ashes (opal&ridley)

Stare
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3,105 POSTS

Pronouns: she/her
last seen Nov 5, 2024 11:29:31 GMT -5

and i will hold you tight / like the moon in the arms of the sky

ashes (opal&ridley) Jul 4, 2020 23:10:07 GMT -5

Post by Stare on Jul 4, 2020 23:10:07 GMT -5

Ridley wasn't sure how long it was after Emmett's death that she sat curled up by her bed, staring at the darkness, before she realized that her arm was still bleeding. The blood had curved around the rim of her prosthetic hand, scarlet glittering at the edge of the gold, and was sticky-dark against her skin. There was a pool of it beneath her, nudging against her hip.

She rose like a ghost, a corpse, empty and aching and only half-aware that she was moving as she opened her door and padded out into the hallway. Blood splattered against the floor, the wall. Ridley blinked at it. Everything was quiet and still, and she realized it must be late in the evening. First night without him. She felt as if somebody had gutted her with a rusty spoon.

Pax. Ridley's throat was tight, her good hand gingerly pulling out one of the glass shards embedded above her wrist. I want my mom. Only her mother had ever seen her like this, vulnerable and twisted and despairing that she would never be good enough.

But Pax was gone. Ridley thought briefly of Kirito, who had been there for her the last Games when she'd faced a train ride home with a pair of bodies, but he was on a whole different floor and had his own tributes to worry about. Instead she staggered down the hall until she was standing in front of Opal's door. Her good hand hovered a moment, then rapped twice. When the door opened she took a defensive step back, tugging her arm against herself. Blood seeped through her shirt. "There was an accident," she tried to say crisply, though her voice was hoarse from crying. "It won't - it won't stop bleeding."

title from ashes, by claire guerreso

cass
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last seen Oct 24, 2021 18:11:43 GMT -5

ashes (opal&ridley) Jul 5, 2020 0:21:15 GMT -5

Post by cass on Jul 5, 2020 0:21:15 GMT -5

opal.

My mind is spun
I've had enough
Feels like I'm burning down the flames rise up
And I can't tell what's coming next
Feels life is like a game of roulette

It had been half an hour since she’d returned home, early in the morning of the next games day. Her head ached, dry tears stained her cheeks and her throat ached from the number of times she’d sobbed, biting back Ky’s name. Scrambling through the training center trying to find him, desperate to hold him and know he was safe, uncertain about the weight of the threat the Capitol had delivered to her doorstep.

Emmett was dead. Opal had failed. What did that mean for Ky?

It was an irrational fear, Jade was still alive, but it had been bubbling within her since the man in the suit had threatened him. Today, it had finally broken, a tidal wave of terror that had left her ready to tear down the entire building to make sure he was safe. After hours of looking, crying out his name, she hadn’t found him. There was a reasonable excuse, a reason why he wasn’t in their apartment. She’d sat on the floor by his bedroom, peering into the darkness, some part of her hoping the next time she blinked he would be in his bed.

At some point she had switched to staring at the door, knowing she would stay awake all day and night waiting for him to come back home. The sound of knocking on the door had her stumbling forwards, tears welling in her eyes, relief blossoming in her chest as she reached for the handle. His name balanced on her lips but was cut off in one crashing moment as the door opened to Ridely Le Roux.

How quickly relief turned to agony as she bit back a sob. Blinking through her tears Opal noticed the blood that dripped from Ridley’s arm as she tugged it against herself. The hoarseness of her voice spoke to the numbness of her face and the pain that lingered in her eyes. They’d all been in this exact same position.

“It won’t - it won’t stop bleeding,” she said and Opal felt something inside her break a little bit more. The scene before her familiar, and suddenly she was wiping her tears away, stepping aside to let Ridley into her apartment. She pushed her own pain down, sparing a quick glance up and down the hallways for Ky, battling the ache in her chest, before she closed the door.

“Here, take a seat,” she spoke softly, pulling out a chair from the dining table. The first aid kit came next, she placed it on the table, pulling out everything she thought she’d need. Reaching for Ridley’s arm, she paused, turning her gaze over to the young victor’s, “may I?”

elegant

Last Edit: Jul 5, 2020 5:13:00 GMT -5 by cass

Stare
Retired Staff

3,105 POSTS

Pronouns: she/her
last seen Nov 5, 2024 11:29:31 GMT -5

and i will hold you tight / like the moon in the arms of the sky

ashes (opal&ridley) Jul 8, 2020 18:16:28 GMT -5

Post by Stare on Jul 8, 2020 18:16:28 GMT -5

After a beat of hesitation Ridley reluctantly stretched out her arm. The feeling of having someone else care for her felt strange and unfamiliar, a vulnerability she wasn't accustomed to. It was something she'd only ever experienced in the Arena, when she was bone tired and bleeding and one of her allies had offered to lend her a hand. It had felt strange there, too. Back in One there had been no one to take care of her like that after Pax had died. After a bad training session she'd always returned to her empty quarters and awkwardly patch herself up in isolated silence.

As she watched Opal work she felt that familiar dread and agony bubbling up in her chest again. Ridley might have always been alone, but there were people who had cared about Emmett. Or at least, people who should have. A family. Her good fingers clenched into a fist and she focused her gaze on a blank spot on the far wall, trying to ignore the way her shoulders tensed every time Opal's fingers neared her prosthetic hand. "This is my fault."

The honesty was harsh and stinging, and somehow Ridley knew that these were words she would never say again. Not to the Le Rouxes, not to Kirito, not even to Seeya. But they were words that needed to be said, nonetheless. My fault. Not because she'd failed him, though Ripred knew she'd done that too. No, her guilt was an angry, twisted thing that had been sowed long before Emmett had volunteered.

"When I won, I thought things would be different with the Le Rouxes. I thought that seeing everything that had happened in the Arena would make them give a damn about me. But it didn't. And I got angry." She remembered that cool fury settling in her bloodstream, the harsh realization that even her crown was a burden on what was supposed to be her family. "I dared them all to try to do better than me. And then Emmett - " Ridley broke off abruptly when her gaze returned to Opal and she recognized something in the other Victor's eyes.

Pain. Fear.

"What - what's wrong?"

title from ashes, by claire guerreso

cass
Retired Staff

4,822 POSTS

last seen Oct 24, 2021 18:11:43 GMT -5

ashes (opal&ridley) Jul 10, 2020 0:46:45 GMT -5

Post by cass on Jul 10, 2020 0:46:45 GMT -5

opal.

My mind is spun
I've had enough
Feels like I'm burning down the flames rise up
And I can't tell what's coming next
Feels life is like a game of roulette

Opal was familiar was hesitation, and she patiently waited for Ridley to reach forwards, her fingers gently working around her wound with a cleaner. The cuts were deep and Opal frowned as she dabbed at that, wiping away the blood as tenderly as she could. Based on the length it was possible they might need stitches, but for now, all Opal could do was hold the wounds together with butterfly bandaids. If the wound began to clot and crust over by the morning it would be safe to assume the cut would mend itself.

“This is my fault.”

Her shoulders tensed, the words the blade she had used on her own heart. This was the life they had all fallen into. It was one filled with self-loathing and blame, ruled by the belief that each death of a district one tribute could have been entirely prevented if she had just tried a little harder. It was poisonous and one push away from falling off the edge of a cliff. They’d all been there, united by their desire to save, but lost by the pain of failing.

As Ridley continued, Opal found herself falling into a time when she had been exactly the same. Naive enough to believe that the crown she had worn would fix things, that she would get the approval she had craved her entire life. Instead, her adoptive parents had shifted their eyes to the next rising star, hoping that one of their beloved favorites would bring glory to the Shore household. Opal had watched, feeling like she was drowning as she had shoved them from her life, burying the name until she had taken Earnest.

"What- what's wrong?"

She started, gaze meeting Ridley’s, emotions captured in one stare. Was she that easy to read? She’d always struggled with controlling her emotions, containing them, and hiding them. Argonite called her an open book, she’d loved his smile, he’d died a few games after her own.

“A lot,” she said simply, gaze drifting from Ridley’s and back to the wound on her arm. “I have been in your position as well, I know that pain,” she paused, sighing as she looked at Ridley once more. “Sharing that with you won’t make you feel better, nothing really does, Ridley. I think you just have to feel it and accept it, it doesn’t really go away,” she leaned back in the chair, offering the younger victor a gentle smile.

“I’m still feeling it, twenty years later.”

She hoped Ky was okay.