SONGBIRDS & SNAKES EVENT | DAY 4: WHAT IM THANKFUL FOR

Wow I for real was thinking about this kind of thing today let me get emosh and rambly for a little bit. Like, cait level rambly, u aren't ready

I've been super struggling with the COVID situation atm, I won't lie. Kinda feels like my world has been turned upside down - I don't know when I'll be back at uni, let alone if I'll even graduate on time anymore. I can't travel home to visit my dad, and my prac classes have been suspended indefinitely. I had a lot more free time on my hands due to uni being cancelled (not the case atm because they decided to bring two of our subjects forward WTF), and I hadn't written in so long and was missing it terribly. It just made sense to come back and spend some of my new found free time writing here.

I had every intention of just talking to a few people (see @zori) and starting a few threads here and there (or not lol). Writing some random AUs just to get it out of my system, and then disappear again for 2 years lol. But that didn't really happen like that, and I'm kind of happy about it.

I'm so anxious, I feel like everyone hates me and nobody wants to talk to me and it's honestly just easier to not say anything to anyone so I don't get my feelings hurt. But I guess I forgot how hard that is to actually do on here lol.

I'm so grateful to have reconnected with old friends, and also for all the new people I've gotten to meet and chat to. Talking to people who've joined after me seemed so intimidating (mostly bc they all have more characters and posts than me even if I was only gone for 2 years and have technically been here for 8 WTF) and I 100% would have been okay to just do my own thing and pass by without crossing paths. But I'm glad it hasn't worked out that way.

Today I felt like, for the first time since this whole mess began - and maybe even before it - that I wasn't so alone. I'm a literal 100% introvert (see: MBTI INFJ with a capital I) and I'm super happy to just be on my own in my room for weeks on end with minimal social interaction. That's what I thought, at least, and I'm not going stir crazy like my extroverted friends currently are, but it's a different kind of anxiety I feel about this entire situation? I feel so closed off from the people I care about and love. It's really hard to go from seeing the people you've spent the last 4 years with, to just not seeing them at all anymore.

The thing about the site is, the people are always here. It's so easy to just... be when there's so many people right there with you at any given time. I forgot what that was like, and I'm just really grateful for this site in this crazy world right now <3


also i do intend to do 9 more things (shorter I promise!!!) I'm just :)) stressed with uni :))

1. First off, I'm so thankful for this community because you've taught me so much. Not just about writing, but about being a kind and genuine person. When I joined back in middle schooloml was such a small, I know that I was a little very annoying and in a lot of cases rude and disrespectful of others. In part, that's because I didn't really understand how the world works because of my age, but I also did some things that I know were just rude on any level. I really like to think that I've changed and become a better person through everything you all have taught me.
2. Although it's gotten a lot better in recent years, this site also helped me get through a lot of dark moments in my life. As a creative outlet and an outlet to just vent worries and fears into characters in made up world, it's been oddly therapeutic in the best way.
3. I also like to think that my writing's improved over the years that I've been on here, and I think that's largely due to being able to read everyone else's amazing writing. Everyone here is just an amazing writer, and being able to be apart of this community is amazing. You always drive me to improve and give me means to do so.
4. I'm super grateful for everyone I've ever allied with because those have been wild times with all of you even when they are cut short for a few certain games.
5. I am super thankful for getting to know Elegant better through these retro games! Ele, if you're reading this, you are so incredibly nice and thoughtful, and your writing is legit amazing. I'm so glad I got to know you better because I never really had a chance to talk to you before, and I'm just so glad we finally got around to talking more!
6. I am thankful that I'm able to just be in the slack channel. Just being in it. If I'm having a not great time with something, or even if I'm just bored, I can open it up and just read through it. You guys never fail to make me laugh and it's amazing. I guess this is really that I'm thankful for you guys being the funniest people ever.
7. I am thankful for everyone that I've ever threaded with (both in games and out), because it's always given me something to do that I've enjoyed. I've loved reading and interacting with all of your characters.
8. I'm thankful that this site has also taught me bits of coding and design! I like to think that my table designs have improved since I got here! I hope that my tables for Arcturus and my most recent characters I made are a bit more ~ aesthetically pleasing ~ and I wouldn't have been able to learn any of that without you guys!
9. I'm thankful for the admins and staff who have been running this site for so long now! I have no idea where I'd be right now without this site, but I like to think that it's improved me in so many ways!
10. And finally, I'm just thankful that this site is so much fun!

ily all <333

1. So it's no surprise that I'm thankful for getting my start in coding and design from this site, I think I've told a lot of you that one way that I got into my program was my friend saw me making tables one night and told me I should apply for the design program she was in. At the time, I had no idea what graphic design even was! You needed a portfolio to apply and I had NOTHING! So I went and talked to the head of the program and he looked at my instagram and then asked to see my table thread, I was highkey mortified but I showed him, and he told me that I had really good work and so I got in! 4 years later, here I am with a degree. Wow, thanks nerdy hgrpg land.
2. I'm also thankful for my time as a mod, I think that I learned a lot about problem-solving and leadership through that and it helped me get a leg up in my workplaces because I wasn't afraid to be direct and clear about issues. It helped me learn to step back and take in the whole picture of a problem while still trying to find a way to make everyone happy! uwu
3. I'm thankful for all the wonderful people that I've met on this website! Y'all support me so much and I'm so lucky, from the way you express your pride in me for my design work, to the way you shout out my store when it comes up, it all means so much.
4. I'm grateful for all the travel I've gotten to do as well as hosting thanks to people on this site. I went to NZ because I knew I'd have connections there and got to spend glorious days with Zoë, met up with Meg and even spent two weeks over Christmas with Clover! I had cass stay at mine for a month (which means I have a place in addy to visit) and had Python come all the way from Florida so I can kick her butt into a river and scratch her with a log. I got to show those two my home and my family and that means so much to me! Cnn't forget my amazing roadtrip with Lance down to meet Kay, Tom, Dee and Pika! Kudos to lance for dealing with my constant chatter over a 13 hour long car ride and Kay for hosting the both of us like a queen! Can't wait for round 2 with ar and nyte. uwu
5. I'm grateful for my best friends and the people who have gotten me through the mental exhaustion of my degree while making me laugh every day. I can't see a world where I don't log into skype daily to talk to my babes and I'm so glad to be back on slack so that I can pester the rest of you as well. Y'all really out here being my community huh?
6. I'm grateful for the people who have reached out to me and/or the people who have not slammed the door in my face when I made my return. Y'all have been so open to writing with me and i'm really enjoying plotting and writing with people I never have before! The fact that you've all been so pleased to see me back means so much and really makes me feel like I've come home. I struggle with deep connections and tend to overthink a lot of the time so I'm! just! gay! about! it!!! Also those of u who reached out immediately and said I could share my old faces? Thank u?? (Lance + Tris + Python +others) You made coming back that much easier for me!
7. I'm grateful for all the writing practice I've done on this website and the years of writing I have to look back on, it's nice to read an old bio from 2011 and measure how much I've grown. For a long while I've felt like my writing has just gotten clunky and gross and I'm super insecure about it rn but y'all just really be out here building me up and it's so KIND! Thank u for loving me! I love u too!
8. I'm grateful you've allowed me to grow as a human bean on here and have let me grow past my mistakes and don't hold grudges because it'd be so easy to but y'all really out here supporting me as a human being! Even though I never retain any games info, y'all never yell at me no matter how many times i ask the same thing (i'm looking at u lance) and u give me the benefit of the doubt when I do something stupid and that means a lot to a girl who's used to getting teased endlessly by her fam about every single mistake I've made since taking my first breath! wow! Like, I know I'm an idiot, y'all know I'm an idiot but that doesn't mean we gotta say it!
9. I'm grateful for MEMES! Thanks for letting me be memey and just taking my dumb jokes in stride. Y'all really just let me exist without judgement huh?
10. I'm grateful for slack and for all the channels that teach and share with me every day, I feel lit inside because I know that I always have something that I can learn from y'all. Thank u for vibing and for being a cool community that evolves and learns!