a pain goes on and on (Jade, Second Leisure Post, Day 8)

I walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's only me, and I walk alone

Jade slowly rose, and looked around her carefully. It was near the end of the Games, and she had already fought. That was usually good enough for the Gamemakers, but it was the Quell and she could never be sure. After making sure the Gamemakers hadn't conveniently placed another tribute close to her, she washed her hands in the ice cold water, dried them on her robes, then turned around. With her alliance broken, she was on her own from now on and if she wanted to ensure that she was in peak condition tomorrow, then she should find plants. She wasn't going to run into them on the beach, now was she? If she was going to find some before dark, then it was best to head out as soon as possible. She glanced around just one last time before deciding it was safe enough.

She ran, and decided it felt good. It took her mind off the despair she was feeling, even with her stuffed dragon safely in her bag. She didn't need to think when she ran, only react. Every so often, she would pause to catch her breath and make sure no one else was around. A part of her, she realized, hoped to see someone familiar. Despite telling them it was time to split up, she needed to see them, to be with them, to make sure they were alive. She yearned for the laughter they sometimes shared. Zenia's face found its way in her memory, and she felt the stab of pain. She'd been mean to the girl, and now she was dead and gone. Jade would never see her again, never be able to apologize, never be able to make up for it.

That was the nature of the Games, though, wasn't it? She had thought herself prepared, but she found out that there was no preparation for this. No one could get her ready to face losing people she had liked. She hadn't thought she would make friends here. After all, the very idea sounded insane. Who would make friends with the dead? She hadn't realized how deep the desire to make connections with other humans was. She figured there wasn't a single person alive in this arena who hadn't made friends and lost them. There was something about fighting for their very lives that just brought them together naturally.

With her eyes stinging once more, she pressed on and ran faster. She tried to run until the thoughts melted away, until she couldn't see faces in her mind anymore. Her lungs, and her legs burned, but she wouldn't stop. She couldn't stop. She was running away from it all, but she didn't realize that's what she was doing. She needed to escape the pain, if only for a moment. Finally, she stumbled on the ground as flowers smacked against her face repeatedly. She didn't understand what was happening at first, but slowly she came to the realization that she was in the flower fields of the arena. The wind pelted flowers at her left and right, but she only felt relief. This was where she wanted to be. She would find plants in the clearing.

On shaky legs, she stood up and ran again. This time she had a destination in mind, and she ran until she found the clearing. After a little bit of time, she found the plants that she needed. She tore them into pieces and pressed them against her wounds before then wrapping the bandages around them and ensuring they were good and tight. She was no first aid expert, but she'd watched plenty of Games and figured she had picked up on the basics well enough. This should hold up long enough and stop infections from taking a bad turn. At least, they should for long enough to make it out alive and have the Capitol work their magic on her. After seeing their handiwork in the Catacombs, Jade had decided that she wouldn't leave them alone if they didn't reattach her ear perfectly. They owed her so much for this, she figured it was the least they could do.