sunday saints | emmett & ky

It feels colder this year than last. The train is more austere maybe or it's the way that his mom sits so quietly, eyes on the window and buzzing with anticipation. It could even be the stark white of his hair in the mirror that's throwing him off. Sampson had insisted on the dye job, had said it would look cool. Whatever it is, it's driving Ky mental.

So he goes to pee out of boredom.

The train bathroom is nice for a train, not that he's been on many others. There's a little soap bar in a dish, complimentary chocolates and the towel to dry his hands is somehow warm, as if it just came out of the dryer. As far as bathrooms go, it's definitely a bathroom.

He doesn't want to go back out there.

Ky blinks at himself in the mirror and wonders why. There's this heavy feeling in his chest that he didn't have last year at all. Maybe it's because he didn't know the tributes, but the Le Roux' are different. There's a small connection there, he knows Isaac at least and Ridley had moved in two years ago.

He's never spoken to Emmett.

What are you supposed to say to a kid whose being shipped off to a death game? Ky lacks experience in near-death situations. He'd had this same struggle last year so had decided to just stay out of the way. It'd probably just be best to leave things to Ridley again and stay close to Opal.

The bathroom handle rattles and he realizes he's been hogging it so he picks up a chocolate and slides the door open. Standing right in front of him is the person he just made the decision to stay away from.

"Hello," he says, serendipity pulling a fast one on him, "Emmett right?"

"You okay?"

Kid looks ready to vom.

He hates being aware of who he is but the way that Emmett stares at him for too long reminds him. He's Opal's kid.

Opal's kid.

He might as well have it stamped on his forehead and he's reminded of last year, when he got found out that first time he snuck out. They'd nearly smothered him before Teddy had come along to save him. It's not his fame but his mother's. He's just Opal's kid and that's all he'll ever be.

God, suddenly he's acutely aware of how much he doesn't deserve to be on the train and how he doesn't deserve to be in Victor's Village either. He's never belonged in a training centre with the rest and he's an outcast at school too. Ky's always been weird, always the odd one out, he doesn't fit anyw-

"I don't know."

Emmett must be terrified.

The kid looks like he's crumbling in front of him, beads of sweat slipping down his forehead. Ky reaches out carefully and puts a hand on the tribute's shoulder, fingers pressing down gently. "Hey, I've got you," he says softly, "I've got you."

Ky tugs him into the bathroom carefully, working with the subtle shaking of the train to get Emmett in front of the toilet.

"Now get on your knees," he instructs.

He leans against the counter to wait and slides the bathroom door shut again. The last thing they need wis someone walking up just to get an eyeful of the District One Career losing his lunch.

Ky realizes too late that he really should have left, so then he finds himself locked in a little compartment with a boy that looks like he's about to be sick and-

Oh there it goes.

Ky doesn't really know what to do in this sort of situation. If it was him throwing up, he'd probably want to be alone but usually, when he was sick Opal was there to pat his back. Should he pat Emmett's back?

His hand hovers over his back for a moment which is currently shuddering and moving with his whole body and there really doesn't seem to be a good spot to safely pat, the whole thing seems kind of awkward. Last year he'd decided it was his goal to make some friends and he'd kind of made at least one maybe.

Shit, he's so bad at this.

Eventually, he just decided to cross his arms and keep leaning. The smell of the kid's vomit is pretty horrible but he also doesn't want to leave him alone. If he starts choking on his own vomit and dies, what then? Does Ky get charged with murder? It's a lot to think about.

"Don't tell your mom."

Emmett blinks up at Ky and Ky stares down at him. It's not like throwing up is illegal, or like she's the vomit police for that matter. Ky gets it though, people were always puffing out their chests for Opal Earnest.

"Despite what they say, she's a human being too you know, it's okay to show weakness in front of her," he says. Then he grabs a hand towel from a stack on a rack above the toilet and wets it down with cold water. Ky slams the toilet lid down, hoping the kid is finished and kneels down in front of him to press the cold cloth to his forehead.

"Tip your head back, ok? You probably just need to sit for a bit."

"Why are you still here?"

It's a good question.

"I don't know," he answers.

Yeah, obviously he's nailing it. Why is he still here though, it's not like he owes Emmett anything. Realistically, he should be keeping his distance. His mom had told him almost a hundred times how painful it was to form attachments with tributes going into games, but this hardly seems dangerous. He's just helping a kid get through a panic attack.

Helping a Le Roux.

Helping a kid named Emmett.

"I don't think I'd want to be alone right now," he says, "That just seems too lonely." He lifts the cloth and pats Emmett's cheeks gently with it before standing to wet it again. As it sits in the sink, Ky pulls the cupboard beneath open with his foot, heart hopeful for a mouthwash.

The train rattles quietly around him and for a moment, all Ky hears is Emmett's breathing. It's too heavy, too fast all at once.

"Ah, nothing," he mutters, but there is a cup and Ky fills it with water before squatting back down and passing it to Emmett, "Here, rinse."

"Tell me something good, what's your best memory?" he asks and he presses the plunger on the toilet down in an effort to clear the air a little.

Here in the bathroom with the rattle of the train to drown out the noise and a warm yellow light above their heads, Ky sits with the a wet cloth in his hand and his back against the wall.

He watches Emmett at the sink and he knows that he's been gone too long, which is alright, he's always been prone to distraction. Disappearing for an extra twenty minutes or so is no big deal.

But since when has he been so loose about these things?

"I don't really think I have one."

Ky twists the cloth in his hands and lets water drip on the floor beside him.

"Then I'll make one," he says, the promise out of his mouth before he has time to even think. Ky doesn't even know what he means by that. All he knows is that everyone deserves at least one thing that they can hold onto. For him, it's his birthday last year when his mom gave him his father's wedding ring. It rests heavily beneath his shirt against his skin.

Emmett holds himself up with the counter and it looks like he's trying to convince himself of something more than he is Ky. It's true that the culture in One promotes the concept of the games being the only way to elevate your status but Ky was never raised on that idea. He forgot for a moment that was how it was for everyone else and for the briefest moment, he feels guilt.

Despite everything, he's never felt the urge to escape his own circumstance. Once again, just like with Blaze, he's reminded of his own privilege.

"Before you go into the games, ok?" he says.

Ky pulls himself up using the toilet as support and places the wet towel on the counter beside Emmett's hand. "I hope you've made the right choice, Emmett," he says and he slides the bathroom door open. Daylight from the windows in the train corridor slice through the warm yellow light from the bathroom.

"Come see me later, I'll give you some tea for your stomach."