grow as we go . elegant

k y .

"You can ebb and I can flow
And we'll take it slow
And grow as we go"

He'd been quieter than normal since the day before, for an already quiet boy that was, well, pretty quiet. He knew that Opal had noticed something amiss. It wasn't that he was too sad to speak, he just had a lot of things to sort out. In the morning, he'd said goodbye to all of the new faces he'd met and the people that had come back into his life for the first time in years. He had multiple numbers in his pocket to call when he got home, he felt lucky.

But he also felt a little sad to be leaving. He was already looking forward to their return in a years time, not because he wanted to return to the Capitol by any means but because he realized that the both of them had managed to find some happiness in the cold city. Ky wasn't necessarily ready to just go back to normal life. He realized that he was going to really miss everyone.

But he missed his bed, their house and he doubted the careers they'd paid to water the garden were doing a good job of it so it was time. Besides, someone had to greet Beck on his victory tour and Ky certainly didn't want to leave him to the sharks in One.

It would be good to be home.

He set up at the end of his mother's train car, bag under his feet as a makeshift footrest. There was a table stacked high with beautifully laid out foods for them but Ky didn't want to ruin his appetite, his mom had already promised her stew when they got home, it was one of his favourites.

His mom eventually entered the carriage and Ky tried to stay casual despite knowing what was coming. There was no way she hadn't found out about him sneaking out on multiple occasions. Even though she'd been nicely distracted, his mom wasn't still one of the best trainers in One for no reason. Still, there were some things that Ky didn't want to share with her, some unresolved emotions that he didn't want to drag her down with when she was probably a little bit sad to be leaving too.

So, he already had a plan figured out when she pulled up a seat beside him and asked him where he'd gone all those times. In the end, he hadn't really ended up in too much danger anyway. He turned to look at her, a deadpan expression to match her neutral tone, "So is Katelyn my new mom or what? Mom number two?" he asked.

A grin threatened at the corner of his mouth, a telltale sign that Ky was messing with Opal and was about to crack.

k y .

"You can ebb and I can flow
And we'll take it slow
And grow as we go"

Ky knew that he shouldn't tease his mom like that, if anyone deserved happiness and the privacy to fall in love again it was probaby her. Still, she made it so easy to when her reactions were so priceless. His neutral expression cracked easily at his mother's antics and Ky found himself laughing just as easily, something deep in the belly that he hadn't realized he'd been holding in for what felt like two weeks.

He'd forgotten how shit a liar she was, how easy it was to frazzle her and Ky found himself wishing that winters didn't always make him feel so sad. They were going to be alone in that big, empty house again and the garden would be buried under a blanket of snow; he wanted to live where they could keep their faces turned towards the sun. But their life was spent compartmentalized and that seemed like an odd thing, inhumane.

There had been a lot of learning in the Capitol and he was still trying to sort it out. He was beginning to become more aware of the separations between people however and it felt like waking up from a long sleep. The things he'd seen, the people, none of it really made sense but it did give him something to focus on rather than his own emotional turmoil. His strongest moment of clarity had come when he'd gone to see his father's hologram in the Games Museum, the morbidity of the whole thing somehow lost on the eager patrons of the place. For the first time in his life, Ky realized just how desensitized the people of Panem were to death.

That was a lot to dump on his mother, who seemed truly happy for the first time in ages. She was stood there, eating a cookie that Katelyn had baked for her and seeing her so happy honestly did make him feel happier too. He'd prefer it if she could just stay that happy for the rest of her life but he couldn't help feeling like he had to collect the moment too, like something bad was coming. He hated himself for that, how he always had to overthink every situation.

Ky picked up Katelyn's cookie and gave it a little nibble. It really was good, but it just tasted as it looked. Ky liked his mom's more, maybe they weren't as perfect but he'd never liked sweets anyway. The intention behind them was what he'd always liked. He let the cookie crumble in his mouth and nodded slightly, one hand covering his full mouth as he said, "Tell Mom #2 thanks for the cookies for me."

He hadn't gotten the chance to talk to the Victor from eleven but as long as his mom was happy, so was Ky, there'd be no silly teenage rebellion over his mom falling in love with someone else. Since speaking to the hologram of his dad, he knew with a certainty that he would have wanted that for her.

"Honestly mom," he said with a shrug, "I was just vibing." The word was one that he'd picked up on style street. That wasn't really a lie either. Over the course of the week, he'd gotten a lot better at sneaking out and had found it easier to explore the Capital and once he'd met all his goals, that just left exploring. "I know you said to stay in but I think I really needed the... adventure?" It was a half-truth, so as far as he was concerned, he was still a good son.

"I heard you and Mom #2 went on a date, how was that?" he said and picked up another cookie, teen boy instincts kicking in. Maybe they were better than he'd initially thought.

k y .

"You can ebb and I can flow
And we'll take it slow
And grow as we go"

The cookie ended up not being enough and Ky found himself reaching for a little stack of sandwhiches. He had plenty of room for them and his mother's stew. Lately he'd been finding that he was always hungry no matter how much he ate, there never seemed to be enough food. He kind of wanted to ask his mom about it but at the same time, he felt like it was probably just a weird part of growing up.

Ky didn't notice at first, the way his mother had suddenly gone away. He'd been staring out the window and watching the landscape pass them, but his mom had gone unnaturally quiet and when he looked back, he saw that she was gone. Her gaze was trained on nothing in particular, her expression oddly vacant and he stopped chewing slowly, body tensing as he leaned forward to prepare to rouse her.

She blinked before he had to do anything and Ky leaned back again, brow furrowed with worry. He wanted to know what she'd been thinking about, why her expression had gone so dark, but they were both prone to their secrets. Ky wondered why he'd had to fall so close to the tree, they were both so busy protecting each other that they'd forgotten how to share. He opened his mouth to ask anyway but the spell had passed quickly and Opal was already talking about Kaitlin.

Ky smiled, letting it pass. Maybe he'd ask her about what was troubling her later. It was just nice to see his mom so happy and he truly felt that she deserved it. "Yeah, well maybe I collected a number or two," he said with a grin, "I ran into Uncle Mace but I also made some new friends." He'd grabbed the numbers off of two other victors to call. Operation 'Make Friends' had been semi-successful. Ky flashed a grin at his mom, wanting badly to just enjoy the moment with her and he was for the most part.

But every moment he spent happy he couldn't help feeling like he was running from something that was always there on his heels.

"I'm glad Mom #2 makes you so happy mom, really. You deserve it," he said before taking a bite of a second little sandwich, "So when's the wedding, huh? Am I gonna be best man?"

It's a good thing he didn't really believe in it, or he might be worried he was gonna go to hell for teasing his mom so mercilessly.

k y .

"You can ebb and I can flow
And we'll take it slow
And grow as we go"

"Disappointing," he said, and picked up a little wooden skewer with fruit stacked through it. "But if she asks, you're not gonna say no right?"

He didn't actually know if this was still considered teasing or not. There was a pretty high chance that he was going too far, it was just another social boundary that he was pretty loose on. Ky wasn't even one hundred percent sure about how he felt about all of it. He was firm on the idea that his mom should be happy and that his dad would have wanted this, but a whole other person being in his life was a strange concept.

Ky knew that he was an acquired taste but he'd never needed anyone to like him before now. If Katelyn and he didn't get along, would that be a deal-breaker for his mom? The idea of that worried him, he knew he could be a burden sometimes but he'd actively tried not to be since he was little.

And Ky was sixteen, old enough to fend for himself anyway. He'd never thought about it before, but maybe he should start saving money somehow. He could only be a career for so long until he actually had to get a real job. His mom's role was to be a Victor but Ky had nothing except being her son and pretty good grades. He wouldn't be able to rely on Opal for forever.

He needed a job.

"I can help," he said suddenly, almost cutting Opal off, "Mom please, I can totally help with training and stuff, you know I've gotten good."

Opal wanted him to be a kid for forever, both of them knew that because it showed in the way she protected him so fiercely. Ky was so obviously tearing at the bit, his world opening up and unfurling almost overnight thanks to the connections he'd made in the Capitol. He'd found something else there too though, a strange evening out that had come as a result from his various adventures.

"I'll do the dishes every single night," he promised.