may your limits be unknown [Amberly solo thread]

may your limits be unknown [Amberly solo thread] Mar 26, 2020 16:22:46 GMT -5

Quote

Post by * on Mar 26, 2020 16:22:46 GMT -5

"Soon enough you'll be on your own
Steady and straight
And if they drag you through the mud
It doesn't change what's in your blood"

~
Sheer pain ripped through my stomach for a second time. This time it felt like it had completely ripped my insides apart and set it on fire. The previous spot where the stitches had started to mend and was sewn together last night was so carelessly ripped apart just an inch away with an arrow now protruding through my body. I could barely make my muscles work without wanting to fall, but I pushed myself forward just to get rid of the sight of her still body. She was easily close to being what Haylee was to me. So close to being something that I never had and I could tell that there was something between us that I didn't want to lose.

And now, she was gone.

Just -

like -

that...

My eyes began to well up the more I seemed to feel my body waver. With each passing step, it hurt to stay standing and my gaze keeps shifting behind me for fear that the crossbow would be aimed at me again. That two more arrows would find their marks and maybe, just maybe, it'll put me out of my misery.

Amberly - you have ta fight! Don't back down now. Yer my bloodline.

A voice seemed to come to me without notice and I stopped dead in my tracks. It was so quiet. So youthful and yet, so much of an echo that perhaps I only imagined the words?

"I can't do this." I bellowed. My gut was hurting so bad and the spots in front of my eyes began to decorate my entire world with the threat of shutting down for good, so I shake my head. I try to get the vision to go back to normal and instead of fighting to stay vertical, I collapse to my knees and then shift to rest part of my back against the nearest support. My chest heaves up and down and it feels like I'm going to pass out. The arrow still protrudes through my body and the more I look at it, the more my stomach churns and threatens to spew up the acids.

"Get a grip, Amberly. Come on. She'd want ya to fight." My muscles begin to scream and contract around the foreign object and then the training comes to mind. How to take care of an arrow if shot into the body. "Don't pull it out... break it... and shove it through. In. and out."

I feel for where the exit is going to be and realize the point of the arrow was already there. It had almost went clean through and the jitters that my body experiences just thinking about pushing it straight through my skin makes my fingers shake violently. The anticipated pain is already weighing heavily on my mind.

"You can do this. You don't have anyone else to lean on. You lost Xavier. You lost River. Now... it's all on you." I argue with myself, encouraging myself at the same time.

Yer strong 'cause yer an Angevin. You've made it this far. Don't ya dare give up on me now.

The phantom voice whispers out to me and I nod.

I smile.

The voice is so familiar like I've known this person my whole life. I know what I have to do. I reach for my bag, careful not to jostle the arrow and pull out the roll of gauze and with a bated breath, I bite into it as I break the edge of the arrow off before using the last of my strength to shove the arrow through the back.

A scream echoes off into the distance and I'm suddenly scared of what might be out there before I realize it was my own voice. My head tilts to the side and fall upon the flower that was given to me in the last moments of Sarina's life. She was strong and maybe she gave me her strength in that final breath?

Darkness becomes my only friend as it blankets me in a cloud of comfort.

~

lyrics: "Be still" by The Killers
table by kaplan

may your limits be unknown [Amberly solo thread] Mar 27, 2020 12:23:55 GMT -5

Quote

Post by * on Mar 27, 2020 12:23:55 GMT -5

"Soon enough you'll be on your own
Steady and straight
And if they drag you through the mud
It doesn't change what's in your blood"

~
Come on now, ya lazy goat. While yer sittin there nappin the day away, you got enemies that are lurking and flesh that needs stitchin...

"But it hurts." I whisper out, my eyes flinching to the bright finishing rays of the sunset. Sweat moisturizes my skin and sweat beads roll down my cheek, tickling it just so. My throat rumbles with indignation to the demand to get up and slowly I begin to peel my eyes open but everything feels so hard to move. I'm ready to give up. I never thought that I would rely on others so much before because I thought that's what kept me going, but it wasn't. I found that out just shortly after Xavier's death. It felt empty around me. I felt abandoned but that's nothing new. At home, I am always left out by my own family and siblings, but maybe it was different because it was someone that might have cared for me, or maybe it was the other way around.

Come on, Amberly. Ya gotta get up. Ya gotta move away from here. Yer friends are dead. All ya got is you. Yer the only one that you can rely on going forward. No more soft pillow'in for you. It's gunna be harder before it gets easier.

I blink.

My mouth feels like I've eaten cotton and desperately needing something to quench the sand and thirst in my throat. It's been so long since I've had a drink. Since I've put food on my stomach and the thought of my stomach brings everything back into reality.

"Oh shit.." My teeth bite together as the sudden onset of pain washes over me. How long had I been out? How long had I laid here bleeding out?

Better be takin care of that wound ya got there... before ya die.

My head swims trying to focus on where I am. It pounds away just below my ears and toward the back of my head. In front of me, the sun falls beneath the trees or so it seems because the glistening is almost gone and I look to my stomach to notice the saturated fabrics and strained ground beneath me. I need to help myself like Sarina helped me last night. I need a steady hand to stitch up the two gaping wounds and restitch the third that broken what was mending.

"I don't think I can, Avonlea. I'm too weak. Too tired to move." It's almost like a child talking to their mother hoping that they'd be carried off to bed. Only silence responds though. "Avonlea?"

What was a hazy view a few moments ago becomes clear as I stretch my arms in front of me and then sit up further against the support. The broken arrow sits beside me and things are just starting to come back into play. That's when I see the flower on the ground next to me, the tip of one of the petals has danced in my blood and I eagerly pick it up and hold it to my chest and my heart begins to pound.

"I'M SORRY, SARINA..." My throat burns and I try to swallow down the bile wanting to escape with the scream. "..I'm sorry."

The flower reminds me of her. It reminds me of someone that didn't deserve to die. Whose brother didn't deserve to die. Maybe I can't choose my family, but I can choose who I deem to be honored as such. It takes a few minutes to compose myself before I reach in my bag and retrieve the stitching supplies and as I feel for the wound and look to the open wound, I grimace and try to envision how Sarina had done it. It hurt the other night, but at this point, I feel numb and the first prick of the tip sent not a one pain wave through my body.

In and out.

Through and through.

My bottom lip took the blunt of the procedure and time until the front had been stitched and restitched. The back proved to be the real challenge though. I ended up working with feel rather than sight, but it took half the time.

A breath of relief came over me.

"Avonlea... where are you?" I wait, wanting to hear more of her voice sing into my ears and urge me forward, but she's gone. Like a breeze, she's moved on and the thought that she was looking over me put a sense of calm over my nerves.

"I'm doing this for you - until I die of old age." I reach for my canteen, bringing it to my lips and taste the sweet liquid.

~