sound of my heart . meredith vs will vs mutt . day 6
Jul 18, 2020 17:55:46 GMT -5
Post by cass on Jul 18, 2020 17:55:46 GMT -5
My heart's seen things I wish it didn't
Somewhere I lost some of my innocence
And I miss it
I miss it
“I kept my promise,” she smiled at him, exhaustion weighing at the corners of her mouth.
Everything felt heavy, her limbs were unwieldy and she moved slowly as she took each pain-filled step closer to him. This was it, she’d survived hell. There was a moment of triumph there, a flickering flame that battled against the rising tide. Her shattered arm hung loosely at her side, her fingers were swollen, purple and blue and she could no longer feel them. That had terrified her, as she’d sat up against a tree demanding her fingers to move, unable to feel the ant that crawled over exposed bone and swollen flesh. Her chest heaved and every breath was effortful, she wheezed, the ear escaping her lungs angrily.
The flesh around the peg leg wouldn’t stop bleeding, each step sent a sharp spike of agony through her body as she moved closer to him. She gritted her teeth and moved onwards, she’d lost Arabella and Lysander a little while ago, trailing behind them as she struggled through each step she took. At some point she must have turned the wrong way, losing sight of them around a tree or something. Calling out their names was impossible, her throat like sandpaper, so she’d continued onwards hoping that maybe she’d bump into them at some point.
There had been too much pain for her to even think of getting to sleep last night and the thirst had almost driven her mad as she’d dried licking at the dew on the leaves in the morning. There was no reprieve, the pain inside her skull was a constant reminder. Her brain felt as though it had shriveled and black dots danced at the edge of her vision. This was nothing like what she’d suffered back in district two, her spirit was broken and there was nothing much left of the Meredith that had stood at that reaping all those weeks ago.
“You gotta save me now, Will,” she croaked, every word like a whip to the back of her throat. That was the deal they’d made, right? The words weren’t meant as a plea or a cry for help, but rather a call from her heart to ease her own suffering. Why was she so desperate to have Will kill her? It had plagued her since she had met him on the train, haunted her from that fight the other day until now.
She wanted to help him, to force him to look at her and acknowledge every part of her as he killed her. He wasn’t quite so broken in her eyes that he couldn’t be saved, she’d seen a glimpse of it on the train. She saw it when he was fighting beside his allies when he had attacked Cyro with such anger and hate. There was more, buried beneath the scars and Meredith wanted to tug a few free.
The fake leg slipped and with a cry she tumbled onto the ground. She remained there, peg leg having already fallen off. Her lip shook as she turned her eyes to the sky, there was a prickle behind them and she wondered if she even had enough in her to draw out a single tear.
The backpack she had fallen beside her and with her one good arm, she reached into the bag, pulling free the firewood she collected before shoving them in the direction she’d seen him. Cyro’s face had been in the sky last night and she honestly hadn’t believed there was anything left in her to break, but somehow some part of her had been destroyed. She wondered how lonely he must have felt, and if he had cried out his son’s name as he had died.
Tilting her head she nodded at the bag of wood, the glint of the flint shining in the morning light, “I don’t wanna come back, Will.” It seemed that there was still something there, biding its time within her as the tears slipped free, rolling down her cheeks.
“They can’t put me back together if there’s nothing left of me,” her voice broke on the last words, her broken arm cradled against her chest as she bit back a sob. It was more than that, though, burning her body meant that they couldn’t send her back home to be dumped in a river or a bin in some alleyway. Maybe her ashes would get scattered by the gentle breeze within the Arena, that’d be nice, she thought. It was a better image then she ever thought she’d get and it lightened her heart and between the tears, she was able to smile.
She scrunched up her face, a hand reaching in the dirt as he grew closer, “hold my hand.” The world was spinning, and she was almost positive that when she’d fallen one of her ribs had punctured her lung. The taste of blood bubbled with the bile at the back of her throat.
The wheezing in her breath sounded wet and she coughed, “please, Will.”
There’s movement from the corner of her eye and suddenly the space between her and Will is filled with smoke, butterflies descending from the sky, dancing within the rainbow plume that separated them. Meredith’s eyes widened, panic settling into her chest at the uncertainty of what kind of danger she was in. She’d come so far, her fingers stretched out, aching at the shoulder as Will’s name teetered on the edge of her lips.
Help me, she wanted to scream. When her lips parted, the only thing to escape was a trail of blood, slipping down her chin and falling into the dirt.