you already know how much i care about you. and you should already know how special you are.

but for my entire career on the site, if that's what we're calling this wild experience, you have been a constant. first someone i treated like an idol, then a friend, and now family. you are so much more than just my twin; and our characters, our plots, are just as precious to me

... even if sometimes our plots stayed in our heads ^^;

i can't make tables, and all my FCs are already yours, and my poetry can't ensnare you — but i'd love to take you on a trip down memory lane. all the way to now ♥

---

The world is warm, and bright — and nothing hurts. There is a space on the wall where a stocking used to hang, but Bette glances over it. A flutter of eyelashes and a smile that's tight at the edges. She holds herself together to the point of breaking.

But today is a special day, one of forgiveness and forgetting — and so she forgets that Tiger Chautin is dead, and she forgives herself for it. Candee is on the move, adjusting decorations and making sure that everyone has their first gift to open, and Artemis is already tearing at the paper when the former turns her back.

Bette drinks in the moment, numbs the feelings of loss and anxiety in her head — and she tells herself not to think of the things she no longer has, but the ones that will be with her forever. Her family is a photograph, burnt at the edges. But they're smiling in the frame, and they're holding each other, and it's okay.

It's going to be okay.

"Candee, can you come sit with me?"

She grabs a thing that cannot be still, and she asks it to change.

"You, too. Come here, Artemis."

She tries to tame a wild thing, and she asks it to be gentle.

And Bette holds them close, ignoring all the presents and the treats. "I just want to enjoy this moment." They don't look up at the wall, or the bareness under the tree, but they still cry. They are still warm, and they are still whole.

"I love you both. Always."

---

Pyrite Shore is beautiful, and strong, and good — and her heart belongs to someone else. Addison nearly chokes on the tension in the air, feels her skin boil at how easily her peers glide through the party. Like nothing is wrong. Like they don't feel the same agony that she does.

She sees them together, and it hurts. It has always been a knife in her chest. From that first day, when they were children, fighting over crayons and then fighting together — she has loved Pyrite Shore, and Pyrite Shore has never felt the same for her.

And it's not that she's jealous, she simply knows that she loves the girl more — and it's not fair. There is no challenge, no possible way that Kellan Fray could ever match what she feels for Pyrite. She has loved her for years, known her for a lifetime.

How she likes her tea, what to say when she's punching something she shouldn't, how to hold her without making her feel small. Addison knows these things, but she doesn't know what it means to be loved by her. To be held, and treasured, and more than just a constant that never changes.

Kellan does.

She told herself that she wouldn't show up. That today she would break the chain, flip the script.

But she stands there, and she kisses Pyrite's cheek and shakes Kellan's hand, and she pretends. She does what she has always done. And she acts like it is not killing her, like she doesn't want to take Pyrite's face in her hands and beg her to look at her.

To see the truth.

She only smiles, kisses her friend's cheek — "It's a wonderful party.
Thank you for having me."

"Well, obviously.
I love you, Addison."

It's a deep cut.

She lets it bleed.

---

She is learning to be open.

Like the ocean, in waves — violent and beautiful and strange. She tries not to run these days; she places her feet in the sand and pretends like it is strong enough to hold her down. Like she isn't afraid, always. Of herself and everyone around her.

Perdita Leto is a coward, and a hypocrite — but she wants to be better, and she wants to be kinder. She wants to forgive. She holds Brentley close that morning, kisses his neck and refuses to lose herself in the silence. "Come with me. I want to go."

And she does, she has always wanted to go — but now she moves ahead, her hand is his, and they do not move backwards. He's nervous, and somehow, she isn't. She blames it on the adrenaline. This door isn't familiar, but the scent is. The laughter. She remembers all of it, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it.

Artemus greets her, shouts to their parents and nearly spits out his drink — and then there is a pause, caution towards to the boy at her side. But then there is peace, and love, and healing. A bridge between two places at war.

And when she comes face to face with Calypso, with her sister, with the root of all her pain — she severs it, and she lets it fall. For a girl with so many words, so many excuses, for once she is silent. She is calm.

She hugs her sister, without blame, and she stays that way for a long moment.

"I missed you, Caly.
Merry Ratmas."

---

to be continued ♥

also expect more gifts in your DMs soon!!