i'm already gone :: larceny :: one-shot

The air churns with a chill as my brambles of brown hair sway sloppily onto my face. They are tendrils of dark brown vines dripping with the remnants of my morning shower. A soft shudder shivers down my spine as I'm all but suspended in my soaken state. I am bare before the bathroom mirror, an image of imperfection found within its frame. Scars share the space of my skin as symbols of the boy once born in death. Fluttering, my fingers float along the raised ridges of faded flesh remembering when they once ran red. I stare at myself, at this imperfect image, and I'm surprised by my state. The boy is fading fast towards something else, something unexpected.

Within the warmth of a white towel wrapped around my waist, I emerge from the bathroom in a shroud of swirling steam. The mist meanders off into the edges of the hall and towards a half drawn window. Wandering in the way of the mist, I step softly on the aged oak floors towards the common room. There I find him, encapsulated in the throes of his dreams is Ollivander. He's crumpled into the corner of a couch with his nightly book nestled firmly between the cushions and his chest. His blonde hair is striking in the shafts of the dawn's light. From this angle, he looks like him.

"A crush... on Larceny Theft."

My teeth burrow into the crevices of my cheeks as I remember Severus' shared secret. Obviously it's followed by the image of the sword skewering his heart and of the day I watched him become buried in the earth. That's how it always is, Severus' softness followed by his final song. Orion's intelligence followed by his figure falling away off the edge of the arena. I have to accept it though. It must be what happens when people kill themselves for you and don't come back like Carter.

I slip silently over to Ollie's side and slowly settle myself on the edge so not to wake him. His breaths tenderly trickle in and out of his nose matching the rhythm of his rest. I could sit here for hours watching him sleep, but I can't. The others will be awake soon and the on this morning late is never an option. So I lean in close to his exposed ear and whisper words I pray his subconscious catches. 

"If it's me, then let me go."

A single droplet of water drips off the edge of my hair and onto the skin of his forehead. I quickly stand and move around the corner of the hall in case he starts to stir. My heart is racing rampantly and I have to calm my breaths. I barely know this boy let alone what he means to me, yet I can sense it in him. It's the same thing the other two shared. Another boy won't be buried because of me.

An hour later I'm at the door of the safe house watching while the last of us come crawling out of our cave for the Reaping. Vandal has been left in charge in the case scenario that neither Auto or I can come back now that Dad is.... well... Auto's already left for the Square with a group of others from the gang while I'm left waiting for my band of boys. They are looking better, stronger and smarter than when I first recruited them. Many of them have already proven themselves as pivotal parts of the gang, but they aren't anywhere near career quality yet. I'll have to keep pushing them.

"Let's go dumb asses!"

I shout as I pull on a nice navy sweater. The walk is different this time, the murmurs that follow my footsteps are louder this year. An air of anticipation hangs heavy over every set of stares that diverts in my direction. It isn't the entourage that comes with me, it's my age that has set itself as the center of this day. Not just my age though, Auto's as well. The Theft twins are eighteen, one last opportunity for the Capitol to lay claim to our lives. Will Proper President Snow finally remove one, or two, of the prominent criminal figureheads founded in District Three? My eyes illuminate with the after images of the smoldering rubble I left at the Train Station. It makes me laugh while the world watches.

The ceremony seems short this time, as though the escort is radiating with anxious energy as well. Then there's a chill, a movement, and the sound of shutting doors. Everyone around me begins to turn and exit while I remain frozen facing forward. My breathing has stopped and I'm just staring at the seal of Panem on that stage. I'm just staring as it all comes crashing down around me like a rogue wave of realization.

I never thought I'd get to live.

I never expected to have a future.

I'm pushing past people, surging against the sea of those filled with a sense of relief. Someone curses and someone shrieks, but I keep my head down and shove until I hear the familiar echo of an alleyway and I fall. The gravel greets my hands with a brutal bite and blood burbles out of my palms as I stay here stuck on my hands and knees. Tears sting out of the creases of my eyes, but sobs are not what accompany them. Laughter lifts out of my lips in an almost psychotic pattern. They are loud enough to drive deep into the core of the planet and into the throne room of Death for Him to know the truth. 

The Thefts are the ultimate thieves, we've stolen life.

We are fucking free.