Lost in the echo [Harb one-shots]

I've spent most of the day to myself sitting outside unsure of what to do. My mind is running in so many directions, and I can't keep up with it. My stomach twists into knots nearly bringing me to my knees as beads of sweat roll from my brow. Nothing makes sense right now, and I can't stop my hands from shaking. I'm afraid. Afraid for my family. Afraid that they'll have to go through what I went through, and I don't want that to happen. I don't want to lose anyone else. Not even my family. It's been sitting on my mind for years, but now it's coming for me.

It's hard to even think right now. All I can do is think about next year and what may come. I've lost so much over the last several years. Many from my family has died for my name, and all I can do is think about who they'll try to take away from me next. Vera is eleven. This is her last year of safety for the next few years, and I don't want the Capitol to steal her away from me. It's hard, and I'm pacing the room back and forth leaving an invisible path along the floor. My family means the world to me, and I don't want to risk anything anymore. I want them to have safety. I want them to have a life they deserve, and they can't have that here. I've been trying for so long, and now it's getting to where I am powerless, and I hate the feeling. I just know I need to get them out of here as soon as possible.

I'm scrambling through the house throwing anything and everything in a bag. Clothes that belong to the kids. I'm throwing food into the bags. It's not much, but maybe it'll help them. That's all I want is to help them. I have to get them out of here. I have to send them on their way somewhere safe. Somewhere they won't have to face the same thing that I faced so many times before. I'm trying to be quiet because I don't want to wake them just yet. I need time to pack. I need time to get everything together for them so they can flee. I'm not even sure what time it is right now, but based on the moon shining bright in the sky, it's still a few hours before the sun rises into the horizon. I'll get them on their way in the middle of the night and nobody will know they're gone.

My heart is racing frantically inside my chest as I try figuring out what they'll need for their journey. I'll stay behind because they're better off without me slowing them anyway, and I'll give them the chance they need to fully run for it. I don't know if anything exists outside of the fenced in areas, but it's better than living here. Once I have everything packed, and the bags sitting at the door, I run back into my room. I don't know where to begin or what to even say to Navya, but I have to get them on the road now. Time is running out, and I must make it quick. A shaky breath catches in the back of my throat as I sit down on the side of the bed my head falling into my hands. "Navya?" I ask keeping myself as calm as I can hoping she can hear me. Hoping that maybe she's already awake, but just to make sure, I say her name once more a little louder. "Navya. You need to take our kids and run. Before they take Vera from us. I'll stay behind and take the heat."