crazy over you. mona & jamie
Oct 5, 2020 15:19:06 GMT -5
Post by 🌱 kaitlin. on Oct 5, 2020 15:19:06 GMT -5
When they call Mona's name, all Jamie can see is red.
It feels like the entire world is crumbling around him, like the sky must surely be falling and there is going to be nothing bright or good left in this world already so full with ruin. His stomach drops out from under him when it's Mona's name that gets called out, feels it all the way down to his bones when there is a ringing in his ears, like every part of him is vibrating, like every part of him is trying to come apart at the seams, like every single one of his atoms cannot comprehend a world in which Mona—his Mona—is going to be ripped from him.
He can't do this, can't lose her.
Not her, too.
Jester's hands are already on him though the second that it's Mona's name that gets called out, grabbing Jamie and holding him in place, slapping his hand over his mouth and to make sure that Jamie doesn't do something really fucking stupid like try to volunteer or some shit like that. The skin to skin contact jerks Jamie out of the impulse to volunteer as it is, drags him out of those toxic thoughts. We'll figure out another way, the other boy says anyway. We'll make sure Thorne gets her the sponsors.
It won't be enough. Jamie knows it. Everyone does.
It certainly wasn't enough for Jules.
Nico Thorne can't even save himself; there's no way he could save anyone else.
When the Peacekeepers take her away to the Justice Building, Jamie is already on their tail, watches them drag her all too roughly through the front doors. When he goes to visit her, again he refuses to do it through the proper channels, refuses to try and let them put a time limit on how long he can spend with Mona in what could be her last moments in Twelve. Seeing her there when he crawls through the window almost undoes him.
"Well, this wasn't the plan," he says, jaw clenched tighter than it has ever been, a desperate attempt to keep himself put together. He doesn't think she'll believe him, but still, he doesn't know how to do anything other than try to keep a straight face, try to make a plan. He thinks, if he had a choice, he would offer to trade places with her. If he could, he would die just to know that she'd get to live. He knows that she'd never have been able to heal him anyway, knows that he was always going to be this empty and broken thing, a violent creature incapable of kindness.
It feels like the entire world is crumbling around him, like the sky must surely be falling and there is going to be nothing bright or good left in this world already so full with ruin. His stomach drops out from under him when it's Mona's name that gets called out, feels it all the way down to his bones when there is a ringing in his ears, like every part of him is vibrating, like every part of him is trying to come apart at the seams, like every single one of his atoms cannot comprehend a world in which Mona—his Mona—is going to be ripped from him.
He can't do this, can't lose her.
Not her, too.
Jester's hands are already on him though the second that it's Mona's name that gets called out, grabbing Jamie and holding him in place, slapping his hand over his mouth and to make sure that Jamie doesn't do something really fucking stupid like try to volunteer or some shit like that. The skin to skin contact jerks Jamie out of the impulse to volunteer as it is, drags him out of those toxic thoughts. We'll figure out another way, the other boy says anyway. We'll make sure Thorne gets her the sponsors.
It won't be enough. Jamie knows it. Everyone does.
It certainly wasn't enough for Jules.
Nico Thorne can't even save himself; there's no way he could save anyone else.
When the Peacekeepers take her away to the Justice Building, Jamie is already on their tail, watches them drag her all too roughly through the front doors. When he goes to visit her, again he refuses to do it through the proper channels, refuses to try and let them put a time limit on how long he can spend with Mona in what could be her last moments in Twelve. Seeing her there when he crawls through the window almost undoes him.
"Well, this wasn't the plan," he says, jaw clenched tighter than it has ever been, a desperate attempt to keep himself put together. He doesn't think she'll believe him, but still, he doesn't know how to do anything other than try to keep a straight face, try to make a plan. He thinks, if he had a choice, he would offer to trade places with her. If he could, he would die just to know that she'd get to live. He knows that she'd never have been able to heal him anyway, knows that he was always going to be this empty and broken thing, a violent creature incapable of kindness.
