Fractured humanity [Amberly/Sarina]

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They'll either want to kill you, kiss you, or be you.

Fractured humanity [Amberly/Sarina] Mar 19, 2020 18:02:15 GMT -5

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Post by * on Mar 19, 2020 18:02:15 GMT -5

"Soon enough you'll be on your own
Steady and straight
And if they drag you through the mud
It doesn't change what's in your blood"

~
“Sarina -” The words fell from my lips in a hushed tone as we left their bodies and our ally behind. River heeded my warning and I wouldn’t hesitate to have launched another arrow at her without remorse. She may have acted out of something sympathetic towards her district, but she completely disregarded that she went after Sarina’s district partner and more importantly, her brother. The cowardice in her heart to just completely rid him of one more sunset and one more anthem was stolen.

I hated her.

I couldn’t care less how she died at this point except for me wanting to be the one to take her down. Alfonso didn’t deserve that and there was nothing I could do to stop her. If only that tribute hadn’t pierced my stomach with the sword. If only I had been faster to dodge it, I could have stood up to her and kept her from killing him.

“Sarina, I’m sorry about your brother. I tried to stop River.” It was an awful start to an apology, but it wouldn’t matter now. I apologized to Alfonso too before we left him behind with Xavier to be taken back to their homes. My words fell on dead ears that couldn’t accept or deny my heart’s somber mess.

After a while, I gripped my stomach and doubled over. “I can’t keep going, Sarina.” I leaned against a pineapple tree for stability and glanced up at the tree's treasures. “I was so excited to be here. Now I could care less.”

~

lyrics: "Be still" by The Killers
table by kaplan

Last Edit: Mar 19, 2020 19:03:26 GMT -5 by *

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Fractured humanity [Amberly/Sarina] Mar 19, 2020 21:33:24 GMT -5

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Post by fireflyz on Mar 19, 2020 21:33:24 GMT -5

"All is lost again
But I'm not giving in
I will not bow
I will not break"

~
Her footsteps were shaky, and she could barely feel the earth beneath her as she left the carnage behind, some part of her soul reaching outside of her body to find where Alfonso's had gone. She wanted to disappear. She wanted to crumble away into dust, drift on the wind until it took her somewhere far, far away. Living in a world without Alfonso was inevitable at this point, but Sarina wasn't sure that she wanted to live at all if she hadn't done enough to stop it.

"Sarina," Amberly's voice reached her ears again, softer this time. Sarina couldn't even feel the muscles in her neck as she rotated her head to look at the other girl, but she managed to turn nonetheless. Amberly had said quite a bit in the time since River fled, despite the gaping wound in her stomach that probably would've rendered Sarina unable to think, let alone speak. She ran her fingers across her wrist, feeling the still smooth skin and the rapid blood flow beneath it. She'd gone unscathed for days, prayed to remain untouched for as long as she could, and now she loathed herself for it. As far as I'm concerned, Amberly can have all the points she wants.

"I'm sorry about your brother," Amberly said. "I tried to stop River."

Sarina shook her head. "It's not your fault." Her throat constricted, and she tilted her head upwards as tears began streaming down her cheeks. "I'm pretty sure it's mine."

She paused for a moment, allowing the grief to seep from every part of her body and dissipate into the air like a giant cloud of fog. She had spent every night in this wretched place pretending to be brave, and in the end it resulted in more fear and suffering. She was tired of it. If Amberly realized that Sarina wasn't as strong as she had thought, so be it. She'd rather be herself than strong, anyways.

After a few minutes had passed, she wiped the tears from her face and started off again, trekking further and further into the heart of the hectare. After some time, she heard Amberly draw in a sharp breath and declare that she couldn't go on. Sarina turned to see the other girl doubled over in pain, and she quickly grabbed on to Amberly's arms to stabilize her against a nearby pineapple tree.

"Give me your bag, I'll help patch you up," Sarina said, peeling her backpack off and setting it on the ground. "You've got medical supplies, right?"

She took Amberly's bag and began rummaging through the contents. "I was so excited to be here. Now I could care less."

She followed her friend's gaze to the fruit blossoming at the top of the tree, and she couldn't hold back a small laugh.

"What would you die happy for now?" she quipped, retrieving a needle and thread from Amberly's bag and holding it close to the latter's stomach. The question was driven by genuine curiosity; she wanted to know what kept the girl from Ten going for all this time, and find a reason to go on herself.

~

lyrics: "I Will Not Bow" by Breaking Benjamin
table by kaplan

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They'll either want to kill you, kiss you, or be you.

Fractured humanity [Amberly/Sarina] Mar 20, 2020 11:44:24 GMT -5

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Post by * on Mar 20, 2020 11:44:24 GMT -5

"Soon enough you'll be on your own
Steady and straight
And if they drag you through the mud
It doesn't change what's in your blood"

~
It was like watching a movie in slow motion. As we left, Sarina's movements were jostled and slow. She seemed so distant and I could relate to that but also, I didn't know what it felt like to have a sibling that was close. In fact, my own siblings were probably already bored of watching the screen waiting for me to die. There was Haylee though who I wished wouldn't watch. She's as close to what a sibling should be and I could only imagine what torment she is going through waiting and fearing my end. I can only imagine what she felt when she watched that person impale me with her blade.

Sarina was holding it together well until I spoke about him and a puddle of tears fell like a waterfall. Even though she claimed it wasn't my fault and blamed herself, I shook my head unsure of what to say next. Instead, I stood near her and let her face her fears and sadness with maturity. My hand graced her back for a few moments, but consoling someone was never my strong suit nor was it practiced in my every day life either. It felt foreign and odd to me, but also in a way, comforting her sent a bit of comfort through me as well.

Words can't explain it but when the tears had passed and we started walking, she and I faced the world together until I couldn't move anymore. Each step felt like I was being impaled again and the bleeding had never really stopped at all. My head began to swim when she grabbed my arms and with help, moved to the ground to rest.

My chest moved deeply with each intake of breath as I glanced to the tree with wonder. "Yeah. I have supplies."

Though I didn't make a move to really retrieve them. Was there any point now? There was going to be twenty three to die in some horrible fashion and I wondered if this were my way of dying. Maybe this wound would set up an infection like they mentioned in the training center and slowly but sure I'll grow a fever and won't have to face the inevitable sharp end of the blade like everyone else?

My gaze dropped to her as she had readied the needle and thread at my stomach and I gave her a nod to let her know that I was expecting what she was about to do. A few days ago I did the same for Xavier. A gentle smile placed upon my lips brought up a conversation to distract from the now.

"What would I die happy for now? Good question. Maybe, knowing you get to go home? At least one of you deserve to go - why not you." I wince a few times with a sharp intake of breath once. "You know, I don't know how Xavier did it with his injuries. I'm such a wimp right now, but this doesn't feel good at all. Thank you, Sarina."

I pass her a concerned glance. "If it comes down to it, you make sure that whatever happens, you don't back down from a bully. You go full force. You should have no regrets in this arena from now on. Strength - isn't in muscles. It's in the ability to fight through whatever obstacles that try to stand in your way and you push through them. Right now - you are strong, but a different kind of strong."

I close my eyes and breath. I want to stay strong for my family that's long passed on, but also for Haylee who might be watching.

~

lyrics: "Be still" by The Killers
table by kaplan

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Fractured humanity [Amberly/Sarina] Mar 21, 2020 10:14:28 GMT -5

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Post by fireflyz on Mar 21, 2020 10:14:28 GMT -5

"All is lost again
But I'm not giving in
I will not bow
I will not break"

~
"Maybe knowing you get to go home?" Sarina looked up in surprise. She expected Amberly to say something about herself, or her family, but instead she chose her. "At least one of you deserve to go - why not you?"

She looked down again without responding, forcing herself to focus on the task at hand. She carefully pressed the needle against Amberly's stomach, the hairs on her neck jolting upwards when she felt the skin retracting from the pressure. You sew all the time, Sarina reassured herself. Maybe not human skin, but you do know how to sew.

Going in and out of Amberly's stomach with a needle was different from striking at someone with a sword - at least in a battle, there was distance. You couldn't feel the skin giving way as it broke, didn't feel as immensely responsible for the damage. If you screwed up - missed a step or hit the wrong spot - it would mostly hurt you.

"You know, I don't know how Xavier did it with his injuries," Amberly commented. "I'm such a wimp right now, but this doesn't feel good at all."

"Well, Xavier was a walking miracle, in a way." She finally finished crossing the stitches over the wound, glancing up at her friend's face. "This may hurt a bit," she said as she drew the needle towards her, tightening the thread and watching the edges of the wound close in on each other. Once they seemed secure, Sarina tied a knot at the end and bit off the excess thread, handing it back to Amberly. I don't think I did that right. Oh well, at least she's not bleeding out anymore.

Sarina raised to her full height once more and found herself perplexed by the concerned look Amberly was giving her. "What's wrong?"

"If it comes down to it, you make sure that whatever happens, you don't back down from a bully," the other girl said. "You go full force. You should have no regrets in this arena from now on."

Sarina turned her head, feeling another wave of grief wash over her. Easy for you to say. She had yet to fully understand the emotions that she had had for the past few days, but guilt was a prevailing feeling. Alfonso, the girl from Seven she had killed, the tribute from Eight she had attacked without a thought, the girl from Six she had faced in battle so often that she almost didn't see her as human anymore, her family in Eleven - there was so much to mourn, so many opportunities to wonder if she was doing the right thing.

"Right now - you are strong, but a different kind of strong."

Sarina faced Amberly once more, not bothering to conceal the pained look on her face. "I don't feel strong. I feel like a coward. I don't feel like I know myself anymore."

~