NO TAKEBACKS! // JEM + SAMPSON + KY BLITZ!

k y .

"I live in my own head
And I don't feel at home there
Maybe I don't know it yet
But I been trying to reset"

So even I know that when you're in mourning it's alright to cry but I don't.

I try to, I sit there in the stairwell between floors with my back to the screen behind me, where day two fights continue as if Emmett hasn't just been killed by a bird. I don't know which is made out of paper at this point because I thought a career like him wasn't supposed to get blown over so easily but his body is still there in the background of his allies' struggle for survival.

And all I can think about is his hands in my hair, on my cheeks not even a full two days back, and the sound of the ocean. I lift my hands up to look at them, palms callused from training and yet so useless. Maybe if I had been there, but then what. If I was there, Emmett wouldn't have had to be and I should have gone in for him somehow.

I should have died or maybe I have died. Maybe this stairwell is purgatory, I don't know how long I've been sitting here. Maybe ten minutes, maybe hours, I have no idea. I left the tap on in my room, I need to go back.

The thought does nothing to move my legs.

I don't know what to do with my face, how to make it so there's nothing legible on it, nothing for anyone to guess at. So I don't get up, I just wait, for what I don't know.

A sign I guess.