wish me pain . day 4 . fall from grace

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cass
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wish me pain . day 4 . fall from grace Jul 10, 2020 3:20:04 GMT -5

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Post by cass on Jul 10, 2020 3:20:04 GMT -5

m e r e d i t h .

I hope people break their promises
Leave you in the cold
I hope they beat your heart to pieces
Worse than you've ever known

He was dead.

The sound of the canon echoed in her skull, echoed in her chest as she dragged Lysander away from the fight. She felt numb, hallowed, chewed up and spat out, the world was destroying her. The tears fell, silently down her cheeks as she trudged onwards.

It’s my fault.

“Cyro, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, the words soaking into the sound of the rain, carried away into the sea of blood. They chilled her skin, the icy water hurt, numbing each of her limbs until they stung. She was weak, too weak and she had fooled them all, pretended to be someone she wasn’t. Her entire alliance had believed she was a strong career, they had placed her faith in her. She had failed.

It’s all my fault.

They trudged onwards. Cyro’s body floating in the water where they had left it. A son, sitting back in district eleven with no father. She was hurting too much to everyone grasp at reality, the pain pushing away the side of common sense within her. Fragments of memory from this morning trying to push itself to the forefront of her mind, but it was shoved aside by the ugly head of her self-loathing.

A calm and collected Meredith would be able to push the pieces together, would know that maybe he wasn’t gone, but this Meredith was none of those things. She was broken. She let go of Lysander, feeling the pressure bubble in her chest as the air around her became harder and harder to breathe. She was choking, scrambling for breath as her hands moved to her throat. Her chest ached, heart pounding as she fell to her knees with a splash.

“I can- can’t-”breathe. A sob slipped past her lips and she fell on all fours, gasping and fighting with herself as the tears fell into the water. Her fingers dug into the sand as she was overwhelmed.

“It’s my fault,” she sobbed, she didn’t know if they heard her, of the sound of the rain drowned out her admission. “I missed,” and he died.

The next domino had fallen as Cyro’s blood pooled around it, it’s your fault, scratched into the surface.

“I missed,” her fingers tightened on the sand until it hurt, “and he died.”

It’s my fault.

elegant

Last Edit: Jul 10, 2020 3:22:59 GMT -5 by cass

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wish me pain . day 4 . fall from grace Jul 10, 2020 7:29:37 GMT -5

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Post by lionel estrada d5 ᥫ᭡ kiah on Jul 10, 2020 7:29:37 GMT -5

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's only me, and I walk alone

She hadn't wanted to leave him. But she knew that she had too, she knew that she had to go after Mer and Lys. Wiping away the last of her tears she takes one last look at her fallen comrade. A canon sounds, echoing in her eardrums and she bites her lip, stopping the sob that fought to escape them. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry that I failed," she whispers before she climbs to her feet retreating in the direction of her allies.

She does not look back, her eyes glues on to the dark figures in the near distance. Whether she liked it or not she had to say good bye, she had to let go. This was the Hunger games, and if she wanted to make it home she had to say her good byes. No matter how much it hurt. No matter how close she was to losing herself, losing herself to the abyss that tempted her with seductive whispers.

“I can- can’t-” Meredith chokes on a sob. She is on the ground, her chest heaving as she fought for a breath. Wordlessly Arabella sinks to her knees beside her. She gently places a hand on the careers back, rubbing it in small reassuring circles. She forces her features to go blank, forces her to ignore the grief that raked through her body. It made her knees feel weak. She was glad that she was kneeling because she was sure that if she was standing that they would have gave way, that her lips would have pulled back in a howl of grief as she let is consume her. But she doesn't, instead she swallows it, her throat bobbing at the effort to keep it down.

She had to be strong. She couldn't allow herself to fall apart, not matter how much she wanted to. And oh boy did she want to. Her vision starts to blur, the back of her throat burning.

Breathe, Arabella, breathe. Taking in a deep breath she closes her eyes for a moment.

Cyro had died. Died so that she could live, and even though it tore her apart, she would not let that be in vain. She had decided from the moment that she had climb to her feet that her tears would stay with him, soaking into the material of his shirt.

It’s my fault.

I missed.

The words strike her like a blow to the gut. Arabella had also missed. She might not have been the one to strike the killing blow, but she might as well held Cyro still, making him an easy target. She had missed and he had died. "It's not your fault, Mer," it's mine she says quietly, her hand still working in small circles on the girls back. "It- Its not your fault." Then she grabs the girls chin, forcing her teary eyes to meet her own, "it's not your fault and you need to pick yourself up. We cant afford to- to fall apart right now. if you can’t pick yourself up from this then you’re gonna get yourself killed. And that’s not fair to Cyro, that’s not fair to me or Lysander, who are trying our best to go home.” She throws the same words back at her that she had used just yesterday. "Don't fall apart, Mer. It's easier to mend cracks then it is to fix something that has broken into pieces."

Last Edit: Jul 10, 2020 7:31:17 GMT -5 by lionel estrada d5 ᥫ᭡ kiah

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wish me pain . day 4 . fall from grace Jul 10, 2020 23:05:35 GMT -5

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Post by d1b. xylia fray ♕ kaяi on Jul 10, 2020 23:05:35 GMT -5

l y s a n d e r .

Red.

The sea was dyed darker than it had been, their spilled blood tainted the foggy water. Some of it was hers, some of it was their enemies, but Cyro's floating body contributed the most. Meredith grabbed her good arm and dragged her away from the fight, supporting her leg.

Lysander was covered in cuts and bruises and broken bones.

But she was numb.

She couldn't take her eyes off of Cyro as Mer led her away. The way his broken body floated in the water, it was surreal. Part of her was waiting for him to stand up and follow them away to safety, follow them home to Xander, but he laid still.

And they kept moving.

Finally, they were at a safe distance and Meredith fell to her knees, sobbing. Lysander stood there, still staring at the direction of their dead ally. The tiniest hope still laid deep within her that he would return, but he never came.

"He's not really dead, is he?"

It was hard to picture his lifeless body never returning, his smile no longer present. Her eyes met Meredith's as she broke down, she did her best to stay upright. Seeing their strongest ally fall apart threatened to destroy her, it threatened to bring her crashing down too. The two young girls that stood in front of her reminded her too much of Hazel. Meredith for her strength and willingness to go to great length to protect others and Arabella's tender and compassionate side made her gentle and sincere. Together the two brought back the memory of her sister. Lysander wasn't able to save Hazel.

So she knew she had to protect them instead.

She grabbed Meredith by the shoulders, and used the little strength she had to bring the girl to her feet.

"Pull it together! You can't fall apart now. Cyro wouldn't want you to give up."

Lys used her weapon to hobble over to Arabella, looking her dead in the eyes. Her speech was comforting and inspirational, something she knew she would not be able to recreate herself.

"Sometimes it's okay to be broken. You can put yourself back together better than you were before."

Her words were somber as she spoke. Years of experience of falling apart, but somehow putting herself back together. Not once did she think that she would ever be able to piece herself back together. Not once did she ever think life could be promising.

Not until today.