Red - the blood of angry men (Jade v Ezra, Day 8)

I walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's only me, and I walk alone

There is so much blood and her blade had been close enough to his heart that she was momentarily transported back to her fight with Arabella. Her knife had met Arabella's heart, and before she knew it she was holding a dying girl that she had meant to protect, not murder. She blinked as her eyes began to sting, but she wouldn't allow the tears to fall. She remembered Arabella's words, telling her not to cry. Just like her father had told her. No, Jade wouldn't allow herself to be that weak again. Morin children didn't cry, she reminded herself.

Her thoughts made her slower to react. She didn't see the boy's attack, at least not right away. She was only able to dodge most of the blow, but she still felt the white hot pain of the knife graze into her skin. If she was going to win, then Jade had better get her head together here and now. She couldn't lose when she'd promised to win. She grit her teeth and looked the situation over. It should be easy. He was from Three, she remembered the Reaping videos well. However, he'd also been dead before and brought back to life and she was only well aware of the changes that brought a person. The price they'd had to pay was too high.

Before she'd gone and interrupted his pleasant time in the freezing waters, he'd said something, but it only now entered her head. “I guess,” Ezra responds. “I didn’t think the blood stains were enough.” A part of her wanted to laugh, but she recognized that part of her now. It was the part that wanted to slip into insanity and allow it claim her soul. It was the same thing she'd allowed for the majority of her time in the arena, and she couldn't allow it to take over her now. She stay strong and she wouldn't feed into that insane part of her anymore. She would never break her promise to Arabella.

He doesn't believe that she's sorry, and she hardly blames him. After all, she'd attacked him while he was just relaxing, and she was well aware of the fact that it likely made her appear to be a monster. For now, she realized that she would need to embrace that look, because it was so near the Games now that anything could happen. What if she ran into Dominic or Pisces? As much as she wished to avoid those thoughts, she knew the possibility was real. And she would have to be a monster then, too. If she allowed herself to be weak, she wouldn't be keeping Arabella's promise. She needed to build shields of ice around her heart.

That's the only way she would make it out alive and keeping her promise. She had to make the world turn red, and she could not afford to hesitate.

"I am sorry," Jade's words are calm. "I have a promise to keep."

With that, she thrusts forward with her dagger once more.

I walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's only me, and I walk alone

Jade should be horrified. It was only normal to be horrified seeing her own blade cut through another boy's hand. She's been trained to fight for years. She's had plenty of broken bones and scars, but she'd never really fought for her life before the Hunger Games and it was her first time witnessing wounds so terrible that it would make her wonder how anyone could keep on standing. She'd suffered wounds terrible enough to make her wonder how she kept on going, but she did. And she would. And she wasn't horrified, even though she should be. Instead, she sweeps the bloodied hand into the back of her brain. She tries not to imagine how it feels, because she knows that will only cause issues like fear and hesitation.

“I don’t care,” Ezra says, injured arm limp at this side. So he’ll have to swing his sword one handed, big fucking deal. His aim can only get better at this point. “I know that’s rude to say but I really, really don’t care.”

The words didn't surprise her. She hadn't really expected him to care. At least maybe he understood. Shouldn't they all by now? Wasn't it obvious since the previous day? She may have been stuck in the Catacombs, but she'd heard about it from Pisces and Dominic. They had all been separated, so the finale was close. Everything was coming to a close now, and any sort of hesitation or lack of preparedness would only make her falter and that wasn't something she could afford if she had any intention of keeping her promise. She gripped her dagger, and it felt so small in her hands. She was still more used to a sword, rather than the dagger, but it seemed to be working for her better than the sword had. Maybe it was Arabella's spirit helping her through the dagger. Giving her strength so she could keep her promise.

The thought caused her to smile, and she had been too slow to react once more. She dodged most of his blow, but the sword still grazed her skin. She grit her teeth and knew this was nothing. Just small cuts. They were nothing close to the wounds that had initially killed her. They were nothing compared to the wounds deep in her heart that she took on after killing Arabella Shirley. Just little lines of blood on her skin and nothing more. It wasn't enough to keep her down. Jade gripped her dagger more tightly and stared at the boy who needed to die.

"I didn't expect you would," She responded with a shrug. "I'm just letting you know."

It was the respectable thing to do, wasn't it? To let the boy know why he was going to die, and why she was determined to live. She felt that he deserved to know something, rather than just silence, blood and pain. She knew that it wouldn't make a difference in the end. He had to die in order for her to live and keep her promise, so maybe it was more for her than it was for him. After all, Jade was well aware that he had his own reasons for living. They all did. He probably had a family to go back home to. She just had a promise.

“You need to work on your aim,” he spits. “You were so close the first time.”


Jade blinked in response. Did he really expect that would bother her? She'd seen the blood and knew that it had hurt. He was bleeding all over from his chest and his hand. She supposed he was trying to act tough, and she couldn't really blame him there. It was the easiest way to fight through pain. She did the same thing plenty of times before, so she merely shrugs after a moment.

"It still looks like it hurt," Jade commented, before thrusting her dagger at him again.

I walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's only me, and I walk alone

“I can’t do this anymore.”

After the words were spoken, Jade was surprised by how she understood it. She couldn't do this anymore, either. She didn't want to keep fighting. She wanted to dig in her bag and take out the alcohol and drown herself in the depths of that bottle. She wanted to throw her dagger into the red water and forget about this whole thing. She didn't want to fight anymore. She didn't want to draw blood, and she didn't want to take any more lives. The price had been too high, and she'd only really realized it after her dagger found Arabella's heart and ended the girl's life. Only then did she realize that she should have been the one to die.

Arabella had been so much stronger than Jade. No, she wasn't stronger physically, rather she was strong mentally. She could have survived. She would have moved on. She had support systems outside of the arena, and she'd known love like Jade never had. She was stronger, she was better, and by all rights Arabella should have been the one to walk out of this arena victorious. Instead, Jade had been the one to take her life too soon. The girl with no one to lean on, the girl with no hopes for a future, and no support systems. The girl who had broken early on in the arena when her first ally had been killed right in front of her.

Jade didn't deserve to win. More, she didn't want to win anymore. If she could, she would have traded anything to have Arabella back. She'd rather Arabella's dagger find her and end her right here and now, because the price she'd paid to live had been too high. It was all she could do to keep herself from breaking, because she didn't want to keep going. However, she'd made a promise to Arabella, and she had every intention to keep it, because she had to. It was her fault that Arabella was dead, and she knew the girl wouldn't forgive her if she allowed herself to be weak. She couldn't give in. Not now. Not ever. She had to win, because she owed the girl whose life she'd taken.

Just as she was about to strike out again, she was caught by surprise. The boy's sword struck her and left a deep gash. She grit her teeth and let out a low hiss of pain. She had made the worst mistake: she had underestimated her opponent. She had judged him by both District and earlier attacks, and it had cost her. Sure, it wasn't as bad as losing an ear or a hand, but it was bleeding and she knew there was always a possibility of bleeding out. She needed to take care of her wound, but she was still in the middle of a fight.

She took a couple of steps back, and stared at the boy from Three. She would have to be more careful from now on. She couldn't afford to keep making those types of mistakes, or Arabella would never forgive her. She had to be the Career she'd been trained to be, whether she liked it or not. She looked him over, trying to form a decent strategy, and hoping she wouldn't fail. She needed to finish this quickly, or she could be the one to die.

Jade should have remembered where he'd come from. His District no longer mattered, because he'd been in the Catacombs just as she had. Jade was all too aware of the price paid in the depths, and she should have known he was dangerous no matter his District number. She didn't know who he had to face down there, but that didn't matter. He'd earned his battle experience the hard way, and he'd managed to survive and kill at least one other person. He'd learned to be a Warrior, whether he'd been trained to be one or not. He was a danger, and she had to keep that in mind. She didn't know what promises he'd made forced to make, what new reasons he had to live for, but they had gotten him this far.

If she was going to end his second and final life, then Jade needed to be more careful. She thrust her dagger forward once more.

I walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's only me, and I walk alone

Jade let out a small gasp as the boots began to hover in the air just as she had thrust her dagger, causing her to be off balance. She still manages to land a hit with the dagger, but it was nothing more than a superficial wound. It wasn't going to kill anyone, especially not someone who had met death and confronted it like they both had. They were different from those who hadn't paid the price. Both souls heavy with the burden of survival in the Catacombs, where even allies would have to fight if they ran into each other. She tried not to think about it. She tried desperately to push the memory of her dagger sinking into Arabella's flesh out of her mind. If she was going to keep her promise to the girl, then she needed to focus.

“Did you hear me? I said I can’t do this anymore.” He grips his sword tight, with all the strength he has, ignoring the dripping wound in the middle of his palm and every other gash adorning his body. “So hurry up and stop butchering me. Make this easy. I know I don’t deserve that, but please.”

The words caught her by surprise, and for a moment she could only stare at him. Then as she'd stepped forward to honor his wish, her dagger met his sword and she was stepped back. She stared at the boy from Three, and wondered what was going on in his head. He told her to hurry up. He told her not to butcher him. Did he have a death wish now? Was the weight of blood too much for his shoulders to bear? If so, then why hadn't he put his dagger down? Why was he still fighting and making it more difficult for her to fulfill his wish? Maybe he didn't really want to die. Maybe he was playing mind games with her.

"It would be easier if you stood still," she commented, raising her eyebrows. "I don't enjoy drawing it out, either."

The Capitol, she was sure, was busy cheering her on. They wanted a bloody mess. They wanted mangled, broken bodies and a sea of blood. The lost of blood was so powerful for those who would never be forced to experience life and death the way tributes had to. They were disgusting, and she was surprised by how long it took her to realize that. She'd been waving to the cameras from the beginning, and she wasn't a fool to stop now, but she'd always thought this glamorous. Deep down inside, she'd wanted it. For glory, for love, for her parent's affection, but also because she thought it would be great to be famous. She hadn't seen real, broken bodies. She hadn't gone through the emotional turmoil one tends to go through in the arena. It had been easy to romanticize the idea, but she no longer did.

Jade had been forced to kill Arabella. A girl who had been so bright before being thrown into the horrors of the arena, and she'd seen the girl's changes. She had lost that brightness, though she had still been too good for Jade. She had gained edges and scars that could only be gained on a battlefield, and Jade knew that whether Arabella had lived or died she would have never been the same person she had met in the dining hall. It was disgusting how the Capitol had changed them by throwing kids into an arena to kill each other. It was disgusting that she had lived while Arabella had died. She would have made a far better Victor than Jade ever could.

None of it mattered, of course. She had made a promise to Arabella. She would win. She would remain strong, and she would carry the burden. She would pay the price and that way no one else had to. She moved forward, hoping her boots stay balanced this time. She needed to end this quickly. For both her and the boy from Three.