hey whore

"Good mornin', bitch!

You still wait for me daily? God, it's so hard being so needed, but I do what I must! Myrcella though, you gotta know how busy my schedule has been, it's difficult. You know, coming in here every day- don't get me wrong babe, I'm not gonna stop, I'm just trying to brag. See, you know how it is! You get me, ugh, Mal just doesn't get me like you do. Did I tell you that he kicked me out yesterday? Yeah bitch, 

fuckin' hell- it wasn't even that serious, Myrcella. He was just pissed that I got cigarette burns on his couch, like boohoo dude, just get another couch it really isn't that hard. And then he was sitting there like 'ooooh, this isn't even about this burns, this about you breaking into my house again,' like dude, you think I'm really going to believe that? Besides, I've been breaking into your house for a year now, if he really wanted me to stop he'd actually like, lock his windows, you know? 

Do you care if I just flick this here-? You've never really gotten pissed at me leaving ashes everywhere. 

Well, you did, but it was different, y'know. Mav only really reminds me of you when he's mad, and I guess that's why I like annoying him. Oh my fucking god, do you remember when I was convinced I was going to marry him? I do! Fuck yeah I do, we were sitting there drinking fake wine- shit, that's a whole nother rabbit hole. Do you remember when we rode up to Ezri's and fuuuull convinced her that it was legit, she nearly cracked my goddamn gay skull and everything. Her teeth were fucked by the food coloring for hours, and she was sitting there scrubbing all night. 

And she had the audacity to tell me that she doesn't drink vodka! 'Oh, only soft wine for me!' Give me a break bitch, and then she'd sit there gulping it down like it was water and walk completely straight, ugh. I love that bitch. OH so I finally got my name changed again, no no I didn't get married, not yet at least. I think I'm over Justice Fray, you know? He's just not worth it, he's not even like, rich anymore. 

Then there's like, his kids you know? And I just don't know about that you know, homewrecking is one thing but being a father? To two little white bitches-? I just, I don't think so. That Elara lady can keep him, but no I think I was just projecting on him. You told me that once or twice, too, you knew what I was doing and that's why I can always trust you to tell me what I need to hear, you know? Mav and Ezri and the rest, they'll just be like oh dude, you're a fuckin dumbass oi put the bottle down Uly- you know who I'm talking about too!

But you actually cared, and I didn't listen ever, but it was nice. Not just 'oh, you need to stop having an addiction,' like yeah! But you'd sit there and listen to me, and tell me why it was wrong and I guess I just miss that. 

I need another bad bitch in my life already. 

I love you, Myrcella. 

Fuck, can you believe I look this fuckin' skinny today and we can't even go out and do anything? I still have that push up for you, I don't really know what to do with it, but I brought it to the mortician when they were burying you. He refused to put it on your body, but I fought him, hon, I really really did. Can you believe what they fucking buried you in? Like, dude, she's hot! She's got nice tits and long legs and you're burying her in a fucking knee-length white bloom like it's her first time at a fuckin' church?

It's so fucking backwards, and they sit there and bury you in white because they lost an innocent angel- no! We're whores, bitch! They're all so pissed that you died but I'm the only one sitting in here every goddamn day, I have a bed outside! But they treat me just like a goddamn stranger, I didn't get to speak at your funeral and I didn't get to dress you and all I got to do is sit there silent and Mav sympathized with me, but I'm not blood.

I didn't bare the casket, I didn't get to say goodbye, all I got was a goddamn bouquet that matched every single other person there and I sleep outside this fuckin' museum for god's sake! Every day, every single day I am in here on my first, second, third cigarette and I piss on the bricks outside and I sit in front of this hologram and don't have a single fucking thing to tell you that I'm doing right in the world, but I'm fucking alive okay! I'm not alone, I'm not useless fuckin' Ulysses, because I know you died knowing I deserved to be on this earth with my own last name and with a husband and kids of my own- AND my own wallet. 

I did that shit, you know, I bought my own wallet for the first time in years. You remember that one that had Ricky stitched in the leather-? Out! Yup, I threw it away empty and bought my own fat ass wallet and put my own pictures in there and in the front isn't Justice or Ricky or family, it's you. It's you, and then me, and then me, you and Ezri, and it may not be blood but it's all I fucking have to remind me that you weren't always just a hunk of fucking code that can't even tell what I'm saying because I've been talking for too goddamn long. 

And I love you, Myrcella. Shit, my fire died, 

I'll be right back, I just have to get my lighter, don't go anywhere."

The message deletes itself as he walks away, an excessive word count limit by passed and the registration left inactive in his leave. Still, it awaits input, buffering until the minute he'd return again. And he'd return again. 

He always does.