The Sweet Escape [River Oneshot]

A knife. I held the shining blade in my hand as I sat in the middle of one of the sparring mats in the nearly empty training center late that night. Change was a necessary thing sometimes, and sure, I'd already made the biggest change of my life- volunteering for the Eighty-Fourth Hunger Games. Although, I felt that some minor changes were necessary at this point, too.

I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep inhale through my nose. Then, a big exhale followed. I opened my eyes again. The knife in one hand and a large amount of my long hair in the other, I used the blade to cut into the locks upon my head, causing them to fall to the floor. As I cut more and more of my hair in this crude fashion, it fell to the floor around me. In this moment, I felt lighter, physically and emotionally.

As each strand of hair collapsed to the surface beneath me, I felt some of the things I had hated about my life leaving along with it. The struggles and abusiveness of my family- I could forget it now. I was never going back to them. The lack of friendships I had back in District Nine? They didn't matter anymore. All those weights that I wanted off of my shoulders were falling away as I cut away my hair. Sure, the memories of those things wouldn't be gone, but I didn't have to deal with them anymore. They were problems at home, and I was never going home.

Once I had finished cutting my hair with the knife, I stood up, placed the blade where I'd once been sitting, right in the middle of the ring of hair that now rested upon the sparring mat I'd decided to do all of this while sitting on. I wasn't going to be cleaning up my mess. No, cleaning up messes made by the tributes was the job of the Capitol, both in here, and in the arena. I wasn't responsible for what I left behind anymore.

Walking away from what I'd just done, I headed to the elevator and back up to the ninth floor where I was assigned to be staying. It was likely that Xavier was already asleep when I got up there, as I didn't see him while I passed through the common area of out floor. Making my way to the room where I was staying, I opened the door, entered, and closed it gently behind me. Normally I'd have made a point to slam the door late at night and wake up other people, but for some reason, I actually felt like being polite just this once.

I took a shower, got dressed into some silk pajamas that had been provided for me by the avoxes, and lied down on the bed. As my head sunk into the pillow and my body into the mattress, I took another one of those deep inhales and exhales that I'd done before.

This was the calm before the storm.