livia kious / d4 / bio resub / fin

My uncle has a shop down by the shore. The wood is white and stained from age, the porch has a blue rocking chair, and the hand-painted open sign knocks against the door in the breeze. There a thousand shops down by the shore, so his is nothing special, but it’s where I spend most of my time. You can usually find me behind the register, my feet kicked up on the table. I’m not the best cashier, but my uncle doesn’t want to pay an employee, so here I am.

Sometimes I run stock, but not often. I get my numbers all mixed up and can’t figure out which products go where. I had the same problem in school, when I went. I would struggle over math problems for hours until I eventually gave up and bombed whatever homework I was doing. My grades were shit, but I was going to drop out anyway. I gave my uncle the excuse that I could work more in the shop. He didn’t mind.

I used to have a real family. Nuclear. Mom, dad, sister, everything. I think I must have been happy then, but I don’t remember. It was so long ago. I do remember actually caring about things then, like the sunset and the fish in the shore and the people around me. It’s easy to care about things when people care about you.

My mom went first. She was insane. Like, certifiably a psycho. I feel bad saying it, but it’s the truth. She wasn’t always like that, but then she was, and there was nothing any of us could do about it. My dad had her committed. I don’t know if it was against her will or whatever, but at that point I don’t even know if she had a choice. I haven’t seen her since. Sometimes I want to visit, but I feel too guilty about never visiting her. So I just don’t.

My sister left next. I was twelve when she did. She was ten years older than me, so we weren’t super close, but I liked having her around. She got married when she was 18, and her wife was nice too. They came by as often as they could, but they were adults with their own lives, they couldn’t just drop everything whenever I wanted to see them. Besides, they were up to things I had no idea about. The day after they disappeared, the Keepers came by and told us they’d been involved in anti-Capitol activities. Rebellion things. Scary shit.

After that, my dad left. He dropped me off at my uncle’s house on my thirteenth birthday and fucked off to who knows where. That was that. My entire family was gone and then it was just me. My uncle had never married, and he didn’t have any kids, and frankly, he didn’t really want to take care of me. He did his best, but it was obvious that he didn’t care.

I learned to take care of myself. I wasn’t very good at it, but I kept myself alive, didn’t I? Taking care of yourself is hard work, so I just layed around on the couch after. I never did anything else. I had no hobbies, and I still don’t. My uncle made me start working in the shop a few months after I moved in, but even then, it’s easy. I punch numbers into a register and I do my best to count money.

I should go visit my mother. I don’t know if anybody ever has. She probably doesn’t even know what happened to my sister, or that my dad ditched me and hasn’t called since. She’s all alone, just like I am. I’m never going to amount to anything here, some lazy girl perched behind a register, going through the motions of everyday life, but I don’t know how to change. Maybe I’ll never learn.