dont hold me to it [charade]

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pearl mcclain d4 [ryan]
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over the moon, where all the wild things are

dont hold me to it [charade] Jun 5, 2020 16:40:56 GMT -5

Post by pearl mcclain d4 [ryan] on Jun 5, 2020 16:40:56 GMT -5

She hasn’t had much time to breath. Meeting the tributes, telling them all what was to come. This was a quell after all, five years after her own none the less.

Annie was ready for there to be bloodshed.

After all, Snow had been so gracious, according to himself, through the 80th. Giving not one, but all 24 tributes a chance to live their lives? That was unheard of. No one would have guessed such a thing, and even Annie, who had won the whole damn thing, would have believed it. The capitol had already done a great job to pushing the hopes and dreams of others into the mud. It was up to her to figure out the rest of it.

But that hard, even after getting off the train and being constantly bombarded with questions about what the quell had in store. Annie answered them all the same. She didn’t give a shit. She knew well that nothing would be like hers, and she would condemn those that did think it was a possibility. It would not be, it would not be, it would never be.

That is what she told herself as she found the nearest bathroom and vomited up everything that she had consumed in the train.

She never looked well when she came to the capitol, and part of that was her fault. Of course, the girl consumed nothing but pasta, fish, and alcohol. She didn’t even eat that much pasta, so anyone could guess what the rest of her diet consisted of. She always tried to make sure she ate before stepping off that train, but it was like clockwork. She would throw it up immediately and then feel like hell until she finally got up to the district four housing.

Maybe it was the pain of the press that brought this new found heartache, or the fact that there was this new pressure that had taken over her. Now that she brought one tribute home, she knew people talked about her bringing back another, and another after that, and so on and so forth. Annie was probably expected to shore up her numbers, just like Arbor and Topaz did in the coming years. Four now had three victors, and soon they would catch up to one. As long as Annie did her job. She didn’t want to think about what they would do if Annie did not perform to their expectations.

She worried for the life of her family after all.

But that was not important here right now. They did not reap Trish, and they did not reap Axel. They reaped a boy and a girl that Annie knew nothing about, except for Arie, and even then, she was volunteered for by someone else. Someone else wanted to throw their live into the fire, and now it was Annies, and also Beck’s job to try to bring one of them back. Because of course, there was no chance of getting them both back. Annie wondered if they both were going to make it far even. She hoped they would.

Though it always made it harder when they died in the end.

But Beck subverted that. He made it through, and so did Bell and even Noel made it closer and closer. There were so many chances where Annie could have tried to get them out, even tributes like Finley or Elite or Harper or Berlin. The ones that died earlier than they were supposed to. Annie could have saved them too, or tried too, but the guilt of her games always laid waste to her. She hated herself for a long time because of it, but now that Beck was here, and the Hailshams had proven that four could be contended once again.

Bell failed.

Beck succeeded.

Of course, Annie wasn’t going to let this go to her head. Beck had been given a fighting chance in the arena. The boy from three did not put up much of a fight against him, which gave Beck more of a chance to come home. Annie simply pushed the thought out of her mind as she walked out of the suite in four, and to the elevator to go down to whatever shit show was happening down on the main floor.

When it dinged open though, she realized that it had already been occupied.

By one Katelyn Persimmon.

Probably one of the kindest victors that she had ever met.

”Katelyn.” Annie said with a small smile. ”Its been a while...” she entered the elevator and nodded to her, not knowing still where they stood if Annie was being honest with herself. ”Its so good to see you.” Annie couldn’t help herself by being a little sentimental, seeing as she felt like it had been ages since she had seen her.

All those memories just came flooding back.

The bad and the good.

PAT: 820

charade
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last seen May 1, 2024 12:08:12 GMT -5

Thinking

dont hold me to it [charade] Jun 5, 2020 20:16:20 GMT -5

Post by charade on Jun 5, 2020 20:16:20 GMT -5

k a t e l y n .

A little girl, a little small for her age
A little too slow for the field day race
Momma's waiting at the finish line
And wipes the teardrops from her eyes

The quell was going to be a busy, busy time for her, Katelyn thought as she got dressed. While she always did her best to secure sponsors, she’d been informed that there were several galas, parties and other such functions that she was expected to attend. The biggest one this year would be the one hosted by the Varda family, and it promised to be a large, extravagant affair. While she hated having to go to that sort of thing, this year she was required to “reaffirm her support for the Capitol in these trying, turbulent times.” It was enough to make her think that the old man really had kicked the bucket; though it remained to be seen if his replacement would be any better or a thousand times worse.

The devil you know, she thought with no small amount of trepidation.

Even though the games hadn’t started, she’d hardly had a moments peace, barring whenever she could steal a moment with Opal. The thought of Cyro’s son weighed heavily on her no matter what she was doing, and it had led her to spend more time than usual in the training center, more time with talking with people. Tributes. Victors. Capitolites. Perhaps it was an effect of the lockdown, but it felt like people were more animated, more alive. That there were more people around than the last few games.

Maybe across Panem, everyone had gotten a little stir-crazy. Add that to no one yet knowing what the quell twist was going to be and yeah; yeah she could see why. After checking her hair in the mirror, she tied the now iconic, faded and worn bandana around her neck. Her former token was something she was never seen without, even if she had had to stitch it up a few times, it wasn’t going anywhere. She stepped into the elevator, a basket containing cookies for Ky and Opal under her arm, and tapped the button for the floor ten below hers.

It stopped on four, according to the electronic display and Katelyn looked up in time to see Annie join her in the elevator. She smiled, a look of concern crossing her face as she noted the exhaustion on Annie’s face. Annie looked ill, like she hadn’t been eating enough. Or maybe drinking too much. Katelyn resisted the urge to say something about it. She’d tried a few district four delicacies before and things like sushi and deep-fried jumbo shrimp just didn’t compare to oven warm bread and a hearty bowl of chili or pancakes smothered in syrup, cream and fresh berries.

“Katelyn, it’s so good to see you,” she said with a small, almost timid smile. Katelyn tutted.

“Oh, come here Annie, that’s no way to greet someone,” she said, pulling the younger girl into a quick but friendly hug. The victor from four was ten years younger than her, and that was too young to have such weight on her shoulders. But then, the same could have been said of them all. “I’m happy for you, you know. Beck’s a good kid. Maybe they’ll lay off you for a bit.” she said as she stepped back. The doors closed behind them. “I hope you’re doing alright. Kirito’s been on edge since the reaping. Too many memories of his quell coming back.”

The elevator continued its descent towards the main floor and Katelyn held up the basket. "Cookie? There’s a mix of snickerdoodle, white chocolate macadamia and peanut butter to choose from. You look like you could use a pick me up.” She said, smiling kindly. There was many things that the tabloids got wrong about the victors, but one of the biggest concerning Annie was her win. Whatever other people said, Katelyn knew in her heart that Annie was one of them. A victor, and while her regrets, her mistakes might still be walking around instead of at rest in a graveyard, it didn't make the pain hurt any less.

It had taken Katelyn the greater part of six years to come to terms with what had happened to her, only for another struggle, another internal war to begin. She would never begrudge her fellows, her comrades whatever road they took to deal with things. But any time she could nudge them towards a path slightly less self-destructive; Well. If victors didn't stand in the gap for each other, there was a very short list of people who would. Only a few of them were blessed enough to have a support structure back home. The rest spent too much time alone.

"Would you like to come over for dinner sometime this week?" she offered. "It's been awhile. We should catch up!"

Last Edit: Jun 5, 2020 21:02:33 GMT -5 by charade

16 Jul 12, 23:43
GB: I bet you just sit at your computer with a tea cup and a monocle

pearl mcclain d4 [ryan]
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2,978 POSTS

Pronouns: he/him
last seen Nov 6, 2024 20:42:57 GMT -5

over the moon, where all the wild things are

dont hold me to it [charade] Jun 6, 2020 4:01:05 GMT -5

Post by pearl mcclain d4 [ryan] on Jun 6, 2020 4:01:05 GMT -5

Annie wasn’t sure if she was well if she was being honest with herself. However, she was sure that she was nervous about what was going to happen during this quell. Annie was waiting for the twist to reveal itself. Annie of course, knew they wouldn’t wait until the end again, seeing as her own quell had been that way. The idea of there being no victor this time around did cross Annie’s mind if she was being honest, but at that point, she thought the firing squad might have been a little bit easier than just putting all of these children through the games. Of course, there would be no fun in the capitol for that, and these things were put on so the capitol could have something to look forward too. The death of Snow had been sudden, but the games came even quicker, and that was meant to be a distraction from the current crumbling political climate that was known as the capitol. Annie knew it, she watched when no one thought she was. She just wasn’t going to admit it.

She was smart on that end, and she knew that.

But still, the thought of not knowing the twist right away did put her at odds ends. She would claim that she was sleeping well to everyone else, but she wasn’t. She knew that. She had been through a lot and quell’s would always make her feel like she is not doing enough. Of course, she always had to remember that they would never be the same. The capitol could not afford the luxury of letting more tributes go on to live full lives after all. Annie still considered herself lucky, but she also accepted the fact that what happened was not her fault, and that she could not control the outcome of what happened in the games. She fought as if she was going to be the only one coming back, and that was very clear right up until Glamour Kinkade told her otherwise. That’s when it all sunk in, and the doubt become even more real. Add to that, Bette, Denali, and Angel now all could look her in the face as they all realized that she had to kill them in order to come home. Of course, none of them understood, and that was okay with Annie. They probably would never understand, and that was something that she had to accept. She tried to make it easier on all of them, and she tried to explain her piece, but nothing changed. They all left her high and dry and she knew that she deserved that.

It was only right.

Of course, she didn’t come to term with this right away.

It took many victors to tell her that she was more than her quell twist. That what she had gone through had still been just as traumatic as their own games. She didn’t know what was coming, and she couldn’t have guessed such a thing. After all, killing someone, and then being lifted into a hellicarrier to be injected with drugs could only get one sort of reaction out of her. Of course she saw red the moment that Kinkade opened his mouth, but then she saw black, and then white. She was then in a medical wing where she was being told what they could do for her hand. All of it was so much, and so quick, and none of it really made sense to her. It wouldn’t make sense to her.

She didn’t want it to make sense to her if she was being honest with herself.

Because if it made sense, then she felt like she was going to lose herself. All she knew was that yes, she was a victor, yes, she was a survivor, just like the rest of the tributes that went into the arena with her. People didn’t see it coming, no one. It took other victors, like Saffron Lowe and Katelyn Persimmon to tell her constantly that nothing she did was her fault. That at the end of the day, they all experienced the same trauma. Annie’s just had a little caveat at the end of it. But that asterisk had a loaded barrel attached to it. Even when she thought she was safe from it, it always somehow backfired on her. Whether it was Nico Thorne telling her that she was wrong for having her opinion, or if it was jealousy from other victors, such as Jacinta Salazar, it somehow always came thrown back at her. Even if she explained that she was not the person that chose the twist, she knew it wouldn’t matter. She got the best deal out of all of them, and she knew she had to admit that.

But erasing her experience was wrong, and it took her months to accept that. Once she accepted what she had went through, things got easier for her. She was able to sleep better, stop drinking as much, and find ways to at least grapple with the fact that she was never going to be like any other victor, and all of that had to be okay with her. So seeing Katelyn here, did in a way, make her feel like this was more than what it was. Seeing her here, in this elevator right now made her remember that everything was going to be okay. That she did not have to beat herself up over it, even though it was five years later.

Katelyn told her that was no way to greet a friend and Annie couldn’t help but agree. She knew that much, but she had been so worked up that she could barely think straight. ”Thanks Katelyn.” she said as she was pulled into an embrace that felt warm. Katelyn and Saffron had worked hard to make sure that Annie was recognized as one of them, and that her games did not negate her experience. It was moments like these that kept Annie from going insane if she was being honest. She could drink herself to death, she knew that, but remembering that people like Katelyn and Saffron existed made it that much more clear that she needed to stay around.

Even though disappearing had always been on her mind.

”I don’t know if they will ever lay off me, but at least Ill have another by my side.” Annie admitted to Katelyn. Of course, Leon had been there for Annie, he just, didn’t make as many appearances as she would have liked. He showed up for the important things, but when it came down to the nitty gritty, he was usually preoccupied with Glamour. Of course, it was probably to secure sponsorships and the like, but Annie wished she could have had a little more help with the tributes. Of course, now that Beck was here, that would be an easier ask. ”He really is a good kid though. Leagues different then Bell.” Annie said to Katelyn, honest as always. She would still, to this day, voice her opinion about the Hailshams, and how things were run in that “family.” She did not know anything more than they were a career family, except for the fact that most of the children, if not all of them, were adopted. ”He wants to put the world on his shoulders though, kind of hard to explain that just isn’t how it works.” Annie had rubbed her arm before giving another light smile to Katelyn.

Then she mentioned Kirito. ”I met him during the victory tour for the first time. It was an experience.” Annie said with a bit of honesty, trying to forget the intensity she felt at the dinner table as they discussed their hopes and dreams. ”I share that worry if I am being honest, but I know well that they will never do what they did for my Quell…” Annie spoke clearly, reaffirming that it was a onetime deal. ”… Ive come to accept that.” She admitted to the blonde as she stood there, all neat and proper. Everything that Annie wished to be when she got to be as old as Katelyn. She had been a good role model to aspire too. Sure, she wasn’t a career, but she knew what Annie had gone through. That had been more than enough to at least quell her guilt into a corner.

And then she mentioned cookies. ”Sure. I can never say no to baked goods.” Annie couldn’t help but smile as she found one that looked like peanut butter. She took a nibble before taking a huge bite, which affirmed that she liked them. She realized that might have been rude. ”Sorry, I can be picky about my peanut butter cookies. These are delicious though Katelyn.” Annie said with a smile. Feeling a tiny bit better because she had a little food in her stomach. Sure, it wasn’t a whole ton, but it reminded Annie that she needed to eat anyway. ”If I am being honest, I skipped breakfast today, but ill rectify that as soon as I get situated downstairs.” Annie felt the elevator move slowly, realizing that this building had been far too tall. Even when she was a tribute she thought the same thing. ”I promise I am trying to take care of myself.” Annie had to add, even though it was clear that she didn’t look like it.

The thought of dinner with Katelyn sounds as good as it could get. Annie nearly jumped at the idea, realizing that she did have people on her side. It was always refreshing to realize that after all. Annie gave a light smile, ”Dinner sounds lovely.” She stood back against the glass, ”So much has happened, Id love to update you.” Annie smiled, realizing that she hadn’t really told anyone that she had an encounter that was favorable with another victor. Annie knew that it would be healthy for her to talk about it after all. Sure, it might have seemed like a hookup to most, but Annie could feel that there was more to come between her and Shelby. Maybe Katelyn could give her a little insight on it.

Whatever would happen, Annie was more than happy to at least oblige the invitation.

PAT: 1719

charade
Retired Staff

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last seen May 1, 2024 12:08:12 GMT -5

Thinking

dont hold me to it [charade] Jun 8, 2020 19:49:18 GMT -5

Post by charade on Jun 8, 2020 19:49:18 GMT -5

k a t e l y n .

A little girl, a little small for her age
A little too slow for the field day race
Momma's waiting at the finish line
And wipes the teardrops from her eyes

It was true, she thought, as Annie responded that they might not lay off her. The Capitol was hungry for more career victors, and they’d been pushing Opal and probably Ridley as well. But it helped to have someone by your side. If Beck could be that friend for Annie, then more power to the both of them. Katelyn would have shattered a long time ago if it hadn’t been for Kirito and Harbinger winning back to back. Annie went on, and it explained why Katelyn had felt obligated to talk with Beck. Like her, he put the world on his shoulders. He just hadn’t yet learned how to share the load.

Katelyn drew the cloth back as Annie reached inside, taking a peanut butter cookie and tasting it hesitantly before really taking a bite. Katelyn chuckled good-naturedly. She knew plenty of picky eaters, but she always found something she could coax them into eating. As for pastries, not to toot her own horn, but she was certain everyone liked them. Well, except maybe Kass. And that girl was probably lying.

“Good, good!” she said, beaming as the elevator reached the bottom floor and opened its doors. “You’ll have to tell me everything.” She stuck her hand in the basket and pulled out two more peanut butter cookies, putting them Annie’s hand. “For the road,” she explained, covering the cookies up again.

“I’ll hold you to that dinner,” she said with a small smile, looking at Annie over her nose. She walked out of the elevator and pulled her thoughts back together. Busy day ahead of her. She was going to try to get down to Sampson’s tailoring place again, this time hopefully without running into avox’s that looked like her. The guilt weighed heavily on her, especially after finding out the person that KP belonged to was Poria Rain. She’d stopped by that shop a long time ago, poking around Style Street while she worried about Kirito.

It was apparent that she’d left an impression on the proprietor.

Then again, it was probably rare for a victor to actually go inside a store like that; seeing the blood and pain merchandised for citizens was a nightmare in of itself. Then again, at least Poria didn’t seem to be malicious. In her experience, the owner of tributes and token’s was just someone who lived for the culture of the games. She didn’t mean any harm by it. The same couldn’t be said for whoever had designed the museum, or the statue garden for the people like Poria.

“They’re keeping me busy,” she said, turning back to Annie. “But it’s good to see you, I mean it.” There'd be time for a more in depth conversation later.