Sound & Color [Del/Dom]

Two weeks is all I had left before the end, the one that had left Shy crumbling in the train at just the thought, guzzling water as if to swallow each thought away. His words were confusing and forewarning, a mess I couldn’t seem to piece together by the time we had left. One whose scent wafted in the air of our floor when he wasn’t scarce, jutting invisible prickles that kept me at bay. I didn’t feel like playing mother dearest for the night. I’m not trying to help pull his hair back as if we were pals from Townsend. Let an avox or Cricket do so, it’s not like Bryze would be of any help. It is as if all that were meant to guide us had fallen behind, fading into the wallpaper and stitchings of the furniture. The academies taught us to know what to do; maybe it was confidence. But one of us was crumbling, and for once I want to know what it’s like for the ground under me to not bend underneath my weight. 

After a day of playing with fire, testing the limits of below, during my shower as water made its way through my coiled core, a question struck me. When was the last time I felt weightless, when was the last time I felt happy? 

It was a thought that floats like the heat and smoke of the metal worked stones, rising and intermingling with the fogged smog of District 2. But there are no forests to filter the intrusion that littered at the boundaries of our towns. Not here, at least. Maroon leggings coated my shower cool skin in warmth as I grabbed a steel tank lazily. Slipping barefoot into the elevator, I scrunched the water that dappled my shoulders and betrayed my trail with the shirt in hand. Like the smoke, I rose, following the only happiness I could remember.

I haven’t been happy since before. I can’t remember what it is like to sleep and know peace, to not awake several times throughout the night from ghosts who’s features blend into one, or wounds that ache all too well. Stretching towards the skyline is when I last remember it clearly. On a rusted steel ladder that held onto a skeleton neglected is when I felt weightless. The rust scraped into my palms, my abdomen swelled with blood and passion from a spar earlier, and above the horizon cried. Streaks of colors unnoticed before, with idle chatter that I was never promised of, I felt free. Scared, yet free. 

But I don’t feel fear here. Maybe I do, but it hasn’t gnawed at my palms or temples like some, I feel at peace. Peace knowing that whatever happens in the arena, all will be well. 

The chill of rooftop winds tickled at my shoulders, catching onto the damp sports bra straps. It was refreshing on my aching back muscles, but what was the most rewarding were the flowers. Scents I’ve only smelt of in official quarters and on the train drew me in, and soon I found crouching down, plucking the head of a yellow rose. Rising, the sound of water called to me, and a figure I hadn’t noticed before. At first I couldn’t place him, I never found it important to remember passing faces. Though his words next betrayed him, reminding me of another I had met earlier. “Get lost from the training floor down below, or do careers actually take breaks too?” With the pluck of a petal, it returned to the faux earth as I paced forth, smirking as realization dawned. “I don’t know, why don’t you ask Sweaty Shy?”

His invitation didn’t need to be extended, as I settled down on the fountain’s rim. One leg straddled the earth, while my right knee pressed against my chest. “Does everyone from Eleven talk like that, or is that a question better suited for Neysa?” Plucking another lemon petal, I flicked it towards the boy with an inviting softhearted laugh. “You don’t seem like the biting kind, as much as you puff your chest as if you are.” 

In that moment, it felt as if I had been living another life. A life where I could feel the earth between my toes, pluck flowers idly by romantic fountains, to banter with a boy I haven’t known hours before. The sky cried in hues I’m not used to, atop heights unfamiliar, but the premises all the same. These were finite times, memories that will always be eclipsed by what lurks near.