we ter-might have a problem, here // woodsmen vs mutts
Mar 9, 2020 17:16:24 GMT -5
Post by umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars] on Mar 9, 2020 17:16:24 GMT -5
[presto][/presto]
Silas realized with a sense of malice that this wasn't over yet, that it wasn't even close. He ground his teeth, his knee screaming in pain, his stomach churned and flipped upside down, the light blinding to his hollow eyes, spindly fingers exuding his weakness by shaking against his will as he clutched the axe in his hand. He was not himself, then. He'd lost himself so quickly, overtaken by the withdrawal, that all at once he wished he had more drugs and that he'd never touched them in the first place.
If he'd been himself, this would've been over by now. The spiders would've been reduced to over-sized torsos for him to watch dry out in the beaming sun. Hang on the wall like those creepy people who collected dead butterflies and beetles, put them on display as trophies so that when people asked he could say, Yeah, I fucking killed them.
But he wasn't himself and he willed that to change. He willed himself to get over it: mind over matter, them or me, live or die. He felt something solid lodged in his throat and forced himself to swallow it down. Not now.
Not again.
Not ever.
The sheen of sweat on his forehead glistened and he smiled despite the physical limitations put against him. He did not fear death. That was what made him strong. Just because he wasn't ready to die yet didn't make him afraid. He was many things: selfish, manic, maybe even brave, but he wasn't afraid. He'd seen worse, lived through worse, done worse, and all for less. Here, now, this was for something. For a future. For a chance he'd never gotten to option to have before.
To maybe, some day, find out how to feel again.
There was a part of him, though, that was resistant to that idea. If he felt, it wouldn't always be good. He pictured it as a piece of himself that he had been living apart from. It still felt everything he was supposed to feel, but it wasn't there to show him. Feeling again meant reuniting himself with that separated piece, and if that was true, then what if it meant feeling all of the things he'd been repressing this entire time?
He bit his bottom lip; he'd feel a lot worse before this was over so he had decided to just breathe through the pain of his knee because it was only an excuse for more pain to come his way. He was strong. He was angry.
And he wasn't fucking done.
[ silas attacks eenie, axe ]
SrItWriOD_axe
[ 11051 -- Shallow Cut on Left Bicep -- 3.5 damage ]
axeSrItWriOD_axe
[ 11051 -- Shallow Cut on Left Bicep -- 3.5 damage ]