You Can't Fix Stupid [Drôle Prank Oneshot]

Zeus is a total and complete idiot. He always has been and always will be. Not only did he think it was smart to threaten me last night for taking the last bed and steal my breakfast in the morning when he knew I'd obviously get back at him for it later, he went and, like a moron, volunteered for the freaking Hunger Games, like, seriously? What the actual heck is up with him?

To be totally honest, I didn't even think that there was a purpose of any sort to me going to visit him in the Justice Building. He volunteered, after all, meaning that he was there by his complete own choice. Zeus was never the brightest bulb in the box, and we never got along, either. He didn't care about me or anyone in our family at all- that much was obvious. All he cared about was his dumbass squirrel.

The thing is, I was basically told that I had to go, regardless. Some of my family members pestered me about it immediately after the reaping. I caved, but I told them that if I was going to go in and speak with Zeus, I was doing it alone. I didn't want to feel like I was being monitored the whole time by my family. Sure, the Peacekeepers were surely going to be keeping a close eye on me somehow while I was in there visiting him, but that was different. I wouldn't actually know later if they had been judging me the whole time.

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When I got to the Justice Building, I told the Peacekeepers who I was there to visit and they escorted me all the way to the room where Zeus was being held, and ushered me inside, telling me what my very limited time constraints were. As soon as I entered the room, Zeus raised an eyebrow at me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he snapped as soon as he saw my face.

"I'll be honest with you, Zeus," I started, "I don't want me to be here, either."

He smirked.

"Alright," he chuckled. "Then let's get this over with already."

I rolled my eyes in response.

"Well, to start with," I began, "you're a total dumbass."

"Oh well I thought that one was a given, sis." The sarcasm dripped from his words.

Zeus had always been an utterly sarcastic idiot. He never really was polite to anyone, and I mean, while being polite in the Games won't cause you to win, it might help you gain some allies that don't actually want to kill you. I was pretty sure that as soon as Zeus started mingling with other tributes, every last one of them was just going to want to rip his head off as soon as the opportunity presented itself in the arena.

He'd be dead in seconds.

"Oh for sure," I retorted. "That, and I wanted to let you know that when you die, I'm taking that stash of money you keep under the loose tile in the bathroom."

Zeus continued to raise his eyebrow further and it almost looked as if it were going to escape from his face. He scowled in a way that said he was both frustrated and surprised that I knew where he kept his cash. The thing is, when you live in such a populated household, you start to learn where people hide things and what their weird habits are. I'd just never let Zeus know before that I knew where he kept his cash stash because I knew that he'd just move it if I did.

On top of that, mentioning it now would probably just piss him off at me more than usual. This was the time where families would generally say their sweet goodbyes. As for me- I just wanted to rub it in his face how much of an imbecile he truly was.

After a moment or two of silence, I spoke again.

"Goodbye, Zeus-y boy."

Then, I turned to the door and left. He was on his own with all of this now. I was doubtful that he'd learn from this mistake. He never learned from what he did wrong in life, ever, and he just keeps on making dumber and dumber choices.

Although, I suppose that's just my brother for you.

You can't fix stupid.

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709 words