van mars, three | fin | Hunger Games: The RPG

gamemaker 💀 hades lochlan Administrator 7,693 POSTS last seen Apr 24, 2024 15:04:14 GMT -5 — 🥀 —	van mars, three \| fin Sept 28, 2020 13:39:04 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by gamemaker 💀 hades lochlan on Sept 28, 2020 13:39:04 GMT -5 v a n ~~d e r~~ ; ^{district three, fifteen years of age}
	Last Edit: Aug 22, 2022 19:11:12 GMT -5 by gamemaker 💀 hades lochlan ^{I AM A GARDEN OF BLACK AND RED AGONIES}

gamemaker 💀 hades lochlan
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van mars, three | fin Sept 28, 2020 13:48:00 GMT -5

Quote

Post by gamemaker 💀 hades lochlan on Sept 28, 2020 13:48:00 GMT -5

No one knows he's a terrible person. He finds solace in that- tries to. The truth is that it only limits the cruelty inflicted upon him by so much, for so much of the cruelty lives within him. So much of it is born of his own thoughts about himself, staring at himself in the mirror and ticking off all the things he does not like about himself, each a reason for him to do something horrible to the world as a result.

Chaos itself pumps through his veins- it is what makes him listen, listen, listen to the mournful, hushed sobs of his mother long after everyone should be asleep. No sleeping tonight. Not for her, not for him. Her, because she misses her darling husband, the beloved father of her children. Van, just another of the many children left behind for her to raise alone. He sits in his windowsill and dreams of someplace else.

The chaos is also what causes him to follow Damion and Indigo when he sees them disappearing into the woods so late and yet so bright because of the blue moon looming up above, passed the treetops and the streetlights and even the highest steeple of the church at the end of the block.

It's why he eavesdrops on their conversations, giggling over Indigo's demands that Damion leave her brother alone- "He's sensitive!" she's explaining- Damion snorts at this too. Sensitive is an understatement, to be fair. Damion, also to be fair, is himself an overstatement. All the worst things a person could be fearful of could be easily felt when anywhere near him. He pockets the matchbook that falls out of Damion's pocket once the two of them leave.

Its because of the chaos within him that Vander Mars cannot stop himself from striking up one of the matches right then and there: a lone, twisting flame within the darker darkness of the trees around him, creeping its way down the matchstick toward Van's waiting fingers.

He feels something in him that was not there before- a light in its own way was a nice way of thinking about it. Hearing the strike of the match and the hiss of the flame, feeling the heat of the fire and looking at the charred remnants in the moment before he drops it to the ground and stamps it out with his boot. He feels... better.

He hasn't felt like this since the last time, and well, he knew damn well how that went- the Mars family was minus an astronomy tower and a father figure because of him and this chaos within him. He's vowed a hundred times to not do what he's just done- to not do what he's going to do again now.

Deep breath in.

He pulls out another match.

Last Edit: Aug 22, 2022 19:10:53 GMT -5 by gamemaker 💀 hades lochlan

^{I AM A GARDEN OF BLACK AND RED AGONIES}

gamemaker 💀 hades lochlan Administrator 7,693 POSTS last seen Apr 24, 2024 15:04:14 GMT -5 — 🥀 —	van mars, three \| fin Aug 22, 2022 19:12:42 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by gamemaker 💀 hades lochlan on Aug 22, 2022 19:12:42 GMT -5 gamemaker 🍒 maryn hale
	^{I AM A GARDEN OF BLACK AND RED AGONIES}

gamemaker 🍒 maryn hale RP Tutor 3,264 POSTS Pronouns: he/him last seen Apr 24, 2024 16:36:49 GMT -5	van mars, three \| fin Aug 22, 2022 19:26:02 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by gamemaker 🍒 maryn hale on Aug 22, 2022 19:26:02 GMT -5 " He feels something in him that was not there before- a light in its own way was a nice way of thinking about it. " margaret atwood is shaking