after hours | cyro's letters to katelyn

On the floor of District Eleven, two letters rest in the sight of the entire floor, as white as the walls of the capitol, scratchy letters making out two names on the front of them. Katelyn Persimmon and Xander Krane. Once opened, the contents of either letter is exposed in the flourish of a boy's heart upon paper. Scratch marks from a boy who had looked over the letters over and over again are present. A heart lays along the papers, as if the memory of a scared boy resided in each and every blocky word.

Katelyn Persimmon,

You asked me days ago why I picked you. Why would Cyro Krane pick the victor of District Eleven over his own family? I left a lot of baggage behind with Wilson. We fought more than cousins should. It got bad enough between the two of us where there was no coming back from what was said. If you want the full story, you should ask him, it's not my place to tell and I'd rather leave that fight in the past.

I picked you, Katelyn because I know you'll do the things I never could for him. You've grown from the past, learned to be a survivor, and built a legacy that Eleven will never forget. I was just two when you and my cousin went in. I remember the way Levi had smiled back then, full of a heart where I had none. I used to think I would never see that smile again, when- when my father used to tell me I should have never been born. Used to think that the world was a cruel place for people like me who made mistakes. I grew up around alcohol and the abuse of my father, which only got worse and worse with age. I thought I would never see that smile again.

Until I was older and saw you in the square, with the same smile he had. Wilson and you having a talk during Harbinger's homecoming. You pushed me through a dark time, despite never knowing it. You are the heart of Eleven and I don't know if there is any other place for Xander. He's- He's my angel and he's never been an Izar until I volunteered. Until it mattered. I spent months thinking about what to do when we were so close to the streets, knowing Xander deserved better than me. I never told him why. I probably won't ever get to tell him why.

I can't think like that.

Sorry.

He deserves a place where he'll be loved. A place with someone who could raise him to be someone who makes someone smile when the world wouldn't allow it. I trusted you the first step I took on the train and part of me still trusts you. I'm going to try to get home, Katelyn, but i-if I don't. I want you to take him. I want him to grow up in a place where he'll have a family. If Wilson gets over his own issues at some point and you don't want him. I-I understand. Just make sure you explain to him why. D-Don't break my son's heart.

He's already had enough heartbreak in his life.

I beg of you.

Please.

If I am to die, my last wish is for you to give him a good home or find him one.

Yours Truly,
Cyro Krane

The other letter is sealed, almost as if daring anyone who touches it to open it. The back of the envelope says to open it after his eighteenth birthday.

To my angel: Xander,

Happy Birthday, Angel.

I hope you're having a good day with people who love you. You may not remember me, but that's okay, I promise. If you're reading this, it's because I'm no longer here anymore. I'm sorry, angel. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. I hope you'll understand one day why I had to do it and I hope you won't blame me for my bad decisions. I love you so much that it hurts knowing I'm going to be leaving you... I wish I could have seen that smile you have more. I wish I could have spent all of your school years helping you with homework and telling you that you are enough. (You are always enough, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.) I wish I could have been there to hold your hand the first day you left for school. I wish I could have been there for you through your first childhood crushes and told you that it'll be okay and you'll find someone out there one day. I wish I could have been there to teach you how to shave and to embarrass you at your first dance. I wish I could be there to tell you that there's always something more to look forward to when the world feels so cruel.

I am so sorry that I won't be able to be there for you. I hope the Izars and the victors are treating you well. You deserve the world. I would give you the world if I could, angel. Don't cry because I'm not there. Don't cry because you've always brightened up the world everywhere you've gone and I know you'll bring happiness to people in your own way. You will always be my angel, a shining light in the dark. I miss you so much. I know you must miss me. I know you probably hate me and that's okay, son. All the pain I brought to you is real and I am sorry I had to put that on to you. I hope you've made it out of the reapings and never have to read this early. I hope you understand that I will always love you, whether I am there or not.

You've always been my little angel.

A bright star through all of it.

I'm sure you've grown into a bright young man.

I love you so much son.

Never forget that.

Never forget me.

I love you so much, son.

Lots of Love From Your Father,
Cyro Krane

(P.S. If Wilson and Vasco are still around, give them a hug from me.)