flick wade | d4

His skin burns where it touches mine and I know that if I had to, I'd shed my skin for him so I said yes two years ago, of course I did. Every time our hands even brush against each other, it sends a shiver down my spine and I'm sixteen years old again, fucking baby really but who's counting. When you know you know and with CJ I always just knew that I was going to love that boy for the rest of my life.

So we did it! We got married! And I forced Pietro to be my maid of honour at gunpoint! Well not really, he was pretty into it I think, threw me a stellar party and wasn't even too wasted for his speech, so that was a win. The reality is, we got married at sixteen and we were stupid shitty teenagers but hey, at least we knew what we wanted. What we still want.

I like it when I'm sitting in my zone, paper-macheing the shit out of a beautiful bug piece at three in the morning for a commision and CJ comes in and drapes himself on my shoulders. He drags me into bed like a fucking pro and I get to wake up tangled up in his arms every single goddamn day and I adore it. I love it so much!

There's nobody else out there that gets me as he does, nobody else whose always been in my corner and I know that no matter what I do, he's never going to stop loving me. I've known CJ all my life though, never even had to come out to him. When I was little and I realized the word 'he' made me sad, CJ stopped using it. Do you want to know how freeing that is? Just find someone to love you unconditionally, babe.

I'm that bitch that scrounges for bugs. Got a spider in your bathtub? Just come and get me bro, I got you, I will take that little friend and give him the best home and then some. Even cockroaches! I love 'em so much, those sweet little babies. I will take your cockroaches and release them into the wild so please do not stomp on them.

Never stomp on a bug in front of me, I'll legit cry. When I was five years old I held my first funeral for a beetle I found crushed on the sidewalk. I made my dad officiate as I dug a little hole in the ground and put his little dead bug body inside. Everyone laughed at me for it but I didn't care, I just knew I was in love somehow with the concept of life and death and the whole cycle.

We always forget about the bugs.

Aren't we all just tiny bugs in the end? There's always someone bigger. At least, I've always been pretty short and people are always gonna step on the little guys so if we don't cry for sweet little beetles, then what will we cry for? Normalize tears! There's nothing wrong with crying, I do it all the time actually and CJ says I'm being sensitive and I agree. I love being a sensitive bitch.

And I am a bitch sometimes, but CJ still puts up with me because that's how true love works! He even put that in his vows you know and I put in mine that I'd put up with his dumb cold feet at night and I promised that I'd never lie to him. So I don't, I tell him every time I come home whom I've just slept with and he tells me the same. An open relationship requires honesty and I don't care who he's just been with as long as he's waking up next to me in the morning.

Sometimes I think about what CJ will look like as an old man and I get all excited because I'm going to find out one day like sixty years from now. I can't see myself ever not loving him. He's my partner in all things, from our passions to our struggle, I know he has my back.

The only thing that I love more than bugs is CJ but that doesn't mean I haven't stooped so low as to sleep with someone for a rare butterfly before. I'll give up my body before I give up my mind though because all of the poetry I wax has always been for my man. I would sell every single bug in my collection before I betrayed him.

Obsessed much?

Yes.