out of my blue skies [phi]

You don’t even know where to begin at this point. Time felt like it wasn’t moving here, and it was starting to become absolutely uncomfortable. You wondered what Sarina might have been up too here, seeing as you both didn’t see each other too often. Maybe she was just trying to keep her space from you, or maybe you scared her off with unwillingness to be attached to her hip. At the end of the day, you were separate entities. There was no point trying to be one titan when you could have spilt and be multiple gods after all. It was all in the power of being safe. That is what you told yourself as you tried to keep yourself at a distance.  You would always love her, but love comes in different forms, and one of them was safety.

Safety was always going to be the name of game.

It pained you to say such a thing, but you found ways to ignore the world around you. Or at least the feelings that you felt about the whole situation. Being here was not something you wanted, but it was already done. There was no chance at running, no degree of separation from death that could be avoided. You were destined to die here and you could feel that with each passing minute. A click on the clock meant another second closer to death.  His hands would clasp around your throat, stick its tongue down it, slither down to your heart and eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. 

It was nauseating really.

But you found ways to cope with it, a very generous studio was where you found yourself in. You told the avoxes that you needed a moment to just vent, and the only way you could do that was by creating something with your hands. You asked for paint and brushes and they delivered. Something that you didn’t expect.  You had heard stories from the victors that you could literally ask for anything in the capitol and it can be arranged. This was your first taste of it. They even brought paper with them, which impressed you. The feel of it was luxurious to say the least, but you had a much bigger canvas in mind. The capitol wouldn’t mind right? After all, you were going to give up your life for them, the least they could do was let them deface the walls they let you walk in. You pressed a couple buttons in the studio you had occupied and all of the sudden, a scene from the first hunger games had appeared in front of you. You watched Uxue Izar move through the commotion and gracefully try to survive the situation she had been put in. You froze it at the perfect moment, pulling out the brush and dipping it into some of the paint that you had been given. 

It was hard painting realistic things, but you had always loved a challenge, and with a couple of beginning strokes, you realized that you still had a lot of talent in your hands. Maybe they would celebrate the things you created here, because you had no intention of not painting while you were here. After all, it was the one thing that brought you joy even in the chaos.