closer to the throne [pisces v will] day 8

"I just need some time,
I'm tryna think straight,
I just need a moment in my own space"

~

I hadn't realized it at first, but I must've thrown the boy off guard. It made sense, though. I was wearing his old ally's armor- including a mask. My face was covered, so it wasn't likely to have been a perfect giveaway as to who I was until I spoke. He must've thought I was the girl that I killed yesterday. At least, until those words came out of my mouth, followed by my weapon bruising his leg.

He certainly hadn't missed me.

"No," was his response to me, "that was JJ. I ain't missed you yet."

JJ. That was the name of the boy who'd killed me- noted.

"Terra?" this boy asked me. That must have been the girl that this mask belonged to. I nodded in response.

"I killed her yesterday. She'll be in the catacombs about now," I replied. I don't know what had me so keen on fighting this boy, but something inside me told me that I just needed to give him a hard time.

So, it was JJ, Terra and this boy that we'd fought the day that I died. At first, I couldn't think of the name of the one I was fighting now. What was it, what was it?

Will.

Will Johnwayne. That's what it was. I remember seeing his name flash across the screen with his training score when we'd all gotten our scores. He'd scored much better than me, from what I could remember. A seven, or something close to it, which put a shadow over my measly two. It didn't matter, though. What mattered now was that he'd just whipped a throwing knife into my chest.

I winced in pain, but didn't let it stop me.

"Want to see what it's like down there? I can make sure that's your next stop." I told him. It was a threat. I didn't usually threaten people, much less actually plan to carry out said threats, but this one was different. I actually planned to kill Will Johnwayne.

~

lyrics: "If You Want Love" by NF

"I just need some time,
I'm tryna think straight,
I just need a moment in my own space"

~

Will's response to me telling him what happened to Terra is him letting out a breath and a simple "okay". It seems like he's not really bothered by it. Which, to me, this just shows that he's probably not all that connected to those he called his allies. In some ways, he's lucky, as it means that he can let them die and try to win without as much guilt. In other ways, he's unlucky, as he lacks that friendship- that relationship- that I found so important in my own allies in this arena.

"We don't have to do that," Will says with a shake of his head, "the grudge match thing. It doesn't need to be personal." He has more knives in his hands now. "Don't really care if you hate me for killing you before —" He spins the knife. Showing off, I assume. "— that wasn't personal either." He launches the knife toward me. "Just something we gotta do."

His knife misses its mark and ends up somewhere that I doubt either of us would ever be able to find it. At first, I'm not quite sure how to respond, at least with my words. I know that my response with my weapon will be to strike him again, though.

I take a breath.

"Fine," I tell him. "No grudge match." I ready my weapon. "We'll fight because that's what we have to do in here."

I take another breath.

"Maybe we can even have some fun with it," I say. "That seems to be your kind of thing."

I swing my weapon at him, concentrating on doing a bit more damage with this strike. If I want to get out of here alive, I have to kill him.

~

lyrics: "If You Want Love" by NF

"I just need some time,
I'm tryna think straight,
I just need a moment in my own space"

~

My weapon stabs into his chest.

A sigh emerges from my opponent when I say that having fun with our fight must be his kind of thing. He says that's what everyone tells him, and honestly, I'm not surprised. He's from a career District, so he was probably trained for this stuff. I mean, sure, Jade was trained for this stuff, too, but I knew she wasn't cruel. She didn't find joy in tormenting or killing others. This guy just gave me a different feeling.

The boy has another knife now. He wants to know if this is fun for me. I suppose that's a valid question, as I did ask him the same, but I'm from Nine. We're not trained to want to fight in the Games. We're not given that sick-fuck mentality that so many from Two are.

"Was it fun for you yesterday?" Will continued. "Was it fun for you waking up with the dead?" I tightened my grip on my weapon as he spoke to me. "Was it fun for you when me and Jay put you in the ground the first time around?"

"I get it," I snapped at him, "and for the record, no, I don't find it fun."

He asked me if I wanted to hear a secret.

"I hate this," he tells me. I probably shouldn't have, but I let out a slight laugh. It just didn't seem right, the way he showed off, twirling his knife, or the way he seemed to so desperately want to kill me the day that he and JJ did.

"If you say so," I responded to him. "I suppose, if that's true, we can agree that this isn't fun. Besides, I wouldn't want you to enjoy this too much," I told the boy. "Especially since one of us is going to die here, and I plan to make it you."

His knife then flies through the air. I shouldn't have been talking so damn much. I had gotten too confident and had distracted myself for just long enough for his knife to cut deep into my neck. For a moment- just a split second- I thought I was dead, right there, but I was still okay. It was my turn to strike. I had to concentrate again.

~

lyrics: "If You Want Love" by NF

"I just need some time,
I'm tryna think straight,
I just need a moment in my own space"

~

Laughter comes from the Johnwayne boy. Then, when I swing my morning star at him, he is quick to block my attack. This won't stop me, though. The Gem family, although not raised as fighters, are never quitters. Sure, the Gem family is raised to be kind, too, but I can't focus on that right now. I have to focus on the aspect of things that involves never giving up.

"Oh, no," Will decides to say to me, "I ain't about to let that happen."

He doesn't do any showing off this time- no fancy knife tricks, twirling or otherwise. This time, something's different.

"Someone'll show up for you," the boy continues, "but no one's gonna bury me."

I can sense his confidence, just like he could probably sense the anger I was trying to bury.

"So I ain't going in the ground at all." He tells me this, and then throws his knife. It cuts into my stomach- luckily not too deep- and I snap back at him.

"I'm glad we've both got an idea of how this is ending. Too bad they're different ideas."

I'm angry at him again, like I was when I first struck him. I want to fight him, kill him, send him to the catacombs. I don't want to see him ever again. I want him gone. I'd never felt this way about anyone before, and I was sure my parents wouldn't approve of it, but that wasn't something I could be focusing on now. I had to focus on fighting.

The Gems don't quit. We don't give up. We are determined individuals. We won't just lie down and die. That's why I don't give up. That's why I don't give in. That's why I fight. That's why.

Swing!

~

lyrics: "If You Want Love" by NF

"I just need some time,
I'm tryna think straight,
I just need a moment in my own space"

~

I shattered the boy's leg with my morning star and yet he still insisted that there was only one kind of ending- that he'd remember me. I had it in my mind, however, that if he were to remember me, it would be remembering me as the one who put him in the catacombs tomorrow. I wouldn't just let him kill me. I'd already decided that.

I'd broken people's bones more than just a couple times in this arena, and I wasn't planning to stop if it meant I would survive another day. I know that Jade, Dom and I separated, determined to avoid each other from this point forward, but on the off chance I encountered them again… I suppose I'd have to fight Jade, too. I know I'd promised to protect her, Dom and Zenia, but there's only so much one can do. I can only sacrifice myself once more, and if I'm going to do that, it'll be for Dominic, not for Will. Not for anyone else; just Dominic.

What would Dominic think if he saw the way I was fighting? Would he be proud of my strength and bravery so far, or would he be ashamed of the anger I was using to propel it all forward. Would he be mad at this 'grudge match' that Will had said we'd created?

I couldn't let that get to me right now. I'd protect him later, but to do that, I had to keep fighting. I had to be alive to protect Dominic. I couldn't do that dead. I'd already come back to life after death once and unfortunately, I couldn't do it again. Death this time would mean game over, and I wasn't planning on letting Will Johnwayne cause my game over.

This time, as I swung my weapon, I didn't speak a word. I need not waste my breath on the boy from Two.

~

lyrics: "If You Want Love" by NF