84th Bloodbath

You had always been a wallflower. You blended in seamlessly in most situations, and most people ignored the fact that you were in the room because you always found a way to keep to yourself. You knew you could have shook things up by making a statement, but that wasn’t necessary when you were an Izar. Back home, your uncle was the mayor, which meant that you were recognized more than you wanted to be. You always had the softest demeanor of the family, which meant that when you were out in public, it took people recognizing the necklace around your neck to actually notice you were an Izar. You were okay with this, because it kept most people off of your back.

You wished that applied here, but you had been told by many people in the capitol that you remind them of past tributes. You had the same eyes, mouth, nose, lips, hair, and whatever else they wanted to compare you to. You were not Salome, or Gabriel, or Benat, or any other tribute that had been pulled from your blood. You were just a boy that wanted to blend into a canvas more than you wanted to be in the spotlight. However, you didn’t have much of a choice here. You would be thrusted into a spotlight with a bomb tied to your back and you were expected to smile. Light your face up for the cameras because at the end of the day, the capitol could have done whatever they wanted to you now. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, they owned you.

And your entire family.

---

Maybe reflection wasn’t the best thing to do here when you were facing your imminent death. Sarina would have told you to look towards the sky instead of the ground, but you had always been the more realistic one. There was never a point in being an idealist in a district like Eleven. And you felt the same way about here as well. You either did what you were told, or you were punished. There was no in between, that was made very clear from the get go. So you followed the rules, because you had never been known as a rule breaker (or a follower either if you were being honest with yourself) but with a sour taste in your mouth.

Vasco would have been disappointed in you.

Or maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he would just be happy that you were surviving. A six in your private training session was nothing to be upset over. Average was better than below, but not as good as above. However, out of the lower districts, you did have one of the higher scores, which meant that the game makers were probably bored throughout the rest of the training sessions until that point. You didn’t bat an eyelash at the thought. You simply retreated to your room and tried to block out the rest of the noise for the night.

You painted a portrait of yourself that morning and decided that it wasn’t the exact same as you pictured yourself. Sure, it might have been a little dishonest, but since you had come here, you felt like there was nothing that was tying you down to yourself. You felt like you were out of body, which is probably why you tried to paint a self portrait when you knew that no one would probably give a shit. At the end of the day, it would have been tossed in the trash like everything else that was left behind when a new batch of tributes came through the capitol. That, or it would be auctioned off to the highest bidder that actually gave a shit about the Izar’s and what they did here. You knew that there had to be someone that had cared here in the capitol. You wondered if you were ever going to find them. Probably not, seeing as you were told that bloodbath was right around the corner, and for them to let you roam around the capitol would never happen. Not as long as there was a chance that someone could run off and get into something they had no business getting into.

You went to sleep not to long after, leaving the painting to dry overnight.

---

That morning you picked it up and realized that there might be someone that would appreciate it. You remembered your interaction with the girl from twelve that looked at you like you were a ghost from her life. You knew it was possible to share similar features with another person, but you thought it was unlikely. You did look like your sister though, and like all of your relatives. Its why you had such a strong following here. People saw you and went wild. You hated it more than you wanted to admit. But that’s because you enjoyed the quiet. You could get lost in things for hours if it did not involve making lots of noise. Sleeping, painting, even just sitting and listening to other people. All of it made you focus more and look at the details. Maybe that is why you couldn’t make this painting really come to life.

It didn’t stop you from sneaking out of your suite and taking it one floor up. You stopped at the door of the district twelve suite and wrote a note on a separate sheet of paper. You addressed it to Juliet, placing it above your painting and sliding it under the door. You did not wait to see if anyone would come to the door to grab it, instead, you went straight back to the elevator and decided to spend the rest of the morning looking out at the sunrise. After all, it might be the last one you see.

No one stopped you, which was surprising, seeing as you had everything at your disposal to do anything you wanted. However, you accepted your fate as soon as you were reaped, so instead of causing a scene, you just walked onto the roof and sat amongst the flowers as you watched the sun come up over the horizon.

You would miss this.

---

You made your way back down to find Marsha ready to put you in your uniform, a weird neon color pattern that you were not expecting to see. You took a deep breath as you let them do whatever they needed to do. There was no point in fussing with it, because at the end of the day, you did not have a choice. It was best to accept that and just move on. You would be dead soon enough? Right? As dark as it was, it was a fate that you had to expect at this point. There was no other outcome besides winning, and you were a realist. Which meant you didn’t like your own chances.

You were pushed through the building and paraded all the way down to the tubes they had put you in to unload you into the arena. Marsha had looked at you with a small smile knowing that there was a sort of weird understanding between you two. They did care about you, which did amaze you in a way. You did not hug them, or wish them well, or anything like that. Instead you shared a small smile as they placed you into the tube with a very light push. It was like you were both accepting what was going to happen at the end of the day.

But you couldn’t cry over it anymore now could you?

---

You were raised into the arena and the first thing you noticed was the humidity. It was stark, compared to what you knew of such a thing from back home. You could barely breath for the first couple of seconds, however, your body adjusted, and after a couple moments, you felt like could at least handle it. Your eyes darted around to find your allies here. Eloise, Wally, and Abs, one of which you shared a bit of a deeper connection with. They were your anchors at this point. You wanted to wish the best for Sarina, but you wanted her to go home. You knew that the only way you could do that is if you kept your distance. Sure, it might have seemed like you did not care about her, but at the end of the day, if you loved something it was always best to let it go. You loved the idea of Sarina being able to win the hunger games, so it was best to let your relationship go until you both crossed paths again.

That’s if you both made it that far.

You watched as the timer counted down from sixty, and you could feel your heart beat. It beat for many things.

10…

Vasco and his ability to love.

9…

The memory of Gabriel giving you that paint pot before he went into the games.

8…

The moment both you and Sarina were reaped.

7…

Meeting new people that you wished well.

6…

Your score.

5…

The amount of chances you wish you had to make it out of here alive.

4…

So much wasted time and tears over the fear of dying.

3…

Accepting it as fate and getting ready to do what you could to live.

2…

The thought of actually living.

1…

And the realization that you are probably gonna die here.

The gong sounds and everyone begins to run off the pedestals.

And you follow suit.