Awake and alive [Thane vs Vale]

I'm not the best fighter in the world, but I'm learning. Standing my ground is important. Making sure to learn the ways of the academy is important to me, and despite being small and young, all I want is to show that I'm strong and capable. In my younger years I never saw it, and people always made fun of me because I am smaller than most people my age. It doesn't matter though. And now I'm standing before someone I don't even know, and I really want to win to prove myself and show I am capable, but I am afraid, and maybe that's why my first attack didn't go as planned.

And when he talks to me, I'm not really sure what to say, and I feel like my voice is leaving me. It catches me off guard, and when he swings his sword, I feel it embedding into my arm. It hurts. It hurts so bad, but I tell myself I have to focus. To keep going if I want a chance of proving myself to everyone around. I take a deep breath, and I take a step back hoping to rethink everything. I can't just do what I'm doing. I can't let him distract me. I take another deep breath, and I steady myself once more, and I swing with all my might. "Feisty? Not as much as you. Stabbed me in my arm you piece of..." Formalities aren't for me, but maybe this will do.

He doesn’t even know my name, and it makes it difficult to continue on, but I have to do something. Winning would mean the world to me. It would show me that I am strong, that I know how to fight. That I belong here in the divergent academy, yet I feel like it slips away with each passing second. I’ve never been strong enough. Never good enough, and I’m not muscular like a lot of other people here, and sometimes it just gets me down. Winning this would give me a chance to prove that I have earned my place. I take a deep breath completely ignoring what the guy said. It doesn’t matter to me. It doesn’t matter that he’s stronger than me because things can change in the blink of an eye.

I take a step back looking at the blood dripping from my clothes, and I know I’ll need some medical attention, but that’s okay for now. Right now all I need to do is focus. I need to grip the sword tighter, and follow through on a swing instead of just sending the sword flying without a care. Focused attacks work much better, but it’s hard because my entire being is trying to shake. It’s a good thing I’m good at holding it back and keeping my nerves down. Right now the only thing that matters is making sure I somehow come from behind and win.

My eyes narrow, and this time I don’t even know what to do. The sword is awkward and heavy, but I know what I need to do. I know that I can do this. I can do anything I set my mind to. So many people have told me this over and over, and right now I need to believe it myself. I take another deep breath, and I just find something to focus on. Clearly this guy is getting into my head, and right now I need to make sure he stops doing that. I take a simple step back, and this time I step forward hoping it’ll help me do what I need to do in order to succeed and win. I won’t give up. I’ll keep fighting no matter what. "End it already you meanie."

I guess it's reverse psychology or something because he misses completely, and all I did was take a step back. Sometimes it's difficult being here. I just want to prove that I am deserving of being here, and right now I'm not doing the best job at it. I'm not landing attacks the way I need to, but I'm trying to stay in it. I'm trying my best to not go down without a fight because right now I need the strength of my family or something to overwhelm me.

It's hard standing here trying to fight when this person clearly is stronger than I am, and they're just toying along doing whatever, and it's annoying. I'm going to lose, so why just make me stand here like I'm a fool? I don't know what to do really. Fighting within itself is hard. It's difficult, and right now that only thing on my mind is getting out of this. I just want to go relax for a bit and maybe clear my mind.

I take another step back tightening my grip on the sword once more doing the best I can to simply stand my ground. I'm not going to back away, but I know when a fight is lost. I don't even speak to him. I just stand here, and when I'm ready, I give the sword a half hearted swing. Why try when I'm going to lose? I want to succeed, yet I'm not capable of doing it. I'm too weak and frail, but I will come back stronger next time. Maybe then I won't make a fool of myself.