la vida termina en lluvia - mourning dove's song

A chill seizes me, one that evokes tears to escape the corner of my eyes, no matter how hard I fight. Because I don’t hear the screams of children as I fall, nor adults demanding for my blood, or of animalistic roars. I hear rain. 

I hear the strumming of an untuned guitar and the gentle humming of the notes to a familiar nursery rhyme. My body tries to fight it, knowing what lies next. I’m not ready to go home, yet home is calling to me. Since I know once I cross that threshold, yours will be empty.

I hope you can forgive me someday, Milagros. I hope you don’t waste your days resenting me as I did with papa and Aarón. I was too young to understand, too angry to want to, but now I do. The pieces of the puzzle now slide in with ease, you don’t have to stress their seams. They left at twilight to prevent our pain, just as I told Ernie to take you away during that dreadful day. I couldn’t bear to put you through that, because I wanted to come home. Because children shouldn’t have to worry about adult problems, not ten-year-olds. 

I grew up at ten, I didn’t want the same for you; they didn’t want the same for you. They thought leaving would prevent our strife, but in reality, it all ends the same. 

Life ends in rain. To gentle hymns and a warming discordance. Stale coffee licks faintly in the air, tangoing with tortillas, and the shuffling of pegs that never want to stay in place. I’m home now, but don’t wait for me, Mili. Promise me this, okay?

[FIN]