requiem for the rain — perdita

another filler-wip post?? we're not shocked anymore! i hate my job!

Perdita watches Niko fall, unable to do anything to stop it; unable to accept it. She can't land a hit, can't find her focus — but she still runs forward to grab the kitten, pulling it away from the torn flesh and floodwater, tucking it in her bag and yelling at it to, "Be quiet!" But it's crying, and so is she.

The damage is done, the enemies start to break away — but she reaches for Niko, feels the faint pulse of his heart through her fingertips. "You're not dead." And he's not, not yet. "Come on. It's not over." She's sobbing, the rain is relentless. She uses all of her strength to drag him behind her.

It's a terrible feeling. Trying to find shelter, trying to forgive herself for not protecting him — arrows flying over their target, gemstones cutting through the air. His arm in the water, his screams, her shaking hands and the shallowness of her breath. It's her fault. She let him die. She didn't save him.

And she's trying to be okay with that, looking down at this dying boy and trying to tell herself it's for the best. "You idiot." But her voice catches, the tears stinging her eyes. Everything is bloodshot, and bleeding, and breaking. "Why'd you fucking do that?" 'Why'd you step in front of my arrow?' she wants to ask.

Why'd you stay?

Why'd you wave at them?

Why'd you trust me?

Her arms start to lock, old wounds ripping open, she slips. "I can't—" she gasps, still feeling his heartbeat moving through her. She doesn't know when it will stop, but it's only a matter of time. The kitten's screams have turned into a steady mewing. "Niko, I can't. I can't carry you." She said she would. She promised.

But she failed Emmett, and now she's failing him.

She lets him go, and he hits the water with a splash. She looks down at him, forcing herself to turn away and start moving through the flood. She doesn't say sorry, doesn't wipe her eyes and try to be done with it, but she pulls the little beast from her bag and holds it beneath her neck. She shields it from the rain, holds it tightly and warmly in her hands.

[ wip!! more in maintenance ]