adonde va la alma | sarina

She didn't even have the chance to react. She felt a slow burn in her throat, as if she had merely caught a sickness, and then she was on fire, and then she was extinguished and numb. "Fu-uugh." Her mouth mangled whatever words she had been trying to say, and once she noticed everything in front of her becoming farther away, she knew she was falling.

Her first thought on the ground was how unfair all of this was. I... want... out. Not like this. She furrowed her eyebrows indignantly and tried to bend her knees, only them to quiver and give out. No.

The person that she had been three weeks ago would balk at this new version of her, trying to stand up with an arrow in her throat and clinging onto her life in the arena. She had never taken pleasure in harming others, and at one point she had been prepared to curl up and die without even trying. But here she was now, itching to swing, realizing that she wanted to live, entertaining the idea of what it would be like if an Izar won the Games.

How foolish of her.

Her vision was beginning to blur, and the pain shooting through her arms starting to subside. Each pained breath was followed by a gurgling sound from her throat, but still she tried to inhale. She hadn't imagined that she would go out this way, kicking and screaming instead of carefully stepping out of a life she had built for herself and her loved ones. In a different future, she'd be home in Eleven, adding positive memories to her quilt instead of mementos of what she had lost. She'd be with Alfonso, and Gabe, and Tio Vasco y Emma y Yani y los primos y todos - and they would be free.

Yet, she realized, she was free; she'd be with her brothers again, and they'd stitch together a story of the living, and Alfonso would paint the sky and she'd be the mayor of a district in heaven. It wouldn't be perfect, but it would be beautiful.

A sudden sense of urgency cut through her wistfulness. Amberly. Sarina mustered what little strength she had left to speak.

"Amb.. uh.." she spluttered. She slowly wiggled her fingers in the grass to ensure that they still had feeling, before reaching up to graze the magnolia tucked behind her ear. It was still smooth and pure, unscathed from the carnage it had just witnessed. She pinched the stem and pulled it from its perch, wincing from the pain it took to outstretch the flower in Amberly's direction.

"Don't... wah..." Sarina forced out each syllable. Her eyes met her friend's, hoping that the latter would understand her plea. Don't want them to have it. It doesn't belong here. When Amberly carefully took the flower from her hand, Sarina allowed her arm to fall across her chest, and her heart lept when she felt that it was sticky with blood.

She lay in silence for a while, taking in her surroundings once more. The monster had fled. Everything was still, even just for a moment. The heat, the sun-dappled leaves, the pesky bugs - it wasn't as frightening when she no longer had anything to run from.

Her mind had quieted. She was not quite at peace, but it was as close as she would get. Listo. Her eyes slid shut and everything was dark.

∞ ∞ ∞

thank you to kap, yoya and marr for being wonderful allies. thank you, zori, for allowing me to join the big happy family. thank you, GMs, for an amazing first games. thank you, ryan, for being alfonso.
thank you, sarina, for being my baby.