you should be sad [d11 train]

This was the worst outcome you could have imagined. You and your sister, blood that ran through both of your bodies, about to be spilt for the capitols enjoyment. You knew that there was a good chance of this happening, but you did not expect it to happen so soon.

Maybe you had Uncle Vasco to blame. His anger towards the capitol was outwardly shown a couple moons ago, and maybe some higher power had finally found a way to get retribution to get their message across. The capitol would spare no one when it came to getting what they were owed, and unfortunately, it looked like the blood of Izar’s was what they wanted to bathe in.

It made you sick to your stomach.

But it didn’t turn too much after leaving the justice building, because you had already left your body. You had a feeling that you would not survive this, so it was easier to act like you were dead already rather than hold onto anything that could save your life. You had spent so much time being afraid of your own shadow, that you didn’t know what it was like to interact with anyone that wasn’t a part of your family. But now you had Sarina with you, and even though there was such a slim chance for both of you, there was still a chance.

So maybe you just had to live enough to see Sarina to the end.

---

The train you were escorted into felt cold. There were so many fancy things that you felt if you touched anything you would be accused of stealing. Each escort was different, that is what you were told, but you didn’t know what to make of this one. There was plenty of food and drink placed around the cart, but none of it looked appetizing. The sour taste in your mouth was more than enough to distract you from indulging in whatever they wanted from you.

The difference was, you knew what they wanted from you. A knife in your eye, a blade through your heart, your skin flayed from your skin and placed on a mantel as a trophy for some sick fuck to pleasure himself too. You hated this world you lived in, but you did not know how to voice that, you were always raised to be the kind one. You never held any ill will in your body, and when someone would gift it to you, you found ways to politely decline and hand it back. A gift you did not want, and it only got you so far.

You hoped your death would happen quickly. You did not deserve to suffer. None of the people reaped did, but they were about to learn quickly that suffering was an injustice that everyone was inflicted with. The only way around it was to accept it and make something of it. Maybe that was too much for you to handle. Your soft nature would probably be eaten alive in the arena, picked out from someone’s teeth like a blackberry seed that lodged itself between the molars of their blood-stained mouth.

You always thought the worst of the world. It kept you sane enough to persevere the worst of times. Like Gabe being killed almost 8 years ago, or losing Salome to the games. You were young when both of those things happened, but you could still remember the days you spent with both of them. You were young, but still so full of life. It had been years since an Izar had been called, and maybe karma was finally finding its way through the fog cast over it. One thing was certain though.

Karma wasn’t fucking around here.

---

You sat on one of the couches towards the back of the dining cart, you still had no clue how Sarina was comprehending any of this. You were actually scared but wondered if Sarina was terrified. You made a spectacle at the reaping, and you wondered if you were going to be punished for that in the arena. Would they send a mutt to take your hand clean off, would they drop a boulder on it? Kill Sarina in front of you? Kill you? You didn’t know. 

You felt like a target, one that would explode if anything came in contact with it. You had to keep Sarina safe more than anything else. You could not align with her, and if it came down to it, you knew your life would have the be sacrificed so she could go on. All of this was weighing on your tired heart, but you continued focus on what was going on now. You waited for Sarina to join you, so maybe there could be a parlay of sorts.

A discussion of how you were going to die.